D
Dreamcollege
Member
- Jul 17, 2018
- 98
I am a very risk averse person who has never even broken a bone, which is why this has been so hard for me. Life right now is just so unbearable that I've gotten into a habit of bingeing on Netflix or finding video games to play to numb out to how terrible my life is right now. But when I stop all the memories flood back in and I can't keep from screaming out silently. I've gotten to the point where I can't fall asleep anymore - I have to stay awake for over 18-20 hours until I literally pass out unconsciously.
I've tried simple suspension hanging dozens of times, but when I start to get dizzy I panic and get back on my knees. Sometimes I get really disoriented and have this intense panic like I've never experienced before. I really need help getting over the panic instinct. I've tried inhaling helium, but even then when I start to feel lightheaded I panic. I don't even have my head in the noose when I'm doing a practice run with helium and I panic when I feel the slightest bit lightheaded.
I have to find a method that is a no-turning-back method and isn't terrifying to do. For example jumping off a bridge is a no-turning-back method but I am terrified to jump. The only other thing I can think of that is quick enough to bypass my panic stage would be cyanide, but there is no way I can get a hold of that. I've thought about buying a lot of apples and crushing up the seeds since they contain cyanide, but apparently you have to eat hundreds of seeds all at once in order for it to work, and that just isn't physically possible.
I would do anything if somebody could recommend a no-turning-back method that isn't terrifying. Please, I'll do anything
I've tried simple suspension hanging dozens of times, but when I start to get dizzy I panic and get back on my knees. Sometimes I get really disoriented and have this intense panic like I've never experienced before. I really need help getting over the panic instinct. I've tried inhaling helium, but even then when I start to feel lightheaded I panic. I don't even have my head in the noose when I'm doing a practice run with helium and I panic when I feel the slightest bit lightheaded.
I have to find a method that is a no-turning-back method and isn't terrifying to do. For example jumping off a bridge is a no-turning-back method but I am terrified to jump. The only other thing I can think of that is quick enough to bypass my panic stage would be cyanide, but there is no way I can get a hold of that. I've thought about buying a lot of apples and crushing up the seeds since they contain cyanide, but apparently you have to eat hundreds of seeds all at once in order for it to work, and that just isn't physically possible.
I would do anything if somebody could recommend a no-turning-back method that isn't terrifying. Please, I'll do anything