Help Need help with planning

[xyzzy]

Hello, I just registered yesterday (thanks admins for approving me so quickly!) but I've been looking at this site for a while before that and it's helped me come up with a rough plan. I'd really appreciate help finding problems with it, improving it, and fleshing it out. I am 18 years old, so I've decided to use a shotgun. Here's what I've been thinking of:

1. Get out of bed early in the morning. Pack stuff for cleaning the gun, because I've heard shotguns come with grease inside them.
2. Withdraw around $600 from my savings account. I can't use my credit card because my parents are notified whenever it's used (also, the money on the credit card isn't mine, but the money in the savings account is, so I won't feel as guilty).
3. Take an Uber/public transportation/walk to a nearby rental car agency. Rent a car for the day for under $100.
4. Drive to a nearby gun store, buy a shotgun under $400. Looks like pump-action, 20-gauge is best? Buy ammo for less than $50.
5. Drive to a nearby gun range. Clean out the shotgun. Test it out.
6. Drive somewhere no one will see me.
7. Shoot myself.
8. There better not be anything after that.

I have some questions:

• What kind of ammo and shotgun are best?
• Are there any shotguns that don't come with grease and stuff inside them that I can basically start using immediately?
• This plan seems way too complicated. Is there any way to simplify it? Ideally I could just walk into the store, buy a shotgun, walk out, and ctb, but I can't do it in public so the rental car is necessary. I don't want to go to the shooting range but I need someplace to clean the shotgun first and I can't do it in the car because someone might see me doing it and get suspicious or something (I live in a blue state, and a gun would definitely raise eyebrows).
• What kind of places can I go to to kill myself? Obviously, I can't ask for specific places from you guys because I can't give out my address, but what kind of places can I look up on Google? National wildlife reserves? Mountains? Could I maybe shoot myself in the parking lot of the shooting range itself?

Thanks in advance.

Update: Tomorrow there'll be a place for me to go ctb where no one will see me but it'll be a rare opportunity, perhaps once-in-a-lifetime (ha!). I don't know if I'm ready yet (I've decided I definitely want to be out of here ASAP but I don't know if I can tamp down my survival instinct, especially since I'm a coward). I think I'll sleep on it and decide tomorrow morning. Any last minute advice? I don't want to mess up what might be my only good chance at leaving and get thrown into a psych ward. If I do it tomorrow, the rental car also won't be needed. My fingers are literally shaking typing this, I'm finally almost there. To be honest, I don't think this plan needs that much more fleshing out other than the kind of shotgun, ammo, and the specific gun store I'm going to. Wish me luck!

 

[Lone Wanderer]

Seems a bit hardcore... If I were you, I'd probably go with a cleaner way to CTB. That way your loved ones can see you one last time before burial. I won't suggest a method, but you can find better ones by reading the forums. Whatever's going on in your life I am sorry, and I hope you find peace in this life or the next. But for the sake of your family and whoever finds your body don't blow your head off with a shotgun.

 

[Darkover]

sounds like a good plan just go to a forest where you won't be found so easily wish you a peaceful exit it could be over in a blink of a eye or maybe you'll survive the shutgun blast to the head and lay in agony for a few hours before passing from the blast what could possiblely go wrong there are much better methods that require some time to prepare but go with your gut feeling on this

 

[xyzzy]

Seems a bit hardcore... If I were you, I'd probably go with a cleaner way to CTB. That way your loved ones can see you one last time before burial. I won't suggest a method, but you can find better ones by reading the forums. Whatever's going on in your life I am sorry, and I hope you find peace in this life or the next. But for the sake of your family and whoever finds your body don't blow your head off with a shotgun.

I agree, it's a very messy way to do it. I'm a pretty squeamish person myself and I would've chosen a different way, but it looks like with N and SN, there's too much chance of you being ripped off or being found by someone, and with exit bags, it's hard to find pure nitrogen. Shotguns seem to have the highest fatality rate of all suicide methods and they're pretty readily available here in the US so I decided to go with that. I'm not planning on my family finding me, I'll call the non-emergency hotline before I go and tell them where to find my body.

sounds like a good plan just go to a forest where you won't be found so easily wish you a peaceful exit it could be over in a blink of a eye or maybe you'll survive the shutgun blast to the head and lay in agony for a few hours before passing from the blast what could possiblely go wrong there are much better methods that require some time to prepare but go with your gut feeling on this

Forest sounds like a good idea. Any idea if I have to worry about park rangers or something finding me, though? Other people might see me taking the shotgun out of the car and going into the forest too.

About surviving the blast: it seems shotguns are the least likely to leave me alive. Any idea if there are methods more likely to kill? The only good ones I've found on here are N, SN, exit bag, and night-night, all of which seem to be less effective and take more time to kill you.

 

[Lone Wanderer]

I agree, it's a very messy way to do it. I'm a pretty squeamish person myself and I would've chosen a different way, but it looks like with N and SN, there's too much chance of you being ripped off or being found by someone, and with exit bags, it's hard to find pure nitrogen. Shotguns seem to have the highest fatality rate of all suicide methods and they're pretty readily available here in the US so I decided to go with that. I'm not planning on my family finding me, I'll call the non-emergency hotline before I go and tell them where to find my body.

I see. Well, it's your life Afterall. You get to choose how and when you go. Whatever happens I hope you find peace, my friend. And if there is a life after this one then I hope we'll become friends in that life. Take care and I wish you the best.

