Discussion Nature or nurture

[Johnnythefox]

How many experienced abuse from a parent in their early years? I was subjected to physical, verbal, emotional and psychological abuse that continued into adulthood,this was from the father. My siblings would hide me from him,the most notable one being hid in a coal bunker as a kid. I've recently concluded that I am most likely suffering from PTSD.

 

[bigj75]

Abusive parents are one of the #1 causes of depression/suicide.

Parents abusing innocent children makes me lose all hope in the world. Makes me believe survival of the fittest is all that matters. Family, friends,etc it's all bullshit. Kill or be killed is all that matters. If people are capable of harming you they will try regardless of rationality/logic. Children are easiest targets so that's why they get abused so often. I've seen it so many times.

 

[NoDream]

Yes, I have CPTSD bc of it. Mother is a sadistic Narcissist and Dad very violent, Sis also became a Narcissist.

Allways wonder what type of person i would have been if my upbringing had been normal?

 

[rabid_squirrel]

I think it's a combination of both.
I also have abusive parents,my brother has turned to drugs and gamble,he is also a womanizer,he inflicts the pain he feels on others,while I prefer to just suffer myself.
I used to hate my mother very much,but I don't anymore.It's too exhausting to carry so much hatred and resentment in life.
People say what doesn't destroy you makes you stronger.Maybe had I been stronger,I could have turned all this into strength.idk,After all,there are many people who have abusive parents,they turned out fine.

 

[Rose]

I have to agree with rabid_squirrel here, one issue that if nurture is bad, that means you had bad chances with nature from the start statistically. Both of my parents suffer from mental illness, so I suffer from a mental illness, and (with many possible exceptions, I was unlucky here) their mental illnesses had an adverse effect on my nurture. I was all but neglected by my parents (In favour of making sure my sibling was taken care of) until later it turned into emotional & verbal abuse very rarely crossing the line to physical, and I became the family scapegoat
That said, during all this my sibling was welcome to do whatever they liked to me, which usually consisted of violent acts & getting me punished for things I hadn't done. Not sure if that would fit your parameters.
Anyway, my thoughts are that both have an effect, and feed into eachother, but one or the other can be enough on it's own to be too much. It's all subjective and a matter of "luck" with genetics & situations

 

[bigj75]

I have to agree with rabid_squirrel here, one issue that if nurture is bad, that means you had bad chances with nature from the start statistically. Both of my parents suffer from mental illness, so I suffer from a mental illness, and (with many possible exceptions, I was unlucky here) their mental illnesses had an adverse effect on my nurture. I was all but neglected by my parents (In favour of making sure my sibling was taken care of) until later it turned into emotional & verbal abuse very rarely crossing the line to physical, and I became the family scapegoat
That said, during all this my sibling was welcome to do whatever they liked to me, which usually consisted of violent acts & getting me punished for things I hadn't done. Not sure if that would fit your parameters.
Anyway, my thoughts are that both have an effect, and feed into eachother, but one or the other can be enough on it's own to be too much. It's all subjective and a matter of "luck" with genetics & situations

perfect

 

[brighter]

I always remember having a sad childhood but I can't blame that all on my parents. Something inside me was just stopping me from finding enough happiness to love life.

So I think it starts with nature and nurture is what pushes you over.

 

[EddieAllenPoe]

My dad scared the living shit out of me when I was younger. I never knew what kind of mood he'd be in. I've often felt as if this caused my severe mood swings in my 20s. That was hell to go through. Now I'm still a little bipolar and I think there's a genetic component to my mood changes. Over time, my mood swings have slowed down and "evened out" a little and I don't really feel as angry about the "abuse" I suffered as a child. I only put "abuse" in quotes, because I don't really see what I went through as so bad now. I don't think my dad could have helped it either, he was doing things the best he knew how. When I was kid though, it was a scary nightmare.