N

noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,243
I hate some parts of my outer appearance. For example my teeth are quite ugly.
Though I am pretty happy about my weight. I think I have atypical anorexia. Due to past medication I could barely it anything without gaining weight. This was kind of a torture that lasted 1 year. I hope I won't need the medication anymore but it is not fully clear. I am scared. ( I wrote a thread once about it here in recovery,)

But for now I enjoy being able to eat more stuff without gaining weight.
I was very obese as a child and teenger. I was horribly bullied in school due to it. It left very deep scars that will never heal.

I am still eating mostly very healthy food. But sometimes I can allow myself to eat yummy unhealthy food. WIth this former medication this was impossible.

I could talk more about stuff I hate about my outer appearance. Though this is a recovery thread. Moreover I am a little bit scared this would make it easier to get doxxed. Though all in all I like my current outer appearance. But mentally I am a wreck.

Oh I should explain what atypical anorexia means. I am extremely obsessed by my weight. My therapist did not give me the diagnosis someone else once suspected it. I weigh myself roundabout 5-8 times a day. And the fact that I endured 1 year constant hunger to keep my weight low is quite telling. My weight is low but not underweight.

I had the thought of this thread like body positivity or general about outer appearance. I also have some things which are quite unnattractive. However I also mentioned the reasons why I won't go into detail.
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: waitingforrest, onlyanimalsaregood, Foresight and 1 other person
Marine

Marine

*~ 絶対に 全てを取り戻させてもらう ~*
Jul 5, 2020
678
Sorry about that but I'm so envious that you're able to control you weight as it's one of my biggest issues :ahhha: ED bias...

I used to be anorexic but bulimia ruined my body... Now I'm desperately trying to lose the weight again and get healthy skinny this time. 🙏

Can I ask what foods you eat normally ?

So if I must only mention positive things... I'm sometimes told that I'm cute... I have cute expressions and act like a cliché anime girl sometimes lol ? :ahhha:
 
N

noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,243
Sorry about that but I'm so envious that you're able to control you weight as it's one of my biggest issues :ahhha: ED bias...

I used to be anorexic but bulimia ruined my body... Now I'm desperately trying to lose the weight again and get healthy skinny this time. 🙏

Can I ask what foods you eat normally ?

So if I must only mention positive things... I'm sometimes told that I'm cute... I have cute expressions and act like a cliché anime girl sometimes lol ? :ahhha:
I eat a lot of expensive healthy food. I won't be able to do that due to coming poverty.
Something what is cheap and healthy are carrots.

My eating behavior is kind of sick. I am only eating like different 10 meals for lunch. I usually eat all almost the same in the evenings or mornings since several years. My family asks themselve how I do it. I don't know. I don't think too much about it. I think this is kind of OCD.

I really like mangos. No bread only bread rolls. (It is easier to stop eating them. Better portions.) I only drink coffee or water. Apples. Daily a lot of salads. A huge bowl.
Yeah I might ctb due to poverty. (Sorry it is not the right subforum.) I won't be able to spend half of the money for food in the future. My OCD/anorexia won't be happy about that. Lol

Oh and by the way. I stopped eating sweets completely since 10 years. I think there were like 10 days in the past 10 years when I ate them. During psychosis or birthdays.
 
Marine

Marine

*~ 絶対に 全てを取り戻させてもらう ~*
Jul 5, 2020
678
I eat a lot of expensive healthy food. I won't be able to do that due to coming poverty.
Something what is cheap and healthy are carrots.

My eating behavior is kind of sick. I am only eating like different 10 meals for lunch. I usually eat all almost the same in the evenings or mornings since several years. My family asks themselve how I do it. I don't know. I don't think too much about it. I think this is kind of OCD.

I really like mangos. No bread only bread rolls. (It is easier to stop eating them. Better portions.) I only drink coffee or water. Apples. Daily a lot of salads. A huge bowl.
Yeah I might ctb due to poverty. (Sorry it is not the right subforum.) I won't be able to spend half of the money for food in the future. My OCD/anorexia won't be happy about that. Lol

Oh and by the way. I stopped eating sweets completely since 10 years. I think there were like 10 days in the past 10 years when I ate them. During psychosis or birthdays.
I tend to eat a lot of the same safe stuff too whenever I'm able to restrict.

I wish I could eat healthy takeout like pokebowls and frozen yoghurt everyday too, that would make things so much easier...
What kind of expensive food do you like ?

I should start making salads again, you're right... I need to find ingredients that aren't overpriced...

Do you eat sweet things (not sweets) other than apples and mangos ? Like porridge or dried fruit for instance ?

I feel you about poverty, I'm sorry you also struggle with that. Is there no way you could get a better income or find cheaper stores ? Here it's come to the point where due tlo inflation food is now cheaper in organic stores than in regular supermarkets, and you can also find some cheap healthy food in places like Lidl, though I really don't like going there.
 
N

noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,243
I tend to eat a lot of the same safe stuff too whenever I'm able to restrict.

I wish I could eat healthy takeout like pokebowls and frozen yoghurt everyday too, that would make things so much easier...
What kind of expensive food do you like ?

I should start making salads again, you're right... I need to find ingredients that aren't overpriced...

Do you eat sweet things (not sweets) other than apples and mangos ? Like porridge or dried fruit for instance ?

