Narcisstic abuse (rant)

[Manfrotto99]

I finally recorded my father and his golden child daughter, my sister behind their back. What I heard shocked me to my very core. Extreme narcissistic rage, anger, vindictiveness, deciept, lies, manipulation, evil intentions, all aimed and targeted at me.

I knew it was going on, but no where near the extent that I heard. These people fabricate lies and damaging stories in their heads to put themselves up, whilst believing they are righteous and good. They fool everyone around them and have turned family members and friends against me. Even my father goes to church every Sunday and all thinks he and my sister are good Christians. Yet I have never heard such malicious evil words spoken against another behind their backs, other than in movies and this was directed at me by my only family. I did not do anything to deserve it, other than be a human being.

I've known this has gone on all all my life, but not to this extent. I've always been sucked into believing their lies, blaming myself for being useless, worthless and never good enough no matter what. I believe that I deserve to be alone and all the bad things that happen to me, because as they say, I am a very bad dangerous person who causes trouble for others. I have always had such incredibly low self esteem that everything I've done has been a huge struggle and Ive always fallen short. Self sabotaging everything by telling myself I am not good enough and dont deserve anything good or to succeed. I get sucked into believing the words they speak against me. Even now that so much makes sense, I stll hear myself repeating their lies and ugly words against myself, in my head.

I live with my father, I am ment to be his carer. I rely on the allowance to survive. Now my sister wants to leave her work and get the allowence. They plan to threaten me with elderly abuse so they can get me out the way. I know I must leave but I have no where to go. I cannot give her the pleasure of seeing me in the Street. I have no other money and no support. Im torn right down to my very core, Im so weak, tierd and vulnerable. I cannot think clearly but I wont give my sister the pleasure of seeing me homeless, she says this is what she wants. I would rather cbt than give her that, staying alive only for the sake of it, knowing she is bloating over her victory.

I know this is extreme and a lot of people are stronger and wiser than me and do manage to escape, but I wonder how many others are on here because of narcissistic abuse from their family and those they should have been able to trust? I hear so many people on here put themselves down all the time. Yet now I know that some people, even our own families can harbour such evil intentions in thier hearts and minds, so as to inflict psychological and spiritual damage and pain on us, whilst truly believing and fooling others they are good.

How many people have been sucked into believing lies that they are bad people and don't deserve to live? How many people whose lives have been directed and led astray by others evil manipulations and inentions? How many people who have had to carry the scars, depression, pain, anguish of family abuse while their enemies gloat and claim their victory. How many who have never been allowed to fall short and be just be human and loved for who they are, imperfections and all ?

 

[lauretta]

hi i am a victim of a narcissist who makes me believe i am the narcissist. it is terrible and i know how you feel. i will never recover. wounds too deep and i am always here being humiliated. i am just finding a way to die without suffering so i dont have to suffer this abuse anymore

 

[cherries.in.nyc]

I am so sorry this is happening to you. I am a victim of narcissistic abuse by my boss and it is so damaging. they are such parasites and deeply insecure people

 

[Jorvak]

The moment i heard you describe how they think of themselves as "good christians", that alone gives a really solid clue of what's going on here.

Christianity, especially of any conservative branch, such as evangelic christianity, tends to turn people into raging chauvinist filled with all manner of prejudiced generalizations about different groups they deem 'sinful'. It is a truly disgraceful religion that encourages its adherents to put themselves on a false pedastal of superiority with pure chauvinism and hubris, where they blame victims for their own suffering, where suffering is "gods plan" but yet simultaneously also blamed on the people dealing with it (which is contradictory). They'll use this line of reasoning to stubbornly refuse to consider the wide range of external and psychological circumstances outside of peoples control that cause them to be highly stressed and in a bad state, except until 'they' themselves or a loved one is stressed.

This is also a primary motivation why conservative christians will adopt a wide range of highly prejudiced views towards non-believers, LGBTQ folk, neurodivergent folk, mental disabilities, and on POC in general. They blame their differences and issues on 'sin', which is a sickening analysis deeply lacking in any semblance of basic logic, humanity or compassion. They fundamentally refuse to understand neurodivergent people or mental struggles, because their religion disgustingly teaches them to blame people with neurodivergent conditions or mentally ill individuals for their own suffering, not the way their brain is wired, how they are treated, or the conditions or circumstances they exist in. They also use the same disgusting form of theology to form racist prejudices to judge entire populations as being "morally corrupt" when they have different customs that are viewed as "sinful" according to their rigid doctrines.

