Venting my wife died today.

[ForeverLonely82]

So my wife died today She was 49 and I constantly said that by the time she is 50 I will have to bury her And now my brain has call it and I can't say I'm surprised. I'm sitting here drinking I'm trying to numb the pain nothing was really helping but I will say this much while she didn't make me entirely happy I still cared about her. Now now she's gone and it will be hard to wake up day-to-day with her not being there and having to see her for the last time a look on her face was sad and there was nothing that could have been done about that. So I have to find a way to live without my wife without my rock and home. However I just wanted to let everybody know who was interested.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Sincere condolences, truly sorry for your loss. Sending love.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Do you have other family members and friends around to support you during this time?

 

[waterbaby100]

So sorry to hear this

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry for your loss

 

[Macedonian1987]

My sincerest condolences ForeverLonely82.

 

[zizzou]

Sorry.

 

[indianachrome]

Sorry for your loss brother

 

[newslaves916]

So my wife died today She was 49 and I constantly said that by the time she is 50 I will have to bury her And now my brain has call it and I can't say I'm surprised. I'm sitting here drinking I'm trying to numb the pain nothing was really helping but I will say this much while she didn't make me entirely happy I still cared about her. Now now she's gone and it will be hard to wake up day-to-day with her not being there and having to see her for the last time a look on her face was sad and there was nothing that could have been done about that. So I have to find a way to live without my wife without my rock and home. However I just wanted to let everybody know who was interested.

I lost my girlfriend 2 months ago
I get it
I really hope life treats you better man

 

[Mooncry]

I'm so sorry… I really can't even begin to imagine your pain.

 

[nobodycaresaboutme]

I'm truly sorry for your loss. I wish I had good words to heal you.

 

[Alexandra_]

My condolences on your loss

 

[silverana]

So sorry

 

[Kitsune_BCN]

Sorry for your loss

 

[facetoface]

im so incredibly sorry for your loss man.

 

[Marbas]

Sorry for your loss

 

[Pale_Rider]

I am very sorry to read this. Only time can really help with this. And some connectivity. So here is a virtual hug.

 

[spero_meliora]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[Realgar]

I am so very sorry.

 

[PI3.14]

Sorry for your loss

 

[MissAbyss]

My sincerest condolences for your loss.

 

[ForeverLonely82]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Do you have other family members and friends around to support you during this time?

A couple online, but none IRL.

 

[itsgone2]

I am so sorry for your loss

 

[ForeverLonely82]

Now that I am sober I'll give some details about it. I go to bed around 4 Am normally and I check on her before hand. Her eyes were open and she was breathing ragged like. I tried getting her to respond to me and nothing worked. I called 911 and they got her. I went up there and was in the family waiting room awaiting any kind of indication of her condition. I Finally talk to the first doctor an hour after they worked on her and was told she was on a ventilator and was unresponsive and asked me if she said or shown any kind of discomfort prior to this and of course I said "no" because she didn't. Given that I barely got any sleep after they finally had her in a more stable condition I decided to go home and take a little of a nap But I was getting phone calls about her condition every hour.waking me up and a little later I was busy taking care of things in my home but when the doctor told me that her skin was turning color and her organs are starting to fail I dropped everything and went up there again. When I made it there the doctor explained to me that her organs are shut down and the only one that was working was her heart and that was bound to stop at any given time they were gonna try to perform a surgery to her stomach and intestines because that's where the severity of the damage was. Also they didn't tell me until I came up there that she actually had a stroke which was why she was unresponsive. Before I went to the waiting room to see how the surgery would hold up, I squeezed my wife's hand and told her "goodbye" and started walking away a cold blue was issued for my wife meaning she just had cardiac arrest They tried three times to Resuscitate her but her heart refused to pump again so they just let it go. They tried CPR and Defibrillator none of that worked. So they told me it was over and I broke down after the shock wore off. I told myself well it's time to get shit faced And cry. I did more than cry I actually screamed at my desk. It is was So hard to wake up today and see my wife's bed empty and not giving her good morning kiss and helping her out given that she was a double amputee. I just feel empty and lost right now I sincerely don't know how I'm going to live this point on I didn't grieve this much when my mother died last year. My mother died in November last year and my wife died November this year Now I have a concrete real reason to hate the holidays. So I just wanted to let you guys know the full story There's no words to really explain how I truly feel but I'll sum it up in one word. Destroyed.

