Help nail and scabs picking

[ecmnesia]

sorry. this is probably gross, but i am already ashamed enough, so please refrain from commenting on it.

i have serious issues with nail picking and scab picking, to the point where some of my nails are black and barely grow anymore, and i am also full of scars and wounds that won't heal because I can't stop reopening them. i used to self harm, but since I've stopped it, things became even worse.

talking to docs has proved to be useless as they don't even recognize this as something worthy of their time. i can't find any helpful advice on it either, but this issue really bother me and hurt me (both mentally and physically).

does anybody else experience this? is there something I can do to stop this behavior?

i didn't care about it because I was going to ctb anyway. but now that I am giving myself another shot i thought that this could be also treated/minimized.


thanks.

 

[darksideofthebright]

I am so sorry that you've been experiencing. I understand that it can mentally and physically be so painful.

My ex has something like this, where he would scratch himself, on the thighs and crotch area, until they bleed and now they are permanently damaged to the point that hair can't grow out from those parts. Up until the last time I saw him, that was a still a habit of his, and when we were together, I would stop him as he was doing it and try to redirect his attention onto something else, which somewhat helped.

I think it's a hard habit to break out of, but understanding what triggers it and bringing your attention onto something else or maybe just having a notepad where you can use a pen/pencil to scribble on may help. Just saying it from what I've seen, I'm so sorry if I can't be of much help. Just wanted to show you a little bit of support.

 

[CoalmineCanary]

I'm sorry you're going through this. A friend of mine had eczema and would always pick at his skin causing it to worsen. I don't know how effective it is but he tried wearing gloves even at night so he wouldn't do it in his sleep. I think it helped give time for the wounds to heal. After that period when the wound has healed enough and is no longer compelling one to pick at it, it can finish healing. Vitamin E cream to help skin heal. Hope that helps. Good Luck.

 

[signifying nothing]

My primary method of self harm is scratching and reopening wounds day after day, month after month for some of them, so I can relate to what you're going through.

It started as eczema, but now I know that it is much more psychological than that and sometimes so bad its like I am attacking myself or being attacked by another person I have so little control over it. It started just on my face, arms and legs, but now anywhere and everywhere can be affected.

I also know the shame and lack of understanding from anyone of its seriousness as a form of self harm and/or a physical manifestation of mental distress.

In terms of treatment I basically get steroid creams, antihistamines for my skin symptoms and itching, but this doesn't really get to the underlying causes. I am on the waiting list (UK, NHS) to talk to someone about the psychological aspects, but am not hopeful.

I have tried to understand for myself what is going on when I do this to myself, but it is a hard and slow process. Mostly just having to live with it for now sorry to say.

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I used to bite nails and skin pretty bad, and I still scab pick. I tried to stop several times, but kept relapsing. When my ex left I first wanted to die I looked at my nails and I felt weird about people seeing them after I died, and they would say bad stuff about me. I don't know why I cared.

Stopping was hard. I would dig my nails into slime or silly putty type stuff to relieve the feeling in the nails since I wasn't used to having nails it felt weird on the nail beds. I played with rubbery stress toys since they felt good on my nails. I filed or trimmed the short so they would bother me less. It took months to get passed the habit, and I still bite skin on my lips and pick scabs.

There is no easy answer. You need to be determined to stop and find a new outlet if you want it to discontinue. You're likely stress picking from focusing on studying so finding a good fidget or stress toy might help a lot.

 

[ecmnesia]

@RoseyBird @docile76 thanks a lot for the advices you both. i am definitely going to try the meds and creams for damage control (cause i feel horrible just by looking at them). the slime and silly puffy stuff is as awesome idea. i hope it's works at least a bit for me (you could try to docile).

thanks a lot for understanding and trying to help, all of you (@coalminecanary and @darksideofthebright that applies to you too)

 

[signifying nothing]

This is going to sound a bit more out there and I'm reluctant to say too much for fear of sounding crazy and losing people, but here goes anyway.

