need help for CTB

[CursedSoul]

hey all, i'm new here.

i'm looking for ways to CTB easely and very lethally. I live with my parents and i have over 15 suicidal tries, but so far i haven't come succesfull (tried hydrogen sulfide, didn't work, tried hanging myself multiple times, cuts, strangulations, suffocation, carbon monoxyde, overdose, poisoning, etc...) absolutely nothing works.

i'm on a suicidal watchlist, and can't buy meds. My parents also verify my packages to be sure there's nothing dangerous in there, so yeah.

anything i could do ? i don't have a car and i have limited money.

i tried hanging with a type of scratch belt, but idk what i'm doing wrong, but the attachment always leave some extra space. I don't think i can have another belt to hang myself. I'm doing the door system as i really can't hang it on anything else.

I have very alert parents, it's impossible to get meds, and dangerous packages like exit bags, i also live in europe, so me being on a watchlist, i can't get a gun.

Please help me end this curse, thanks for reading.

 

[befree]

Hi.

PPeH_April_2022.pdf - AnonFiles

anonfiles.com

CO method Fliesenbourg English.pdf - AnonFiles

anonfiles.com

Five Last Acts (2015).pdf - AnonFiles

anonfiles.com

Guide to a Humane Self-Chosen Death 2009 (Admiraal Pieter) (z-lib.org).epub - AnonFiles

anonfiles.com

I have more books, but they are in dutch and german. If you don´t have much money, the carotid method with tourniquet, carbon monoxid with barbeque, SN, helium / nitrogen might be options. But since your parents are watching you, it will be difficult to receive packages with the required equipment. MBE (Mailboxes etc) or a postbox might be an idea. Also you would have to find a place where nobody would disturb you.

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

The resources thread, pinned at the top of these forums, has many good links:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/suicide-resource-compilation.3/

 

[CursedSoul]

hey all, i'm new here.

i'm looking for ways to CTB easely and very lethally. I live with my parents and i have over 15 suicidal tries, but so far i haven't come succesfull (tried hydrogen sulfide, didn't work, tried hanging myself multiple times, cuts, strangulations, suffocation, carbon monoxyde, overdose, poisoning, etc...) absolutely nothing works.

i'm on a suicidal watchlist, and can't buy meds. My parents also verify my packages to be sure there's nothing dangerous in there, so yeah.

anything i could do ? i don't have a car and i have limited money.

i tried hanging with a type of scratch belt, but idk what i'm doing wrong, but the attachment always leave some extra space. I don't think i can have another belt to hang myself. I'm doing the door system as i really can't hang it on anything else.

I have very alert parents, it's impossible to get meds, and dangerous packages like exit bags, i also live in europe, so me being on a watchlist, i can't get a gun.

Please help me end this curse, thanks for reading.

thanks, very usefull, do you have by any chances reliable sources to get my hands on a shotgun ? it would be my favorite way to go. But with all of that, i got time to study and find out, thanks alot !

The resources thread, pinned at the top of these forums, has many good links:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/suicide-resource-compilation.3/

thanks ! sadly i already checked a bunch, but i don't really know what could be the best one.

 

[FuneralCry]

As mentioned above, all that I plan to do is make use of the resources. Suicide really is so difficult and I think that if it was easier to leave, I would already be gone. I'm sorry that you have went through so many failed attempts. It sounds horrible what you have had to endure.

I am personally trapped in this world because of the fear of failure and limited access to methods. To me it is terrible how we live in a world where we are denied peaceful ways to exit. I understand the frustration of feeling like you are unable to ctb. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

 

[CursedSoul]

thank you for your message, i really hope you will find a way out, ive been ironically told to find god, i mean, i'm not critizing, judging or anything, but it's really hard not to hate a being in my personnal opinion, makes my life hell without rest, the more i wait, the more worse it gets. I'm planning to get my hand on 3g of Fentanyl, ask the seller to make it pass like something innocent, and overdose on it, i also heard it's a very nice death. Wish everyone on this website to succeed, or to get better if they can't/don't really want to die, i love you all <3

as to the feeling of failing 15 times, people have the audacity to tell you "well if you would have wanted to, you would have died" EVEN MEDICAL PROFESSIONNALS ! it feels horrible, you feel cursed, hopeless, see it as being trapped somewhere for eternity, but the place is full on fire, and you can't die, it's as painful for me (highest depression, suicidal tendencies/PTSD, borderline personality disorder, etc... My life is living hell, and nobody gives a shit, i mean good, at least i'l barely make anyone sad. I'l gladly talk with anyone that wishes to in DM, any questions, advices etc... Ive gotten so much informations, and i will gladly help/talk with other members, this is ironically the most kindness ive been oferred in a long time, thanks to the current and potential future help :) <3