I feel you about poverty, I'm sorry you also struggle with that. Is there no way you could get a better income or find cheaper stores ? Here it's come to the point where due tlo inflation food is now cheaper in organic stores than in regular supermarkets, and you can also find some cheap healthy food in places like Lidl, though I really don't like going there.
I am very lazy concerning cooking. I eat instant meals. With roundabout 100-130 calories per 100 gramm. It is more expensive than cooking fresh meals I think. And the fruits are expensive.

Honestly I currently don't have that much problems financially. My family gives me enough money. Though my parents also will stop working in some years. The situation will be very dramatic. ( I am very scared.) My sister might also not be able to get a stable income.
Believe me I try my best to get a stable income. But I am very ill and working is triggering me extremely. I try to fight but the odds are clearly against me.

I drink cappuccinos with different flavors. You could count that as a sweet. But the calories are not that high. I also eat sweet yoghurts with different flavors. These two are the most sweet things I eat.
 
Last edited:
Marine

Marine

*~ 絶対に 全てを取り戻させてもらう ~*
Jul 5, 2020
678
I am very lazy concerning cooking. I eat instant meals. With roundabout 100-130 calories per 100 gramm. It is more expensive than cooking fresh meals I think. And the fruits are expensive.

Hoenstly I currently don't have that much problems financially. My family gives me enough money. Though my parents also will stop woiking in some years. The situation will be very dramatic. ( I am very scared.) My sister might also not be able to get a stable income.
Believe me I try my best to get a stable income. But I am very ill and working is triggering me extremely. I try to fight but the odds are clearly against me.

I drink cappuccinos with different flavors. You could count that as a sweet. But the calories are not that high. I also eat sweet yoghurts with different flavors. These two are the most sweet things I eat.
We have a lot of preferences in common lol ^^

What about disability benefits if you can't work ?
 
N

noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,243
We have a lot of preferences in common lol ^^

What about disability benefits if you can't work ?
It is the same amount as welfare. I cannot live with that low amount of money.
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: Marine
Marine

Marine

*~ 絶対に 全てを取り戻させてもらう ~*
Jul 5, 2020
678
It is the same amount as welfare. I cannot live with that low amount of money.
Finding a job you can do is your best bet then. Or a partner.
 
hopelessdreams

hopelessdreams

life and its opposite
Mar 1, 2022
176
i like my ears
 
  • Like
Reactions: Eternal🌈Rainbow
Foresight

Foresight

Enlightened
Jun 14, 2019
1,393
I like the shape of my lips. Everything else is trash head to toe.

5-8 times a day? I'm trying to break my daily weigh in habit. I have a habit of doing it every morning and it's compulsive.
 
  • Like
Reactions: hopelessdreams and Eternal🌈Rainbow
rock3

rock3

Slowly dying on the inside
Jun 20, 2022
7
I like my hair other than that nada
 
  • Like
Reactions: Eternal🌈Rainbow
S

Seeking_Peace

Arcanist
May 18, 2022
476
I like my face. Although, the do you model question aggravates me because I feel like wasted potential.
 
  • Like
Reactions: hopelessdreams
Hirokami

Hirokami

Out of order
Feb 21, 2021
607
My face is near symmetrical, so there's that.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Foresight and hopelessdreams
onlyanimalsaregood

onlyanimalsaregood

Unlovable 💔 Rest in peace CommitSudoku 🤍
Mar 11, 2022
1,329
I like my freckles.
 
  • Like
Reactions: whatevs
dirtnap

dirtnap

Member
Jun 7, 2022
60
I'm extremely small framed and have a super tiny waist.
My issues are all within my inner self
 
  • Like
Reactions: whatevs and Marine
B

Bodydysmorphia

Member
Jun 15, 2022
54
It's nearly impossible for me to find something positive about my appearance as I feel like the negative aspects outweigh the positive ones (I can't even find really one).
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Élégie and dirtnap
Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,057
I'm six feet tall. The compliments end there.
 
lofticries

lofticries

obedear
Feb 27, 2021
1,470
Lol this is hard. I like my lips now that everyone in the world is getting lip filler to have them.

I also like having long legs even though I'm insecure about my height.
 
  • Like
Reactions: WaitingAllMyLife
whatevs

whatevs

Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
Jan 15, 2022
2,914
I have strong arms, and my right arm brachioradialis is suspiciously powerful. Onanism might ve making me slowly but surely the new Devon Larratt.

I also will never bald, even though the hair is like Jewfro, so not sure if it´s all that attractive.
 
D

Deleted member 847

Guest
Well I guess I'm tall enough for a guy (6ft, 1,83m for my european folks)
I can eat whatever I want without getting fat, but that also makes it hard for me to gain any physical strength
I could've really used a bigger skull, wider shoulders and
maybe some facial hair (as much as I don't like the aesthetics of it, being less androgynous, less child-like does give you some status in society)

We have to play the cards we were dealt
Life isn't an rpg where you get to customize your avatar,
there's no point in fantasizing to be someone you'll never be
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Similar threads

S
Replies
0
Views
97
Suicide Discussion
suicidenow
S
Lack-of-Everything
Replies
4
Views
217
Suicide Discussion
Lack-of-Everything
Lack-of-Everything
W
Replies
21
Views
405
Suicide Discussion
Neowise
Neowise
H
Replies
4
Views
200
Recovery
HereTomorrow
HereTomorrow
synthcadia
Replies
2
Views
167
Suicide Discussion
synthcadia
synthcadia