It was brutal. I wonder why they just didn't pull the plug. I just figure from a practical standpoint, pretty expensive to keep someone alive with multiple suicide attempts and I just laid there. I was also told I attacked a nurse. The closer I came out of it, I began having vivid hallucinations. The nurse explained I was strapped down because I tried to grab a syringe to inject air into my IV. Needless to say, long trip to the psych ward after that one.
I had taken a combination of a barbiturate (soma), benzo (Xanax), another benzo (ambien), oxycodone, either thorazine or Seroquel, with a bottle of vodka. I'd been saving them up for months so I had bottles of it. Took handfuls, drank, more pills, drank. Didn't puke as I was a heavy drinker.
At that point, I was such a wreck I only had one friend and one family member. Both were mostly afraid I'd do it again. I felt like a total failure. Nowadays, I realize it was a failure because of poor planning. If someone can find you soon, it'll probably be a failure. I'd say had I been left alone just another hour or so, it would've worked.
About pain: if you meant physically, I felt no pain as I blacked out. Afterwards, I could barely walk. Mentally, I never felt that same hopelessness, like it killed off the ability to care. I've never felt the same type of gut wrenching spiral of hopelessness because it left me numb in many ways. Could be brain damage, I don't know honestly.
It is okay to feel afraid. Ctb is scary in of itself.