Help Need help with self-harming. Any reply appreciated!

[𝑪𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒐𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒄]

Thanks for reading my thread! As I said in the title, I need some help & advice in self-harming. And also, I have several questions about it. Please do let me know if you're willing to help/share your experiences! Thanks a lot in advance.

Q1. When you did sh for the first time was there any fear of hurting yourself proactively? If yes, how did you overcome it? (if you don't mind my asking. Sorry if this offends.)

Q2. Does sh really help with reducing stress or getting rid of the current thoughts (usually bad ones)? Since I can't get any medicine to deal with depression, I may have to do sh as the only way to cope.

Q3. Could you please share your tricks in covering/hiding the scars from sh? I'd be most thankful!

Sending thanks & love.

 

[Life Is My Coffin]

Does sh really help with reducing stress or getting rid of the current thoughts (usually bad ones)?

I cut myself throughout high school mostly but to this day j still do cut myself if the psychological pain is just so intense and i have no other way of managing. it's usually a last resort situation. I don't really like doing it since i hate cleaning up so much blood

Since I can't get any medicine to deal with depression, I may have to do sh as the only way to cope.

Im sorry but ... how old are you? How are you not able to see a therapist/physician ? If you're under 18 you shouldn't be on here. Self-harm is definitely not even close to a substitute for professional help. Not even comparable. You should always begin looking into pursuing help if you're considering it

 

[numbspirit]

Q1: There was no fear, it was more like a mindless urge to do it. Kinda like autopilot until it was done.

Q2: For a very short, a tiny amount of time, yes. But it increases stress shortly after. It's like smoking, it only the reduces the stress you wouldn't even have if you never smoked at all. So no real benefit here.

Q3: Pretty much everywhere where clothes can cover.

That being said, self harm isn't worth it. At all. It doesn't have any therapeutic value, it can get you in a lot of trouble and as soon as you see that (even if you want to ctb) there's no point in self harm whatsoever, you'll just regret it.

 

[𝑪𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒐𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒄]

I cut myself throughout high school mostly but to this day j still do cut myself if the psychological pain is just so intense and i have no other way of managing. it's usually a last resort situation. I don't really like doing it since i hate cleaning up so much blood

Im sorry but ... how old are you? How are you not able to see a therapist/physician ? If you're under 18 you shouldn't be on here. Self-harm is definitely not even close to a substitute for professional help. Not even comparable. You should always begin looking into pursuing help if you're considering it

Thanks for sharing your story!
For the second question I'm over 18 already. As for the reason why I can't get medicine, there are mainly two. First as is usually the case, psychological therapy are extremely expensive and that is why I can't afford regular mental treatments. Second some cultural (or actually, family) backgrounds wouldn't allow me to be "mentally ill". Since in my culture however old a person is they are still child of their parents, each time I tried to explain they just refused to accept the fact that I am depressed. That's why I could only get diagnosed with depression, but couldn't get long-term treatment or medical help. My family and some people around me would go out of their way to prevent the whole thing.
Thanks for your help & concern anyway!

 

[over.the.rainbow]

Please reconsider sh. I did a lot of sh to my thighs in my early 20's because it was easiest to hide there. I'm in my 30's now and I regret it so much. For years I've been wanting to get tattoos to hide the scars I can't get rid of, because I'm so embarrassed I can't wear shorts. It might feel good in the moment but the permanent scars I made weren't worth it.

 

[𝑪𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒐𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒄]

Q1: There was no fear, it was more like a mindless urge to do it. Kinda like autopilot until it was done.

Q2: For a very short, a tiny amount of time, yes. But it increases stress shortly after. It's like smoking, it only the reduces the stress you wouldn't even have if you never smoked at all. So no real benefit here.

Q3: Pretty much everywhere where clothes can cover.

That being said, self harm isn't worth it. At all. It doesn't have any therapeutic value, it can get you in a lot of trouble and as soon as you see that (even if you want to ctb) there's no point in self harm whatsoever, you'll just regret it.

Thanks for sharing! This really help and I will consider it further.

Please reconsider sh. I did a lot of sh to my thighs in my early 20's because it was easiest to hide there. I'm in my 30's now and I regret it so much. For years I've been wanting to get tattoos to hide the scars I can't get rid of, because I'm so embarrassed I can't wear shorts. It might feel good in the moment but the permanent scars I made weren't worth it.

Thanks for sharing your experience! And I sincerely hope it will get better for you.