In short, I surmise they are using their highly prejudiced theological reasoning to suggest that you are at fault for everything you have ever suffered in your life and to blame you for everything that goes wrong in their own life. It is not a mentality that is conducive to compassion or concern for others. it's abhorrent.

But with that said, I doubt their primary reason for despising you is even theological, but that's just the justification they use on the surface. They want to use you, exploit whatever services they can out of you, and treat you as a punching bag for their own issues. They are narcissist who happen to use their religion to feel superior over you, exploit you and abuse you. they are sick people and you are in a horrible cirumstance.

having witnessed christian chauvinism and all the prejudices that come with it first hand growing up as an autistic person - not just from my narcissistic religious mother, but seeing these mentalities fester in church settings and used to judge anyone else who was different, it absolutely disgusted me to no end, and that was long before i was ever diagnosed.

It really upsets me that you have to live with such awful people. I sincerely hope you can find a better living condition in the near future ASAP.

hi i am a victim of a narcissist who makes me believe i am the narcissist. it is terrible and i know how you feel. i will never recover. wounds too deep and i am always here being humiliated. i am just finding a way to die without suffering so i dont have to suffer this abuse anymore

My mother is a covert narcissist who would use her christian religion to justify her pathetic behavior. She would objectify peoples mental conditions and generalize them to erase individual humanity out of people, like she did and still does with my autism diagnosis for example. She always blames other people for her own mistakes, and she does this by keeping a "record of ancient wrongs" to hold against people whenever there is even a smidgen of expectation for her to take responsibility for something bad she does in the moment. She would always use religious platitudes to justify her behavior and to attempt to over rule any thought anyone has against her crap. not that it ever actually works to her benefit, because she always looks the fool to anyone who knows her, but it has never stopped her before from doing this for decades. It was infuriating behavior to deal with growing up, but fortunately my dad is a much more reasonable person. he would stand up against that crap whenever it happened, get her to stop doing it to me and my siblings, and wouldn't put up with it himself.

My mother is a terrible person who puts on an act of "caring", but really only cares about what serves her interest. anything nice she does is not out of genuine concern for others, but for her own ego and to maintain her pathetic illusion that "shes a good mother". I believe that a mix of me being both autistic and dealing with a religious narcissist mother growing up made me extremely unprepared for an adult life. The extensive bullying and social ostracism i dealt with during my childhood just turned into a jaded mentality about even participating in society to begin with, such as forming an actual career. Why participate in a society that consistently reproduces generations of sociopathic kids who learn to bully and judge others who are different, and impose oppressive conditions for so many billions of people around the world?

 

[Manfrotto99]

hi i am a victim of a narcissist who makes me believe i am the narcissist. it is terrible and i know how you feel. i will never recover. wounds too deep and i am always here being humiliated. i am just finding a way to die without suffering so i dont have to suffer this

The moment i heard you describe how they think of themselves as "good christians", that alone gives a really solid clue of what's going on here.

Christianity, especially of any conservative branch, such as evangelic christianity, tends to turn people into raging chauvinist filled with all manner of prejudiced generalizations about different groups they deem 'sinful'. It is a truly disgraceful religion that encourages its adherents to put themselves on a false pedastal of superiority with pure chauvinism and hubris, where they blame victims for their own suffering, where suffering is "gods plan" but yet simultaneously also blamed on the people dealing with it (which is contradictory). They'll use this line of reasoning to stubbornly refuse to consider the wide range of external and psychological circumstances outside of peoples control that cause them to be highly stressed and in a bad state, except until 'they' themselves or a loved one is stressed.

This is also a primary motivation why conservative christians will adopt a wide range of highly prejudiced views towards non-believers, LGBTQ folk, neurodivergent folk, mental disabilities, and on POC in general. They blame their differences and issues on 'sin', which is a sickening analysis deeply lacking in any semblance of basic logic, humanity or compassion. They fundamentally refuse to understand neurodivergent people or mental struggles, because their religion disgustingly teaches them to blame people with neurodivergent conditions or mentally ill individuals for their own suffering, not the way their brain is wired, how they are treated, or the conditions or circumstances they exist in. They also use the same disgusting form of theology to form racist prejudices to judge entire populations as being "morally corrupt" when they have different customs that are viewed as "sinful" according to their rigid doctrines.