 

[27clubBRIAN]

I agree, it's a very messy way to do it. I'm a pretty squeamish person myself and I would've chosen a different way, but it looks like with N and SN, there's too much chance of you being ripped off or being found by someone, and with exit bags, it's hard to find pure nitrogen. Shotguns seem to have the highest fatality rate of all suicide methods and they're pretty readily available here in the US so I decided to go with that. I'm not planning on my family finding me, I'll call the non-emergency hotline before I go and tell them where to find my body.

Forest sounds like a good idea. Any idea if I have to worry about park rangers or something finding me, though? Other people might see me taking the shotgun out of the car and going into the forest too.

About surviving the blast: it seems shotguns are the least likely to leave me alive. Any idea if there are methods more likely to kill? The only good ones I've found on here are N, SN, exit bag, and night-night, all of which seem to be less effective and take more time to kill you.

Forest sounds like a good idea. Any idea if I have to worry about park rangers or something finding me, though? Other people might see me taking the shotgun out of the car and going into the forest too.

About surviving the blast: it seems shotguns are the least likely to leave me alive. Any idea if there are methods more likely to kill? The only good ones I've found on here are N, SN, exit bag, and night-night, all of which seem to be less effective and take more time to kill you.

You're right I read that somewhere , out of all the methods a shotgun blast to the skull is proven to be most successfully lethal . I'm jealous you have that option . It be nice to drive to a forest and Cobain my brains out. I'm afraid of SN just because , it will prob be a really long 20 mins til unconsciousness and nausea and I'm afraid I'd start bugging out . I wish I just had some heroin or fentanyl , that's the most peaceful exit ever

 

[xyzzy]

You're right I read that somewhere , out of all the methods a shotgun blast to the skull is proven to be most successfully lethal . I'm jealous you have that option . It be nice to drive to a forest and Cobain my brains out. I'm afraid of SN just because , it will prob be a really long 20 mins til unconsciousness and nausea and I'm afraid I'd start bugging out . I wish I just had some heroin or fentanyl , that's the most peaceful exit ever

What about night night/partial hanging? That's the one I was going to do before I found out you're allowed to get long guns at 18 in the US.

 

[27clubBRIAN]

What about night night/partial hanging? That's the one I was going to do before I found out you're allowed to get long guns at 18 in the US.

I'd rather do a full suspension it's seems so guaranteed or I have a two door garage with a attic might drop down from the attic door in the ceiling of the garage

 

[Darkover]

Forest sounds like a good idea. Any idea if I have to worry about park rangers or something finding me, though? Other people might see me taking the shotgun out of the car and going into the forest too.

About surviving the blast: it seems shotguns are the least likely to leave me alive. Any idea if there are methods more likely to kill? The only good ones I've found on here are N, SN, exit bag, and night-night, all of which seem to be less effective and take more time to kill you.

i have no idea if there will be park rangers hopefully not, maybe take a rucksack with you to carry the shutgun in, the best methods are SN and N

 

[xyzzy]

Anyone know if in Maryland I can just walk into a store, buy a shotgun, and walk out in <30 minutes?

Also, are there shotguns that can be fired immediately after buying?
Okay, I'm an idiot. It turns out the background check can take a month. Definitely not able to do it tomorrow.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Okay, I'm an idiot. It turns out the background check can take a month. Definitely not able to do it tomorrow.

Is that a state thing? I thought background checks had to be done instantaneously? I know I purchased 2 guns at a gun show from a licensed FFL dealer. They ran a background check, which took no longer than 15 minutes, and I walked out of there with both guns. But, it wasn't in Maryland.

 

[xyzzy]

Is that a state thing? I thought background checks had to be done instantaneously? I know I purchased 2 guns at a gun show from a licensed FFL dealer. They ran a background check, which took no longer than 15 minutes, and I walked out of there with both guns. But, it wasn't in Maryland.

Yeah, I checked later on Reddit and it turns out the background check does take only about half an hour after all (for long guns, handguns seem to take longer). I've decided to not do it today anyway because I'm just too nervous right now and I'll probably screw it up.

 

[xyzzy]

So it turns out I can't rent a car in MD until I'm 21. Just great. I'd have to borrow my parents' car somehow but that'd hurt them even more. I think I'll try partial hanging or something instead.

 

[xyzzy]

So two days ago, I got all my business wrapped up (there isn't anything anyway), gave my parents a bogus story and borrowed their car, found a legitimate reason to take my credit card with me (it's my credit card but my parents are the only ones who use it, pay for it, and get transaction alerts). I went to the shop, didn't raise any suspicion, picked out a shotgun, filled out the form, and was so excited but then the guy asked me for my driver's license and saw that I was 18.

Apparently, the store's policy is that if you're below 21, you can't buy a gun without your parents' permission even though I don't live with them, which is a ridiculously stupid rule. I had to pretend I called them and got sent to voicemail and I don't think the guy believed me but I haven't gotten any calls or anything yet.

So I think I'll go with partial hanging or night-night after all, even though I've tried choking myself in the past without any success. There's one more store that I could maybe try out but I don't know if my parents will let me take the car out again because the story I cooked up so I could take the car out won't work again and I'm out of ideas.

If anyone else is going to try out this method, please make sure to check the store policy in case there's something stupid there.