 

[boddibo]

From personal experience, SH is not the way to cope with things. It's such a short-term relief (I mean, sometimes it's just for a minute) then it gets worse. The only thing you'll do to yourself is getting addicted to that sensation of relief which will get shorter and shorter, so you'd have to do it even more... No, don't even start SH-ing.

I'm sorry you can't get access to medicine and that it leads you to consider SH-ing as a viable option as a coping mechanism.

 

[𝑪𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒐𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒄]

From personal experience, SH is not the way to cope with things. It's such a short-term relief (I mean, sometimes it's just for a minute) then it gets worse. The only thing you'll do to yourself is getting addicted to that sensation of relief which will get shorter and shorter, so you'd have to do it even more... No, don't even start SH-ing.

I'm sorry you can't get access to medicine and that it leads you to consider SH-ing as a viable option as a coping mechanism.

Thanks for advising! I'll consider it further.

 

[notherenotnow]

Q1: not really. I didnt think about it.
Q2: it really helps me with stress a lot. I only sleep well after I cut myself.
Q3: i cut myself on my hips so i cover it up with my underwear

 

[𝑪𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒐𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒄]

Q1: not really. I didnt think about it.
Q2: it really helps m3 with stress a lot. I only sleep well after I cut myself.
Q3: i cut myself on my hips so i cover it up with my underwear

Thanks for sharing!

 

[a.fool]

Thanks for reading my thread! As I said in the title, I need some help & advice in self-harming. And also, I have several questions about it. Please do let me know if you're willing to help/share your experiences! Thanks a lot in advance.

Q1. When you did sh for the first time was there any fear of hurting yourself proactively? If yes, how did you overcome it? (if you don't mind my asking. Sorry if this offends.)

Q2. Does sh really help with reducing stress or getting rid of the current thoughts (usually bad ones)? Since I can't get any medicine to deal with depression, I may have to do sh as the only way to cope.

Q3. Could you please share your tricks in covering/hiding the scars from sh? I'd be most thankful!

Sending thanks & love.

I want to ask, Do you really want to do this?
I don't think sh is the only option for you right now. I'll day do it after you have tried other ways to cope.
Try exercising daily for 30 minutes and try meditating. Please try meditation, it'll help I'm saying this from personal experience.
I wanted to sh many times but I didn't because I was scared of pain

 

[𝑪𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒐𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒄]

I want to ask, Do you really want to do this?
I don't think sh is the only option for you right now. I'll day do it after you have tried other ways to cope.
Try exercising daily for 30 minutes and try meditating. Please try meditation, it'll help I'm saying this from personal experience.
I wanted to sh many times but I didn't because I was scared of pain

Thanks for advising! I'll consider it further.

 

[Reuthry]

Q1: I started SH a long time ago, I don't remember when but like, after cutting for a few years I became sort of numb, I rarely feel the pain, maybe it is also because I keep cutting the same places quite deeply so the skin on that locations so the skin is quite thicker. I usually cut to the veins/arteries (I don't cut arteries completely) and to the fat because it doesn't bleed that much anymore if I cut any less.

Q2: I already use tons of meds for mainly for depression (and anxiety too, I take Xanax when I am not good and I feel calmer and sleepy). I used to use SH for calming down and cope with the feelings depression cause, depersonalization, derealization, numbness in general. Now it is a part of my routine, I am addicted to self harm and can't keep functioning if I don't cut once in 2 days.

Q3: I cut around my knees, I actually no longer can see the skin because of the scars, the cuts were quite deep and mostly wide so there are tons of big scars and some are even like really tiny pockets because I didn't get them stitched (and those steristrips etc are TOO expensive in my country). Like but they are not seen since I don't wear shorts, just pants. I also have quite visible cuts on my left wrist (I still don't know how I didn't cut the tendons, but I once hit some nerves so I sometimes feel random pain on my wrist and hands, it goes away after some time but it still persists). I wear long sleeves, yes even in summer. I also started to wear watches so if I accidentally show my wrist the watch is distracting so people don't see the scars and it covers the scars too. But never ever wear watches if you have some new and healing cuts, I once got a really bad infection and (since I can't do to ER for that you know I would be taken to psych ward) I had to make experiments on my wrist to heal it (I cleaned the cut, it didn't get better, I recut the scar and drained all the infection and filled it with povidone iodine and then washed it then used some random skin antibiotics I found in the house and it healed (don't try it it's probably quite bad for health).

