Need a way to get past that point of no return

[Downandgone]

At the middle of November I hit crisis point due to many reasons, and reached a complete breakdown at the start of January. I took it on my self to step out of the family home to get my head back. 2 days later my wife refused to let me go back or even see my family. I suffered 30yrs chronic depression, now I'm also suffering dangerous levels of reactionary depression.

I have tried multiple time to jump from a bridge but its that last bit that I cannot do. I have croached holding the railings ready to push off but I can't. There is a shallow river at the base and a good 50m+ drop. The gravity feels so strong and the sound of the water is terrifying.

Any thoughts for how I can get past this.

 

[akrasia]

Welcome to the forum! I hope you enjoy your time here. I'm sorry for the pain you're dealing with. It's survival instinct that's preventing you from jumping. It could also mean that you're not ready yet, and that's okay.
It's truly unfair that your wife won't let you see your family. Have you talked to her about it? Maybe sort out any problems you guys have?

 

[Downandgone]

My wife is a domestic abuser and using the children against me. I am better gone and need to finish it properly. I am only self destructive so no one else is at risk.

My children will get a proper dad once I am gone. She has enabled an order to stop us talking. I have no say in anything and my wife has made sure I am not part of the family. Its my time to go. I cannot cope anymore.

 

[tc15]

have you thought of gun method?

 

[Downandgone]

In the UK, you cannot get guns

 

[tc15]

what about hanging if done right you go unconscious within a few seconds you got to make sure nobody finds you to soon.
although im not saying do this i hope you can fix your issues without killing yourself but hanging is a known method its what
im thinking about doing

 

[Downandgone]

My brother did this 20 months ago. I am looking at it as another way out but prefer to jump

 

[tc15]

My brother did this 20 months ago. I am looking at it as another way out but prefer to jump

your brother passed due to hanging? Im sorry to hear that
also about you being afraid i dont know what your beliefs are but i believe we all go to a better place that we are all one
that would help when pulling the trigger on it.

 

[darkhorse256]

I wish I could jump too. I've been at the ledge of buildings before but I could never jump because of how I know my death will affect my loved ones. Honestly, they are the only things holding me back. I don't think this life is worth living and I'd rather just end it. If only I could just not care about people, perhaps it would be easier for me to jump.

 

[tc15]

I love my family to but i feel like a complete failure a little back story on me.... I am 19 and my goal is to become a stock trader long story short i got the money i needed and was doing good and a few weeks ago i blew it all part of it was money given to me i dropped out of high school to do it and i failed my life now has no meaning i feel empty inside i feel its my time to go anyway i rather be dead then be here on this planet doing stuff i hate. There are other issues as well but i feel numb inside