I have come to believe that my scratching and self harm are a way in which part of me is trying to communicate about something that is wrong, something that is hurting me but I am not doing anything/enough about.

Its like this part of me has no other way of communication except for the manner and focus of the self harm -ie the scratching/wounding of specific parts of my body.

The difficulty then comes in trying to understand what the scratching means, trying to translate that into something I can do to help myself, relieve the suffering of that part of me, answer their communication.

The same message keeps coming over and over (the same act of self harm) if I don't do anything/the right thing. If do get it right (I have had some success) then that 'message' stops and I heal.

This is obviously a very individual thing if similar is true for other people and what they are experiencing, but I just felt I should offer a different perspective on things that I have been pursuing and, very slowly, making progress with.

Make of that what you will, call me crazy if you must, but desperation had led me to consider things differently and I'm just telling you what I have experienced.

 

[Ghost2211]

This is going to sound a bit more out there and I'm reluctant to say too much for fear of sounding crazy and losing people, but here goes anyway.

I have come to believe that my scratching and self harm are a way in which part of me is trying to communicate about something that is wrong, something that is hurting me but I am not doing anything/enough about.

Its like this part of me has no other way of communication except for the manner and focus of the self harm -ie the scratching/wounding of specific parts of my body.

The difficulty then comes in trying to understand what the scratching means, trying to translate that into something I can do to help myself, relieve the suffering of that part of me, answer their communication.

The same message keeps coming over and over (the same act of self harm) if I don't do anything/the right thing. If do get it right (I have had some success) then that 'message' stops and I heal.

This is obviously a very individual thing if similar is true for other people and what they are experiencing, but I just felt I should offer a different perspective on things that I have been pursuing and, very slowly, making progress with.

Make of that what you will, call me crazy if you must, but desperation had led me to consider things differently and I'm just telling you what I have experienced.

Self harming and picking behaviors aren't crazy. It's usually anxiety, or internalized emotional pain. There's nothing wrong with you for resorting to self harm to cope. It might help to focus on what you're thinking about when you do scratching behaviors, and see if there is a pattern. It's brave of you to talk about these things, and nobody here will reject you for self harm. It is common here.

 

[signifying nothing]

Self harming and picking behaviors aren't crazy. It's usually anxiety, or internalized emotional pain. There's nothing wrong with you for resorting to self harm to cope. It might help to focus on what you're thinking about when you do scratching behaviors, and see if there is a pattern. It's brave of you to talk about these things, and nobody here will reject you for self harm. It is common here.

Or I really, really need some professional help. I do not know for sure.

 

[Lotus]

I'm sorry to hear about what you're struggling with. I can somewhat relate, and I understand it being shameful. For me it's picking on my lips and dragging the skin off so that I get small wounds on my lip. I try to be more aware of it, but it's a reaction to stress and anxiety. I haven't told anyone about it because, yes, it's gross. I don't know what to do about it. When I'm aware of it I try to stop and distract myself by doing something else, and it's been a little better. But I still have some issues with it. I can't really put like stuff on my lips to prevent it like you can do with your nails (but I don't really know if that's helpful at all, or if you've tried it out)

I also have problems with jaw clenching, both when I'm asleep and sometimes when I'm awake when I am very anxious and stressed out. Yes, it might not seem like the worst thing, but I'm struggling with chronic migraines and this is a huge trigger. I've just got a mouthgrind and hope that will give me some relief. The problem is that it's such an automatic response to stress that it's hard to recognize before I get problems with it, and I have zero control when I'm asleep.

So I guess I'm trying to deal with both what's triggering the behaviour, and something to stop the actual behaviour. But it's hard, and I don't really have any good advices, but know that you're not alone in this.

 

[ecmnesia]

This is going to sound a bit more out there and I'm reluctant to say too much for fear of sounding crazy and losing people, but here goes anyway.

I have come to believe that my scratching and self harm are a way in which part of me is trying to communicate about something that is wrong, something that is hurting me but I am not doing anything/enough about.

