Help Need some help here

[AnnihilatedAnna]

My stepmother is pregnant.. I'm taking care of most of the household chores as it is, because my dad has d chronic pain and my stepmom is never here Or just doesn't do anything. I am terrified to be part of my father new "family" and also terrified that I'll be the one taking care of the child. I cannot do this I think. Does anyone have any advice?

 

[Marawa]

If you're in the USA join Job Corps. They provide housing, job training (highly skilled job ready training) & meet you where you are(ie need GED). They also help you reintegrate back into the community. assuming you're between 16-24

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

If you're in the USA join Job Corps. They provide housing, job training (highly skilled job ready training) & meet you where you are(ie need GED). They also help you reintegrate back into the community. assuming you're between 16-24

Good suggestion but sadly I'm in the Netherlands and 15 years old, thanks though

 

[Marawa]

Good suggestion but sadly I'm in the Netherlands and 15 years old, thanks though

I'm so sorry. You should not have to a slave to your neglectful parents whims. I hope someone comes along with regionally appropriate escape soon.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I think it's irresponsible of men to have kids if they are not willing or able to invest time and energy in the household. Like I am lazy af but also have chronic fatigue so I keep my genes in my jeans, so to speak. There is no advice I can really give you beyond have an open dialog with your father about this, and try to establish rules early on so that you are not saddled with too many responsibilities once the baby is here. And if it turns out that you are, then you definitely have some protection and legal rights there too as you are still a child yourself.

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

I think it's irresponsible of men to have kids if they are not willing or able to invest time and energy in the household. Like I am lazy af but also have chronic fatigue so I keep my genes in my jeans, so to speak. There is no advice I can really give you beyond have an open dialog with your father about this, and try to establish rules early on so that you are not saddled with too many responsibilities once the baby is here. And if it turns out that you are, then you definitely have some protection and legal rights there too as you are still a child yourself.

Thank you

 

[Tomasnil]

You know Anna even if your 15 you can still apply for a job. Get an afterschool job. Once you get a foot in somewhere you can get more hours during breaks and so. As long as you get a job and can retain it, its a very good way out of most problems. Not all but most. You should give it a try

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

You know Anna even if your 15 you can still apply for a job. Get an afterschool job. Once you get a foot in somewhere you can get more hours during breaks and so. As long as you get a job and can retain it, its a very good way out of most problems. Not all but most. You should give it a try

Thank you! I will.

 

[Deleted member 1496]

Disclaimer: Based mostly on my own life/mistakes/situation. Others may have a different/additional/better/worse point of view....

Mentally: If they dump or guilt trip you on more responsibilities to them or to the baby half-sibling, don't fall for it. They're the ones who had the child, not you. At this point, your primary responsibility is to prepare your own self to live as an adult. You matter as much as any other members of the family. If you can talk to them about your concerns, that's great.

Physically: Make sure they don't put the crib in your room; a newborn will keep you awake. Try not to accept even more work from them. If you do things for them or the baby, without injuring anyone you can fake incompetency or no-knowledge (if they won't hit you too much for it), so they don't have even more reasons--excuses--to leave the work to you. If you're teaching yourself something useful like plumbing, driving, cooking, or finances, those are good to know for when you need to live on your own. Though you can still learn yet fake incompetency/lack of knowledge to them. :)

Educationally: Whether university or vocational school, stay on top of your schooling if you can if it's the best route for you to survive on your own as an adult.

Hugs and Take care!

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

Disclaimer: Based mostly on my own life/mistakes/situation. Others may have a different/additional/better/worse point of view....

Mentally: If they dump or guilt trip you on more responsibilities to them or to the baby half-sibling, don't fall for it. They're the ones who had the child, not you. At this point, your primary responsibility is to prepare your own self to live as an adult. You matter as much as any other members of the family. If you can talk to them about your concerns, that's great.

Physically: Make sure they don't put the crib in your room; a newborn will keep you awake. Try not to accept even more work from them. If you do things for them or the baby, without injuring anyone you can fake incompetency or no-knowledge (if they won't hit you too much for it), so they don't have even more reasons--excuses--to leave the work to you. If you're teaching yourself something useful like plumbing, driving, cooking, or finances, those are good to know for when you need to live on your own. Though you can still learn yet fake incompetency/lack of knowledge to them. :)

Educationally: Whether university or vocational school, stay on top of your schooling if you can if it's the best route for you to survive on your own as an adult.

Hugs and Take care!

Thank you for your great advice! I will try my best to keep my self alright. I might move out soon depending on what my social worker thinks is best so we'll see!

I'm sorry if you went trough any of this. I know the pain. My first half sister of my dad and stepmother died, that was really painful and still cannot get over it.

 

[xiaomingdie]

Thank you for your great advice! I will try my best to keep my self alright. I might move out soon depending on what my social worker thinks is best so we'll see!

I'm sorry if you went trough any of this. I know the pain. My first half sister of my dad and stepmother died, that was really painful and still cannot get over it.

How old was your sister when she died?

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

How old was your sister when she died?

At birth. I was there.

 

[xiaomingdie]

At birth. I was there.

I`m sorry to hear that.
Do you still want suicide?

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

I`m sorry to hear that.
Do you still want suicide?

Yes, that doesn't go away.