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turbomightbegone

turbomightbegone

🎣
Nov 13, 2023
198
i hate it if ucking hate it holy fucking SHIT
i hate being an indecisive piece of shit
drowning in my own bed day after day after day after day yet i still can't decide if I'll commit suicide before my mother manages to throw me out onto the streets with no support
it's every other day with this fucking woman
"I'll throw you out on the street"
"I'll get the police to drag you out"
"I'll call for help"
acting like the victim after you doomed my lifespan
im a grownass woman with the mentality of a fucking teenager while you're a shrivelled old bag that switches between treating me like a disobedient toddler and emotionally abusing me be so fucking fr
i wish I wasn't so mentally fucked so that I can actually get a job and leave your bitchass to ROT
I don't feel any guilt for "abusing" you as a child, like you and the rest of this fucking family claims. the only thing that can come close to pity for you is for me to feel just a bit morally wrong
my friend is right. I had every fucking right to defend myself against you. you and your fuckass sister literally used to threaten me having the whole family to get in a circle and beat me up until I fell unconscious. I was 11 and only got diagnosed with autism the year before you sick FUCK
you claim to wanting to change but still defend your family members after years of abuse
remember when your older daughter used to smash plates and give me bruises? or when your darling sister tried barging down my door to kill me with a knife? remember when YOU started forcing me to work nonstop on art to the point where it became unenjoyable?
remember when you blamed me for not being able to complete my GCSEs after YOU pulled me out of school.? yknow. after years of getting bullied and coming to you about it?
you still go on about that school today. using it as a fucking excuse
"you're not being bullied anymore" fuck off
I may have hated school but im like 90% sure that being trapped with you for several years and watching my own mental state devolve to the point where I can't stand any social or human interaction is worse
now im stuck between getting the courage to kms or dying on the streets after you throw me out
you KNOW I won't be able to get a job you KNOW this you KNOW I can't see people anymore
you talk about not wanting to die alone but you drive the few people in your life far away
even your dearest oldest daughter that you always adored for being able to live a life. ever since she's had that fuckass ugly baby you've been complaining about her not spending time with you
you crave attention from me but you treat me like a chained puppy I can't fucking stand it
disgusting old bag trying to remove and sniff my underwear while im asleep
I know you fucking do it I wake up sometimes to see you trying to do so
are you this fucking desperate
I not only have to deal with actively rotting away and doing nothing with my life but have to deal with your disgusting behaviour and the chance that you might be devolving into fucking emotional incest
I love the fact that im starting to forgetting your face but something deep down finds some sort of childish comfort in it and it disgusts me
you filthy piece of shit
why do you even bother with the mental health shit. you're gonna let me rot in the streets anyway what's the fucking point
I don't think I want to die but I NEED to die
you're lucky im such a coward otherwise I would've done it ages ago
im not giving you the fucking satisfaction of watching me decompose out in the cold
you can go die cold and alone in the dark for all I fucking care
you don't deserve to have the attention and comfort you so desperately seek out of everyone
god i just want to die in my sleep already i hate si and pain
can my body just collapse so that my fuckass mother can find me rotting into my mattress while the flies buzz around my filthy remains
I want my corpse to scar her forever
 

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Irisse

Irisse

Art belongs to Maksn (on yt)
Sep 8, 2025
96
Your mother sounds like a narcissist. Something tells me that even with all of her threats, she won't really kick you out, because then she'll have no one to scapegoat. I'm sorry that you went through all that. But you need to get away from her ASAP. I totally understand wanting to die because of her but is that the only reason? She might make your death all about herself. From what I understand you didn't finish high school. Is there a possibility of getting a GED (maybe if you play by her cards for a while she'll let you do it)? Why do you think you can't get a job (I understand not wanting to work in this capitalist hellscape but again it might give you a way to get away from your family)? I'm pro choice but maybe your life improves once you get away from her and then you might be happier? If you want to die even with that possibility I totally understand, though. I'm sorry if this sounds insensitive of pro lifeish, I just think that one should approach all opportunities before ctbing. In any case I wish that you find peace, no matter what you decide.
 
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