Defenestration
I want to have the courage to defenestrate myself
- Oct 25, 2020
- 1,269
Hi,
I did nothing at all this year in 2024 because every month since January 2024 I thought very hard about a suicide attempt...
twice I couldn't jump at the last moment... and every week of 2024 I said to myself: "what's the point of doing something in 15 days I'll be dead anyway"... either I couldn't do it because of SI or there are a whole bunch of different things that meant it couldn't happen and I had to put it off again and again and again....
it just kept getting pushed back, since January... again my father is not well I can't do it now, then not at Christmas ...and then the caretaker of the building where I wanted to throw myself leaves for 3 weeks at the beginning of January......
every time it's pushed back.
so I'm a real larva who has been waiting for a year without doing anything because I tell myself that in a few weeks I will be dead...
anyone in my situation?
so in the end I put off analyses, tests that I have to do, I isolate myself a lot, I spend my time in my bed on my cell phone... I am still alive...but outside of everything...I am already dead in my head and out of this world...
I did nothing at all this year in 2024 because every month since January 2024 I thought very hard about a suicide attempt...
twice I couldn't jump at the last moment... and every week of 2024 I said to myself: "what's the point of doing something in 15 days I'll be dead anyway"... either I couldn't do it because of SI or there are a whole bunch of different things that meant it couldn't happen and I had to put it off again and again and again....
it just kept getting pushed back, since January... again my father is not well I can't do it now, then not at Christmas ...and then the caretaker of the building where I wanted to throw myself leaves for 3 weeks at the beginning of January......
every time it's pushed back.
so I'm a real larva who has been waiting for a year without doing anything because I tell myself that in a few weeks I will be dead...
anyone in my situation?
so in the end I put off analyses, tests that I have to do, I isolate myself a lot, I spend my time in my bed on my cell phone... I am still alive...but outside of everything...I am already dead in my head and out of this world...
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