Help Need advice on a shitty situation

[rosewood]

So uhh this is my first post so sorry if i type or word this awkwardly. Anyways, 2 months ago my mom kicked me out to go and live with my dad. Ive figured she was gonna end up kicking me out for the past year or so. I was actually pretty excited to get to see more of my dad and his side of the family because i rarely see like ever. But about a week after i went back to her house to pick up some papers for school and she ended up forcing me to stay and ive been here since. When i was over there, i actually pretty happy and felt good for the first time in probably years cuz ive been depressed and have had suicidal thoughts since i was probably 10 or 11. So basically ive just been trying to work up the courage to tell her i wanna move back but everytime i even talk to her i just shutdown completely. Shes not a bad mother, at least she tries but i think that shes either bi polar or schizophrenic which makes her be sort of emotionally abusive to me, even tho she might not mean it. Shes also very controlling and is always talking about how my cousins and dad are out to get us. One more thing my brother is just a complete piece of shit and is constantly at my throat and i cant do anything about it. ANYWAYS i went off point kindaa but i still need to vent later maybe. The point is tho, does anyone have any advice for what i can do to get outta here and maybe have a chance at being happy? if i dont get out of this shit by like next month ill probably just kill myself or do suicide by cop after getting fucked up on whatever drugs or alcohol i can get. (again sorry if this is all over the place im kinda fucked :<

 

[Johnnythefox]

I would advise that you leave and return to your father if it's going to help you. Can you not go to his after school, and explain to him how you are feeling?

Sometimes we have to be selfish in life and do what is best for us and not for others.

 

[15dec]

I agree with Johnny, is there any way you can go to your dad's without your mum knowing to explain the situation to him or hopefully stay with him? You need to do what's best for you, sending hugs

 

[TiredHorse]

if i dont get out of this shit by like next month ill probably just kill myself or do suicide by cop after getting fucked up on whatever drugs or alcohol i can get.

If you take this sentence to your school, I suspect they will be very attentive to helping you escape your mother's house.

You have a rough road ahead of you, because I suspect this will eventually involve a whole bunch more authorities than you would find ideal, but you have recognized a way to improve your life to where you want to live. Do not lose sight of that. Cops, CPS, the school authority, lawyers (heaven help you), they're all a real drag, but you know that there's a way out. Take that way out.

 

[Final Escape]

Like everyone says, you should get out of there and go back to dad's. I probably wouldn't say anything, just sneak out. Probably talk to your dad about what's going on first privately. I've had to sneak out of my mom's place before. I was losing my mind I had to leave. I guess I felt guilty but I was trying to avoid having to have a nasty confrontation and questions.

 

[Empty Smile]

If being at your dad's makes you happy, and it's easing the thoughts of suicide. I would go for it.

Everyone here has given you good advice.

 

[Arbie]

So uhh this is my first post so sorry if i type or word this awkwardly

Welcome! Don't feel the need to apologize for anything while your here....writing is good for the soul, don't worry about how the words tumble out.