I have a 12 gauge and a 7.5 birdshot shell i'm going to use to commit suicide. problem is that i want to talk to the girl i love before one last time right before i die. I always get ready but when she texts me back i always come up with an excuse not to commit suicide. I'm not sure if alcohol would help me get past this or what to do about it. i just want my last words ever said to be to her. we aren't together anymore and she doesn't love me anymore i don't think but i am still very much in love. losing her is one of the reasons i am ctb'ing. Thank you for the advice in advance
not_a_robot
"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
- May 30, 2019
- 2,121
text that u love her one last time then throw your phone in the river.
been_there
Life cares only for itself.
- Jun 5, 2019
- 297
Yes, or the toilet if there's no river. Its in your hands, but killing yourself for someone else is not a good reason to go. What about you, what do you like apart from her?
Faraway1990
Student
- Jun 2, 2019
- 195
I understand this slightly different but I understand the feelings. Love and peace friend hope you find whatever that is for you. <3
i don't want to trouble you, it's just one idea that came to me when i was in a similar situation. when i want to ctb it is something that only concerns myself. nobody else. it is my decision. the same as others don't have the rigth to decide for me or to manipulate me, the same i don't have the rigt to decide for them or to manipulate them or their lifes. for example, once i wanted to ctb but as my car didn't work i needed help from a friend. committing s just after my friend helped me with my car would have brought him in a difficult situation. so far that perhaps he would think after that he has some kind of responsability as he helped me to get what i needed to ctb (the car in this moment). i don't have the right to judge your feelings or the relationship you have with this friend. but in a context of cause and effect and assuming the right of self determination, think about what consecuences it will have for her if you send your last message to her in a context of love, ex love and so on. perhaps you will implicate her in something you don't want to or she doesnt want to. it could be that she will see your ctb as her responsability. she could be in a difficult situation then.(she still can feel responsible without massege, seen the history and relationship you had) in my case i tried to avoid this because i didn't want to force my car helping friend in a sitation he didn't cause. ctb itself is in my opinion ones own decision independently from what others did or do. (it sure can be a consecuence of what others did or do but to ctb creates a new situation and is in itself an act that causes (mostly) consecuendces, the act to ctb itself is your own act and in this sense independent from what others did or do (sorry logic and philosophy are sometimes difficult to explain))
i don't want to say what you should or shouldn't do. i just wanted to show one possible point of view in such a situation. good luck and may peace in life or where ever be with you and with us all.
Oblivion
Wizard
- Aug 2, 2018
- 629
if that's your only reason for suicide then (sorry for this) you're an ^@%^#@
give yourself time, few years from now you'd be laughing at how you wanted to die now, and no, your love is not different or more intense, everyone likes to believe so but its always the same, youre not special, your love is not special, get over it
I said she was one of the reasons lol. I just wanted her to be the last person i talked to because she was the only person who ever seemed to legitimately care about me and i could talk to about my depression. You're right i'm not special in anyway. i'm sorry for making you upset at me.
GeorgeJL
Enlightened
- Mar 7, 2019
- 1,621
I am not convinced that shooting yourself is painless because there will be cells left with oxygen, blood, and neurotransmitters. Pain is not only processed by a module in the brain but also pain is localized in each cell.
What It's Like to Get Shot in the Head
"Did you feel pain? Oh yeah. A lot of pain."
www.vice.com/en_us/article/gqm4yq/what-its-like-to-get-shot-in-the-head
Proceed at your own risk.
What It's Like to Get Shot in the Head
"Did you feel pain? Oh yeah. A lot of pain."
www.vice.com/en_us/article/gqm4yq/what-its-like-to-get-shot-in-the-head
Proceed at your own risk.
Faraway1990
Student
- Jun 2, 2019
- 195
Don't worry bud nothing to apologize for, I know what it's like to feel this way and no one no one has the right to diminish what you are feeling we get enough of that from "professionals" how about phoning her? Then say goodbye chuck your phone away? I hope things go the way you want and find peace in whatever way you need.
Pain isn't a big deal for me as long as I've shot in the right place and I'm dying. Aim for the brain stem and lights out pretty fast
Oblivion
Wizard
- Aug 2, 2018
- 629
i don't want to trouble you, it's just one idea that came to me when i was in a similar situation. when i want to ctb it is something that only concerns myself. nobody else. it is my decision. the same as others don't have the rigth to decide for me or to manipulate me, the same i don't have the rigt to decide for them or to manipulate them or their lifes. for example, once i wanted to ctb but as my car didn't work i needed help from a friend. committing s just after my friend helped me with my car would have brought him in a difficult situation. so far that perhaps he would think after that he has some kind of responsability as he helped me to get what i needed to ctb (the car in this moment). i don't have the right to judge your feelings or the relationship you have with this friend. but in a context of cause and effect and assuming the right of self determination, think about what consecuences it will have for her if you send your last message to her in a context of love, ex love and so on. perhaps you will implicate her in something you don't want to or she doesnt want to. it could be that she will see your ctb as her responsability. she could be in a difficult situation then.(she still can feel responsible without massege, seen the history and relationship you had) in my case i tried to avoid this because i didn't want to force my car helping friend in a sitation he didn't cause. ctb itself is in my opinion ones own decision independently from what others did or do. (it sure can be a consecuence of what others did or do but to ctb creates a new situation and is in itself an act that causes (mostly) consecuendces, the act to ctb itself is your own act and in this sense independent from what others did or do (sorry logic and philosophy are sometimes difficult to explain))
i don't want to say what you should or shouldn't do. i just wanted to show one possible point of view in such a situation. good luck and may peace in life or where ever be with you and with us all.
i think perhaps i should add something to what i wrote above. i don't want to say that we shouldn't say anything. we can write letters that people can read after our busride. the difference to a instant msg is, that people are able to decide wether they read it or not. when they find the letter they yet know what it is about as we already are gone. an instant msg is read without knowing what is in it and it can shock people and the most important: they can not decide if and when they read the letter/msg. have a good they all