 

[cold_severance]

q1: since kindergarten or earlier. sh IS the intention to hurt yourself, so idk
q2: it definitely helps with stress, nothing else compares
q3: don't really bother to hide

mind you, for me sh is hittinh myself, scratching, biting, etc. so dont get confused how a toddler could get a knife or smh

 

[Dot]

Thre = info abt sme dffrnt copng mechnsms etc on ths thred if n.e wld hlp

Slf am hppy t/ tlk thru n.ethng tht mght b intrstd in tryng

Mental health worksheets, booklets & digital resources megathread

@Dot and I are working to bring you some worksheets and similar resources to support working on/with your mental health. Please note that this information does not replace professional help, so use this at your discretion. Seeking a licensed mental health specialist is recommended, however this...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[Life Is My Coffin]

Thanks for sharing your story!
For the second question I'm over 18 already. As for the reason why I can't get medicine, there are mainly two. First as is usually the case, psychological therapy are extremely expensive and that is why I can't afford regular mental treatments. Second some cultural (or actually, family) backgrounds wouldn't allow me to be "mentally ill". Since in my culture however old a person is they are still child of their parents, each time I tried to explain they just refused to accept the fact that I am depressed. That's why I could only get diagnosed with depression, but couldn't get long-term treatment or medical help. My family and some people around me would go out of their way to prevent the whole thing.
Thanks for your help & concern anyway!

I didn't know China was that fucked up even in their healthcare merits. That's awful. I know it's generally an awful country to live in when it comes to freedom (they'd probably arrest you just for being on this website if they found out about it). But being denied human rights when one is in mental distress is pretty inhumane imo.

Side note: this is a really good Chinese depressive suicidal black metal band. I don't condone of self-harm but you should hear this band from your country that is themed around it anyway

 

[𝑪𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒐𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒄]

Q1: I started SH a long time ago, I don't remember when but like, after cutting for a few years I became sort of numb, I rarely feel the pain, maybe it is also because I keep cutting the same places quite deeply so the skin on that locations so the skin is quite thicker. I usually cut to the veins/arteries (I don't cut arteries completely) and to the fat because it doesn't bleed that much anymore if I cut any less.

Q2: I already use tons of meds for mainly for depression (and anxiety too, I take Xanax when I am not good and I feel calmer and sleepy). I used to use SH for calming down and cope with the feelings depression cause, depersonalization, derealization, numbness in general. Now it is a part of my routine, I am addicted to self harm and can't keep functioning if I don't cut once in 2 days.

Q3: I cut around my knees, I actually no longer can see the skin because of the scars, the cuts were quite deep and mostly wide so there are tons of big scars and some are even like really tiny pockets because I didn't get them stitched (and those steristrips etc are TOO expensive in my country). Like but they are not seen since I don't wear shorts, just pants. I also have quite visible cuts on my left wrist (I still don't know how I didn't cut the tendons, but I once hit some nerves so I sometimes feel random pain on my wrist and hands, it goes away after some time but it still persists). I wear long sleeves, yes even in summer. I also started to wear watches so if I accidentally show my wrist the watch is distracting so people don't see the scars and it covers the scars too. But never ever wear watches if you have some new and healing cuts, I once got a really bad infection and (since I can't do to ER for that you know I would be taken to psych ward) I had to make experiments on my wrist to heal it (I cleaned the cut, it didn't get better, I recut the scar and drained all the infection and filled it with povidone iodine and then washed it then used some random skin antibiotics I found in the house and it healed (don't try it it's probably quite bad for health).

Thanks a lot for your generous sharing and advice! And i hope things get better for you sincerely!

q1: since kindergarten or earlier. sh IS the intention to hurt yourself, so idk
q2: it definitely helps with stress, nothing else compares
q3: don't really bother to hide

mind you, for me sh is hittinh myself, scratching, biting, etc. so dont get confused how a toddler could get a knife or smh

Thanks for sharing your experience!

Thre = info abt sme dffrnt copng mechnsms etc on ths thred if n.e wld hlp

Slf am hppy t/ tlk thru n.ethng tht mght b intrstd in tryng

Mental health worksheets, booklets & digital resources megathread

@Dot and I are working to bring you some worksheets and similar resources to support working on/with your mental health. Please note that this information does not replace professional help, so use this at your discretion. Seeking a licensed mental health specialist is recommended, however this...

sanctioned-suicide.net

thanks a lot for your help. and best wishes to you dot!