Its like this part of me has no other way of communication except for the manner and focus of the self harm -ie the scratching/wounding of specific parts of my body.

The difficulty then comes in trying to understand what the scratching means, trying to translate that into something I can do to help myself, relieve the suffering of that part of me, answer their communication.

The same message keeps coming over and over (the same act of self harm) if I don't do anything/the right thing. If do get it right (I have had some success) then that 'message' stops and I heal.

This is obviously a very individual thing if similar is true for other people and what they are experiencing, but I just felt I should offer a different perspective on things that I have been pursuing and, very slowly, making progress with.

Make of that what you will, call me crazy if you must, but desperation had led me to consider things differently and I'm just telling you what I have experienced.

sweetie, you don't seem crazy at all. in fact, i experienced this when I first started self harm too. that's no reason to be ashamed. i completely understand and I am sure the majority of people in here won't see you in a bad light.

i am very sorry that you have this need of harming yourself in order for people to acknowledge you, you should receive care and love and kindness regardless. at the same time I am happy that you were able to recognize one of your triggers i agree that this is a fundamental part of the healing process. i wish you luck, peace and support on this journey.

I'm sorry to hear about what you're struggling with. I can somewhat relate, and I understand it being shameful. For me it's picking on my lips and dragging the skin off so that I get small wounds on my lip. I try to be more aware of it, but it's a reaction to stress and anxiety. I haven't told anyone about it because, yes, it's gross. I don't know what to do about it. When I'm aware of it I try to stop and distract myself by doing something else, and it's been a little better. But I still have some issues with it. I can't really put like stuff on my lips to prevent it like you can do with your nails (but I don't really know if that's helpful at all, or if you've tried it out)

I also have problems with jaw clenching, both when I'm asleep and sometimes when I'm awake when I am very anxious and stressed out. Yes, it might not seem like the worst thing, but I'm struggling with chronic migraines and this is a huge trigger. I've just got a mouthgrind and hope that will give me some relief. The problem is that it's such an automatic response to stress that it's hard to recognize before I get problems with it, and I have zero control when I'm asleep.

So I guess I'm trying to deal with both what's triggering the behaviour, and something to stop the actual behaviour. But it's hard, and I don't really have any good advices, but know that you're not alone in this.

it's weird because while i do find my issue gross, i do not see it like it for your problems. i guess that's a sign that we are all missing a little bit o self-love, cause we can see things for others, but not for ourselves (sorry if it's confusing, didn't know how to explain).

and trust i have i tiny idea of how horrible jaw clenching is. for a while, when i was taking sertraline i had a horrible experience with it and it wasn't even as bad as your case. i am sorry you are in such pain. have you tried consulting a doctor? maybe some painkillers could help you a bit.

regarding the lips, i don't know with your a female or male, but you could try applying some gloss, or maybe vaseline (it helps me not to pick on the skin of my lips cause when i touch it the creamy substance reminds me that I am not supposed to hurt myself more) [if you are a male or don't like gloss (my case), or maybe you are a male and gloss is ok for you, no prejudice here :3]
_____

regarding the nails thing

i don't own gloves so i couldn't do it for the hands (this place is too hot for them), but I've been using socks since yesterday, all the time, so there is kind of a barrier between me and my fingers, which reminds me that I am not supposed to pick on my injuries. it's not the best solution ever, but it's helping a bit.