 

[PI3.14]

Now that I am sober I'll give some details about it. I go to bed around 4 Am normally and I check on her before hand. Her eyes were open and she was breathing ragged like. I tried getting her to respond to me and nothing worked. I called 911 and they got her. I went up there and was in the family waiting room awaiting any kind of indication of her condition. I Finally talk to the first doctor an hour after they worked on her and was told she was on a ventilator and was unresponsive and asked me if she said or shown any kind of discomfort prior to this and of course I said "no" because she didn't. Given that I barely got any sleep after they finally had her in a more stable condition I decided to go home and take a little of a nap But I was getting phone calls about her condition every hour.waking me up and a little later I was busy taking care of things in my home but when the doctor told me that her skin was turning color and her organs are starting to fail I dropped everything and went up there again. When I made it there the doctor explained to me that her organs are shut down and the only one that was working was her heart and that was bound to stop at any given time they were gonna try to perform a surgery to her stomach and intestines because that's where the severity of the damage was. Also they didn't tell me until I came up there that she actually had a stroke which was why she was unresponsive. Before I went to the waiting room to see how the surgery would hold up, I squeezed my wife's hand and told her "goodbye" and started walking away a cold blue was issued for my wife meaning she just had cardiac arrest They tried three times to Resuscitate her but her heart refused to pump again so they just let it go. They tried CPR and Defibrillator none of that worked. So they told me it was over and I broke down after the shock wore off. I told myself well it's time to get shit faced And cry. I did more than cry I actually screamed at my desk. It is was So hard to wake up today and see my wife's bed empty and not giving her good morning kiss and helping her out given that she was a double amputee. I just feel empty and lost right now I sincerely don't know how I'm going to live this point on I didn't grieve this much when my mother died last year. My mother died in November last year and my wife died November this year Now I have a concrete real reason to hate the holidays. So I just wanted to let you guys know the full story There's no words to really explain how I truly feel but I'll sum it up in one word. Destroyed.

Sir, that was a lot to go through, especially considering your previous loss of your mom last year, plus the condition of your wife.

I'm so sorry you went through all of this. I wish we can all do something other than offering your oud condolences, and words of encouragement.

I hope you have some irl people who can be with you through this, you need your alone time to grieve, but also need others to help you around while you're "recovering", and I'm sorry for using this word since I know that life after such a traumatic events is nothing but different.

 

[ForeverLonely82]

Sir, that was a lot to go through, especially considering your previous loss of your mom last year, plus the condition of your wife.

I'm so sorry you went through all of this. I wish we can all do something other than offering your oud condolences, and words of encouragement.

I hope you have some irl people who can be with you through this, you need your alone time to grieve, but also need others to help you around while you're "recovering", and I'm sorry for using this word since I know that life after such a traumatic events is nothing but different.

I really appreciate the kind words It means a lot to me. Fortunately there is a friend That has come forward to help me grieve and get through the tough road ahead He doesn't want me to suffer alone and I couldn't for more. I'm taking this weekend to grieve and process this as best I can because starting Monday I need to make phone calls and make arrangements. Which he will help me with because I can't think straight which he can relate to 'cause he lost his mom a few years ago as well. He kept asking if I'm eating resting and taking care of myself And I'm not i'm not hungry at all I have no appetite whatsoever I feel completely numb from the head down My cats have been very clinging with me because they know that their cat daddy is shattered. Given that is fresh in my mind I don't know if I'm ever going to recover from this. I already have PTSD and this has just made it spiral even worse It just sucks at every moment that passes I can see her face when she was dying in the hospital I can't get rid of that image it's burned in my head. I've been trying to watch videos, listen to music and nothing seems to help. I'm sure in time I'll be able to put it somewhere to where I can move on a little but I can't say for sure.

 

[Raven2]

Sending my condolences to you. Lean on your friend as much as you can.

 

[ForeverLonely82]

Sending my condolences to you. Lean on your friend as much as you can.

He said he's gonna bug me for the next two weeks or longer just to make sure I'm OK he's really worried about me because I suffer from mental health problems and I'm disabled due to it. He's going to help me with the arrangements of the cremation of my wife on Monday and I need to get a hold the many services she used that were health related That didn't get the memo. He'll also help me clean up and discard some of her belongings. I'm not getting rid of all of it though I do want some mementos to remember her by because I'm never gonna be in a relationship again due to the current dating world it's impossible to find love and I'm not thinking about that right now anyway So she was probably my last relationship I'll have on this earth while I still live. I'm currently 43 and she was 49. The friend has been her friend all of their life And I was friends with the guy too 'cause he was always friendly and kind also very Helpful during hard times so I am grateful for his help because he has a family of his own to care for and I hate to intrude like this but he wants to help and I will not take that for granted and I am grateful.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

My sincere condolences. I hope time is swift in easing your pain.

 

[U. A.]

Please be as gentle with yourself as you can; there's no standard roadmap for what's to come, feelings may change on a dime, it's all so huge and impossible to grasp but as you say, time is absolutely necessary for whatever extent of healing may happen.