In short, I surmise they are using their highly prejudiced theological reasoning to suggest that you are at fault for everything you have ever suffered in your life and to blame you for everything that goes wrong in their own life. It is not a mentality that is conducive to compassion or concern for others. it's abhorrent.

But with that said, I doubt their primary reason for despising you is even theological, but that's just the justification they use on the surface. They want to use you, exploit whatever services they can out of you, and treat you as a punching bag for their own issues. They are narcissist who happen to use their religion to feel superior over you, exploit you and abuse you. they are sick people and you are in a horrible cirumstance.

having witnessed christian chauvinism and all the prejudices that come with it first hand growing up as an autistic person - not necessarily from my religious mother, but seeing these mentalities fester in church settings and used to judge anyone else who was different, it absolutely disgusted me to no end, and that was long before i was ever diagnosed.

It really upsets me that you have to live with such awful people. I sincerely hope you can find a better living condition in the near future ASAP.

My mother is a covert narcissist who would use her christian religion to justify her pathetic behavior. She would objectify peoples mental conditions and generalize them to erase individual humanity out of people, like she did and still does with my autism diagnosis for example. She always blames other people for her own mistakes, and she does this by keeping a "record of ancient wrongs" to hold against people whenever there is even a smidgen of expectation for her to take responsibility for something bad she does in the moment. She would always use religious platitudes to justify her behavior and to attempt to over rule any thought anyone has against her crap. not that it ever actually works to her benefit, because she always looks the fool to anyone who knows her, but it has never stopped her before from doing this for decades. It was infuriating behavior to deal with growing up, but fortunately my dad is a much more reasonable person. he would stand up against that crap whenever it happened, get her to stop doing it to me and my siblings, and wouldn't put up with it himself.

My mother is a terrible person who puts on an act of "caring", but really only cares about what serves her interest. anything nice she does is not out of genuine concern for others, but for her own ego and to maintain her pathetic illusion that "shes a good mother". I believe that a mix of me being both autistic and dealing with a religious narcissist mother growing up made me extremely unprepared for an adult life. The extensive bullying and social ostracism i dealt with during my childhood just turned into a jaded mentality about even participating in society to begin with, such as forming an actual career. Why participate in a society that consistently reproduces generations of sociopathic kids who learn to bully and judge others who are different, and impose oppressive conditions for so many billions of people around the world?

Religion in the hands of narcissists is so dangerous because it cuts us to the very core of our spirit and turns us against God. My parents where like that when I was growing up. I was always thinking I would be punished by God for the slightest thing so they could control me. It took me years to understand that it was them and had nothing to do with the God they pretended to follow. I am sorry you have had to do with a narcissistic mother while also having autism, they always seem to pick the vulnerable ones as targets

 

[Jorvak]

Religion in the hands of narcissists is so dangerous because it cuts us to the very core of our spirit and turns us against God. My parents where like that when I was growing up. I was always thinking I would be punished by God for the slightest thing so they could control me. It took me years to understand that it was them and had nothing to do with the God they pretended to follow. I am sorry you have had to do with a narcissistic mother while also having autism, they always seem to pick the vulnerable ones as targets

I'm not 'against god', i don't even believe there is a god that exist to begin with, to be against. My experiences with christians made me have a hatred for christian dogma and culture and the many prejudiced mentalities it reproduces. But My disbelief in all forms of gods and christianity in particular is separate from the reasons i despise christianity.

Dogmatic thinking and behavior, is something i oppose for both intellectual and ethical reasons. A belief built on a static notion of how reality works is not a belief i can adhere to for a few basic reasons. For one, I am an empiricist, i don't believe that you can make sweeping claims about how reality works from minimal evidence, the best you can do is slowly accumulate evidence and refine your conclusions as you obtain more empirical data.

Second, Many religions, including the Christian religion, try to claim that all forms of ethics derive from an all-powerful being, which is a view that simply makes no sense. there is no 'law of physics' to ethics that are somehow 'codified' in the universe. The evolution of Ethics is socio-cultural, in other words, they are social goals defined with certain social priorities in mind. If the social goal is to reduce as much harm among the general population as possible, that would likely lead to a utilitarian legal system for example.

If on the other hand the social goal is to maintain a class system based on the dominance of hereditary monarchs , then religion becomes a really useful tool for that, because you can then assign a specific 'all-powerful god' as a being which is the 'ultimate authority' on everything to do with ethics, which then asserts that monarchs are "chosen by god" by divine mandate, and so therefore anything a monarch does is part of "gods plan". Christianity depends on the assertion that "all ethics come from god" so that it can use it as an excuse to assert dominance over populations. It's a means of control, not a fundamental truth of the universe. it was also useful to control the various slave and peasant classes in ancient societies through it's simplistic and domineering dogma's.