 

[SwagGalore]

Body focused repetitive behaviors are a bitch and a half. I have OCD that ended up manifesting as dermatillomania in my adolescence. I haven't had a chance to put serious effort into fixing it because my other mental illnesses have managed to be far bigger disasters. The biggest tips I can give are the following:

1) Barriers, while not treating the root issue, will allow for a basic level of healing. For example, to combat my newer habit of picking at my legs, I've stopped wearing shorts and only wearing pants. If it's too hot to wear gloves you can also consider finger cots, which come in a variety of materials.​

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The less damaged skin you're left with, the less you'll have to pick at. You're disrupting the cycle.​

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2) A CBT strategy for BFRBs is to narrate the behavior. This means describing out loud any picking you do. This will eventually curb any subconscious picking you do.​

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3). For conscious picking, you want to note any situations/thoughts/feelings that cause you to get the urge. I'm OCD, so I notice things like having unbrushed teeth/greasy skin/untrimmed nails causes me to feel "dirty" which is when my hands often wander to my face. A lot of my picking also comes down to restlessness (ADHD, yay). When I keep stimulating fidgets around as a replacement my picking plummets.​

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4) This leads to my next point. Have a replacement to picking. Ideally this is something you find satiating and as distracting as possible. What will ultimately work is going to be something personal to you, but keep an open mind and try a variety of things. I often exfoliate my face to get rid of rough areas I would pick at, as well as throw tons of moisturizer on them. Sometimes I'll do a foot peel or a manicure, too.​

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5) There is a big community on youtube, reddit, etc. for BFRBs, as well as a lot of literature on the subject. It's worth exploring what's out there. I hope to myself once finals are over and my mental health is somewhat stable.​

 

[waterstrider]

I did this for years with my self-harm wounds on my thighs.
That's why they haven't faded yet.
After a day or two I would reopen them.

But nowadays I bought and use a stress ball. I squeeze it as hard as I can whenever I'm in distress or sometimes I randomly start sprinting until I'm out of breath. Maybe that helps...find other coping mechanisms.
Good luck to you

 

[signifying nothing]

I find barriers and replacements make things worse for me. They may work for a short time, but then I scratch worse and more frantically.

In continuation of my previous post I can understand this, because its like ignoring what the part of me doing the self harm is trying to communicate. Its like ignoring someone in distress that is trying to talk to you, trying to get your attention. So I don't do those things anymore.

 

[SwagGalore]

I find barriers and replacements make things worse for me. They may work for a short time, but then I scratch worse and more frantically.

In continuation of my previous post I can understand this, because its like ignoring what the part of me doing the self harm is trying to communicate. Its like ignoring someone in distress that is trying to talk to you, trying to get your attention. So I don't do those things anymore.

That totally makes sense. Treatment approach definitely depends on the person. I would say my skin picking is an externalization of distress, but for me, there's no removing that inner distress. Furthermore, years of picking has turned it into an addiction, so it persists even when I'm feeling relatively well. The best I can do is replace my destructive coping mechanisms to the best of my ability. If I don't employ any strategies my body turns into one giant scab. Bleh.

 

[signifying nothing]

This going to sound crazy part II: Where I have had success with trying to understand my self harm it has been by realising that external things, mainly around my home, have been the cause of my internal distress.

A big thing I did was taking out the carpet gripper from under my carpets - that helped relieve a lot of scratching on my arms and legs. To try to explain it, its as though the carpet is an external representation of skin and all the nails from the carpet gripper were jabbing into it, and this is what my scratching was conveying to me.

If you have carpets and gripper and are at your wit's end for other ideas of what to do then I recommend giving it a try, even just a small bit and see how it goes.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I've apparently been biting my nails for as long as I've had teeth and picking scabs ever since I first got one so I can relate. I think I remember hearing it has something to do with a mix of boredom/anxiety. My dad once tried to stop my nail biting habit by using this clear nail polish that was supposed to taste bad and discourage me from biting my nails but I ended up getting used to the taste anyway and continued to bite my nails...

 

[ecmnesia]

I ended up getting used to the taste anyway and continued to bite my nails

lol i know this is not supposed to be funny. but the very same thing happened to me.

 

[Silver]

I pick my nails a lot, some are almost as short as the cuticles, as well as picking at the skin around them, and picking scabs and the skin on my lips. Not sure why I do it, although I've noticed stress makes it worse. For a little while I tried wearing false nails, but picked them off too (which hurt to do, and damaged my nails and skin) but might be effective for you?