Wreck-it-Riley
My demon will see me undone
- Oct 20, 2019
- 269
A bit more than 2 years ago i had an experience of death that made me a lot less afraid of it. Its kind of an interesting story? I feel like i was told how i would die and show that it will be magical.
DMT is ironically a yellow powder that kind of looks like salt, but long grains instead of cubes. There is even a synthetic version that is a white powder with a yellow tinge :)
So around this time i was in a crazy situation, In a 5 month long manic episode and down to do almost anything. A spiritual friend of mine told of the amazing experiences with DMT, and my roommate wanted to try. People have told of life changing advise from the entities you see ( Almost everyone sees the same things) massive decreases in depression, entire shifts in perspective. World altering stuff. Not one to turn away some solid peer pressure, we took some home and started to set the house up. Any type of drug that makes you hallucinate you should be worried about the set and setting. We went with soft music, candle light and lots of blankets and pillows.
The friend who sold this to me informed me that once you inhale you should hold your breath for as long as possible. Sitting in my tall backed blue arm chair, and my roommate on the couch, we set off. Almost immediately there was an intense ringing, almost like the hum of a tuning fork. There was a bit of a headache, But it was overshadowed by the soft peacefulness of it. It felt like hands where holding me against the chair, and covering mouth and nose to retain the breath. Looking around the room, the colors and shapes were amazing. Every inch of wall was a masterpiece of design. I looked for what felt like hours, before I actually noticed i wasn't able to breathe. But it felt right. All of a sudden a feeling came over me. Almost a message saying "This is how you will go. Come with us and everything will be ok." but in feeling instead of words. I knew i was holding my last breath but felt no urge to breathe further. I knew from experience that it is easier to get a body off the floor than out of a chair. (Funeral home employee, we did a lot of home death pickups for the M.E.) So i got up to lay on the floor and a massive explosion of color happened behind me, casting a shadow on the wall. The shadow was not absent of color, but a shining white against the nebula of color. I knew my choice was right, and as i lay down, everything went dark.
I woke up the happiest i had ever felt, about 15 minutes later. (the trip only lasts 20 mins before you are 100% sober) Nothing could bother me. But i had long felt like something else happened. And the more i learn about SN, the more i realize that this is what i was looking for. The parallels make me think the experience will be similar. They showed me the way out i was supposed to take. Ingest and hold. Relax and look around for a few minutes that seem like hours, possibly with a headache that can be distracting. Knowing your body will be picked up and making it easier. The intoxicated feeling and then passing out, into serine darkness. I just know this is how it was meant to be and i feel so calm about that now.
Now for real, i DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS DRUG. My second time trying, 6 months later when the good feeling had faded, i didn't get to see death again like i hoped. I lived what felt like 100 lives, all so different but so real. I still see those lives bleed through to this day 2 years later. Roads im sure had different names, posters that said something else. I can remember big events that didn't happen, and have no memory of ones that did. It has a very distinct but un-describable smell. Occasionally i just smell it out of nowhere and have a meltdown, because i instantly think im still trapped living in the DMT world. This is one of the huge factors contributing to my decline in mental health, because it feeds into my existing religious beliefs.
TL;DR Took a drug and hallucinated my future death. Do not recommend.
DMT is ironically a yellow powder that kind of looks like salt, but long grains instead of cubes. There is even a synthetic version that is a white powder with a yellow tinge :)
So around this time i was in a crazy situation, In a 5 month long manic episode and down to do almost anything. A spiritual friend of mine told of the amazing experiences with DMT, and my roommate wanted to try. People have told of life changing advise from the entities you see ( Almost everyone sees the same things) massive decreases in depression, entire shifts in perspective. World altering stuff. Not one to turn away some solid peer pressure, we took some home and started to set the house up. Any type of drug that makes you hallucinate you should be worried about the set and setting. We went with soft music, candle light and lots of blankets and pillows.
The friend who sold this to me informed me that once you inhale you should hold your breath for as long as possible. Sitting in my tall backed blue arm chair, and my roommate on the couch, we set off. Almost immediately there was an intense ringing, almost like the hum of a tuning fork. There was a bit of a headache, But it was overshadowed by the soft peacefulness of it. It felt like hands where holding me against the chair, and covering mouth and nose to retain the breath. Looking around the room, the colors and shapes were amazing. Every inch of wall was a masterpiece of design. I looked for what felt like hours, before I actually noticed i wasn't able to breathe. But it felt right. All of a sudden a feeling came over me. Almost a message saying "This is how you will go. Come with us and everything will be ok." but in feeling instead of words. I knew i was holding my last breath but felt no urge to breathe further. I knew from experience that it is easier to get a body off the floor than out of a chair. (Funeral home employee, we did a lot of home death pickups for the M.E.) So i got up to lay on the floor and a massive explosion of color happened behind me, casting a shadow on the wall. The shadow was not absent of color, but a shining white against the nebula of color. I knew my choice was right, and as i lay down, everything went dark.
I woke up the happiest i had ever felt, about 15 minutes later. (the trip only lasts 20 mins before you are 100% sober) Nothing could bother me. But i had long felt like something else happened. And the more i learn about SN, the more i realize that this is what i was looking for. The parallels make me think the experience will be similar. They showed me the way out i was supposed to take. Ingest and hold. Relax and look around for a few minutes that seem like hours, possibly with a headache that can be distracting. Knowing your body will be picked up and making it easier. The intoxicated feeling and then passing out, into serine darkness. I just know this is how it was meant to be and i feel so calm about that now.
Now for real, i DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS DRUG. My second time trying, 6 months later when the good feeling had faded, i didn't get to see death again like i hoped. I lived what felt like 100 lives, all so different but so real. I still see those lives bleed through to this day 2 years later. Roads im sure had different names, posters that said something else. I can remember big events that didn't happen, and have no memory of ones that did. It has a very distinct but un-describable smell. Occasionally i just smell it out of nowhere and have a meltdown, because i instantly think im still trapped living in the DMT world. This is one of the huge factors contributing to my decline in mental health, because it feeds into my existing religious beliefs.
TL;DR Took a drug and hallucinated my future death. Do not recommend.
