Help Need advice all help welcome

[ewigeruhe]

I need a bit of advice from you guys. So a month ago i applied for neetbux at my local jobcenter (germany). The journey there as well as the process stressed me out to a great extent.
Afterwards i was totally exhausted and the demands made by them (contact my previous employer for certification and proof by my Dr. about my heart condition) pulled me down even further.
Since then i am in a pit of despair and hopelessness. I have had a few attempts to CTB since then via partial but didn't succeed obviously. They are sending me letters on mass. I think the last ten i didn't even open anymore and one appointment i ignored also already because i feel just despair. Apparently i have another appointment tomorrow and i don't thinki can bring myself to go and i am thinking about writing them an e-mail to ask to remove my application and to not bother me anymore. I have about 5k € left which will last me 3 months maybe and i hope to be able to CTB before that but given my many unsuccessful attempts i am looking with fear into my future.
What should i do? Can you guys give me any advise on this?

 

[Ethereal Knight]

you didn't mention if you want help to get over this situation, resolve the problems and recover from this, or help with a method for CTB. which one is it that you want help with?

 

[potablewater784]

That sounds like a really difficult situation. I think it's kind of risky to decide not to go, because what might happen if you end up not ctbing? If I were you, I would really try to get myself to go to that appointment. I know that that's hard to do sometimes, but I don't want you want to feel pressured to ctb (like you might if you have no income)

 

[ewigeruhe]

you didn't mention if you want help to get over this situation, resolve the problems and recover from this, or help with a method for CTB. which one is it that you want help with?

Sorry if my ramblings are a bit incoherent i am pretty determined to CTB whatever i do and the financial help i would recieve from the job center would only buy me more time to have a successful attempt. I would like to know if i should even bother with them or just emrace my fate.
Thank you for your reply.

That sounds like a really difficult situation. I think it's kind of risky to decide not to go, because what might happen if you end up not ctbing? If I were you, I would really try to get myself to go to that appointment. I know that that's hard to do sometimes, but I don't want you want to feel pressured to ctb (like you might if you have no income)

I thought about that also but maybe the despair and pressure will give me the strength to finally CTB. I really want this nightmare to end.

 

[potablewater784]

I thought about that also but maybe the despair and pressure will give me the strength to finally CTB. I really want this nightmare to end.

Ah that makes sense. In that case, it might be a good idea; truth is I'm not very sure. I hope you find peace

 

[ewigeruhe]

Ah that makes sense. In that case, it might be a good idea; truth is I'm not very sure. I hope you find peace

Thank you!

 

[rationaltake]

Sadly money is always useful. Even when it comes to ctb. I've been in a similar position and I made myself do what was necessary. I ended up being grateful for the financial assistance.

I know how very hard it is. I was lucky enough to have a friend to help me.

Is there anybody who could go to the appointment with you?

If you really can't make it could you ring them and explain how stressed you are about it all and how it affected you last time you went there?

In my country it was possible to ask for a telephone interview if you were unable to go there in person.

Just some suggestions.

 

[ewigeruhe]

Sadly money is always useful. Even when it comes to ctb. I've been in a similar position and I made myself do what was necessary. I ended up being grateful for the financial assistance.

I know how very hard it is. I was lucky enough to have a friend to help me.

Is there anybody who could go to the appointment with you?

If you really can't make it could you ring them and explain how stressed you are about it all and how it affected you last time you went there?

In my country it was possible to ask for a telephone interview if you were unable to go there in person.

Just some suggestions.

Thank you for the advice i really appreciate it. Sadly i am totally alone i don't even speak with my parents and they are loving and caring.
I just feel trapped so deep in a pit that i can't see a practical solution for this. I think i will just ignore it and hope the pressure will finally be enough to go through with CTB.

 

[rationaltake]

Thank you for the advice i really appreciate it. Sadly i am totally alone i don't even speak with my parents and they are loving and caring.
I just feel trapped so deep in a pit that i can't see a practical solution for this. I think i will just ignore it and hope the pressure will finally be enough to go through with CTB.

I do understand and I'm so sorry you're in this position. I know what it's like when everything is an effort.

Are there any charities or advice centres who can help you with your claim?

Is there no chance of asking your parents for help with your claim?

Feel free to ignore me if this isn't what you want to hear.

 

[ewigeruhe]

I do understand and I'm so sorry you're in this position. I know what it's like when everything is an effort.

Are there any charities or advice centres who can help you with your claim?

Is there no chance of asking your parents for help with your claim?

Feel free to ignore me if this isn't what you want to hear.

There certainly are orgs that do that kind of thing and my parents would also help me with anything but somehow i feel i don't want to burden them with my problems.
In addition to that i've made up my mind in regards to CTB a long time ago and can't find a single reason why i should go through this only to continue my suffering.
In hindsight i think it was a mistake that i went there in the first place.
Thank you for your kind help!

 

[WanderingWater]

Humble Opinion:

Always do the next "right" thing when in doubt. The "what*if's" will drive you crazy.

 

[Hope:-)]

Sorry for you situation. Set yourself a goal regarding it each day Goal number one is open the letters. I don't mind being on chat with you while you do it as I know how daunting it can be. It will be hard to know what to do next until you open the letters x

 

[ewigeruhe]

Humble Opinion:

Always do the next "right" thing when in doubt. The "what*if's" will drive you crazy.

I get you totally my problem is rather to know what is right for me in this moment but thank you regardless!

Sorry for you situation. Set yourself a goal regarding it each day Goal number one is open the letters. I don't mind being on chat with you while you do it as I know how daunting it can be. It will be hard to know what to do next until you open the letters x

I always had problems with this kind of things like setting goals and such thank you for your advice and offer!
Since most of you have suggested to atleast try it and see what comes out of it i will do my best to gather all my strength that i have left to get myself to the appointment tomorrow. I will keep you updated regardless if i go or not.

Thank you all! Your help and advice means a lot to me.

 

[ewigeruhe]

Update: I didn't go to the appointment again and i feel like i have betrayed not only myself but also you guys i am sorry. I got really drunk last night maybe intentional to avoid facing my fears and the stress. I am still kind of hungover now but it's not too bad.
I think giving up completely now is the best thing i can do even though it's a terribly stupid idea. As i know myself stupid ideas and decisions are my forte so there is that.
I am sorry.

 

[Hope:-)]

Where do you live? You can get support workers for this kind of thing. If you're UK visit your doctor, tell them you struggle to do this kind of thing and ask fo a support worker. You haven't betrayed any of us. x

 

[ewigeruhe]

Where do you live? You can get support workers for this kind of thing. If you're UK visit your doctor, tell them you struggle to do this kind of thing and ask fo a support worker. You haven't betrayed any of us. x

Thank you for your support and advice but i can't bring myself to do anything anymore. My only hope is that i can use my despair now to finally ctb.

 

[Hope:-)]

It's terrible that you've been left on your own to do this.x