Sorry for the length of my reply, i just felt i wanted to better clarify where I'm coming from here. I don't want my explanation of where i'm coming from to be thought of as an attack on your beliefs as they currently stand, as that's not at all the goal. This is just an authentic explanation of why i don't believe in any religion, with an extra focus on Christianity due to the context of the conversation. In the past, some religious folks have interpreted my explanation for why i think the way I do, as an attack on their beliefs. This comes across as an insecurity to me - as though my personal reasoning for the way i view things makes too much sense, so they immediately feel attacked as though its a fundamental challenge to their beliefs. Not that you are that way! I don't condemn all christians due to my bad experiences with so many of them, i handle it on a case by case basis. You seem like a genuine person who has suffered greatly, and i'm angered at those who have caused it.

dealing with Narcissist really suck!

 

[hereornot]

I have 40, with mom narcisistic and borderline (and a couple of other things). my brother os narcisistic too, but never gone to doctor.

My brother do the same, tell lies to our family all life long.

Im in a bad moment If my life, my brother steal from me and my mom is a bad person.

I dont find a reason to stay alive in this world with they. And o dont wanna live alone too. So the bus is a obvious way.

 

[Manfrotto99]

I'm not 'against god', i don't even believe there is a god that exist to begin with, to be against. My experiences with christians made me have a hatred for christian dogma and culture and the many prejudiced mentalities it reproduces. But My disbelief in all forms of gods and christianity in particular is separate from the reasons i despise christianity.

Dogmatic thinking and behavior, is something i oppose for both intellectual and ethical reasons. A belief built on a static notion of how reality works is not a belief i can adhere to for a few basic reasons. For one, I am an empiricist, i don't believe that you can make sweeping claims about how reality works from minimal evidence, the best you can do is slowly accumulate evidence and refine your conclusions as you obtain more empirical data.

Second, Many religions, including the Christian religion, try to claim that all forms of ethics derive from an all-powerful being, which is a view that simply makes no sense. there is no 'law of physics' to ethics that are somehow 'codified' in the universe. The evolution of Ethics is socio-cultural, in other words, they are social goals defined with certain social priorities in mind. If the social goal is to reduce as much harm among the general population as possible, that would likely lead to a utilitarian legal system for example.

If on the other hand the social goal is to maintain a class system based on the dominance of hereditary monarchs , then religion becomes a really useful tool for that, because you can then assign a specific 'all-powerful god' as a being which is the 'ultimate authority' on everything to do with ethics, which then asserts that monarchs are "chosen by god" by divine mandate, and so therefore anything a monarch does is part of "gods plan". Christianity depends on the assertion that "all ethics come from god" so that it can use it as an excuse to assert dominance over populations. It's a means of control, not a fundamental truth of the universe. it was also useful to control the various slave and peasant classes in ancient societies through it's simplistic and domineering dogma's.

Sorry for the length of my reply, i just felt i wanted to better clarify where I'm coming from here. I don't want my explanation of where i'm coming from to be thought of as an attack on your beliefs as they currently stand, as that's not at all the goal. This is just an authentic explanation of why i don't believe in any religion, with an extra focus on Christianity due to the context of the conversation. In the past, some religious folks have interpreted my explanation for why i think the way I do, as an attack on their beliefs. This comes across as an insecurity to me - as though my personal reasoning for the way i view things makes too much sense, so they immediately feel attacked as though its a fundamental challenge to their beliefs. Not that you are that way! I don't condemn all christians due to my bad experiences with so many of them, i handle it on a case by case basis. You seem like a genuine person who has suffered greatly, and i'm angered at those who have

Thank you for your explanation. I am glad you are not against God. It's hard not to be against God when Christianity and religion has been used as a tool for abuse, especially in our own familys against us. I don't understand and cannot justify my belief in God from a logical and rational point of view, especially not with what I am going through. I question how God can allow me to be in this situation, dependant financially on two abusive narcissists pretending to care and be nice to my face while spewing forth vile intentions and words against me every momment I walk out the door. They have no remorse and plot my downfall while fooling everyone including themselves they are good, righteous people. Still, I have my beliefs which are grounded on my own personal experiences with God and no one, not even my so called family can take that away from me.