I recently found out I have ADHD. I also have anxiety and go through bouts of depression. All my life, I've been considered smart and gifted but my inability to focus, emotional regulation issues, laziness, and all the other nuances that accompany ADHD are ruining my life. I am not successful in my career and don't think I have much potential to be. My social anxiety has gotten so bad to the point where I don't want to leave the house. I'm only 25, but I've never had a successful relationship despite having a few boyfriends. Most of my day (I WFH) is spent in bed, only leaving to eat sometimes. Even with treatment, I know my life and my brain will never be "normal". Some days I feel hopeful that maybe I can change things, but I always come back to wanting to CTB. I feel like my brain is a prison and I just am so exhausted trying to fight anymore. I've been on this page for a while, but I think I am going to make an effort to procure some N or SN (N preferred but I know that is more difficult to obtain).
Shepherd's boy
I will go with you
- May 19, 2022
- 79
Oh, I am so related to this. I take maximum dose of antidepressants everyday and it doesn't help. Life ain't easy and the only way I see for you is to find someone who will sincerely listen and take care of you. I don't think that someone can overcome this on their own.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 45,739
I'm sorry that you suffer so much. It sounds unbearable what you are going through and I know that it is hard to carry on when you are so tired of everything. I wish you the best in whatever happens and I hope that you find relief from your suffering.
Lost Magic
Illuminated
- May 5, 2020
- 3,207
I feel the same. I can't focus on things for long, I am depressed a lot, hardly go out anymore. This house is just a prison. I can't wait to free myself from my chains and move onto whatever is after this life.
I work with a high-performing individual who also suffers from ADHD. For him, it seems to be a matter of having his medication dialed in. I'm not sure how depression would compound things, but patience and choice are probably both worth weighting.
I also feel like I'm a waste of potential. Everyone around me tells me that I'm smart but I'm too depressed to do things that I only want to end my life..
WARNING THIS IS A LONG POST.....
I've lived with ADHD for over 60 yrs, I've also had 161 yes 161 different jobs since I was 16 yrs old sometimes in my late teen years I'd start and quit 3 jobs in a single day. I was married for 28yrs when my wife passed away and we raised 4 Kids. My wife was either a SAINT or very stupid, personally I think she was a saint, I put my family through hell, I couldn't hold a job, I developed a gambling problem, we had to depend I public assistance a couple times was homeless once for a couple months yet my wife stood by me. I know some people don't believe in God, but I do, God sees you through your HEART not so much your actions. God has put people into my life and miracles have happened. Things started to change for me after I had taken a semester of phycology 101 ( I think everyone with ADHD should take this course) you could do this at your own pace online.
So the first thing I had to figure out was what we're my comfort zone. I learned drinking coffee and listening to music I enjoyed help me focus easier, then I had to find a job that satisfied these needs, for me it was becoming an over the road truck driver, at times I found anti anxiety medication worked better then the medication prescribed for ADHD worked, the last medication for ADHD I was on was vivance until I had a heart attack and was taken off of it. I was in my late 30's when I figured it out, my wife has been gone for 10+ yrs now and I'd say the last 10 years of her life she had everything she needed and wanted, I became a home owner and lived in that house for 21yrs, I recently sold it and moved to another state.
I guess the first thing I had to learn was to stop pleasing other people and learn what I was capable of and not capable of, example, my friends could stay out till 4 am get 2 or 3 hours sleep and get up to go to work, I still can't do that, I need a MINIMUM of 6 hrs sleep and I need to get up 2 hours before I leave for work so I could wakeup an ease into my day. Before I learned this I'd say I went through 60 jobs because it would be time to get up and go to work and I'd say screw it I quit and of course I wouldn't call and tell them, I'd just not show up, of course a couple days later I'd regret it, some jobs gave me a few chances when I'd explain my situation.
I could continue to tell you my story, but you'd lose interest and not finish reading it
sorry I couldn't resist.
Anti anxiety medication work great with anti depression medication for people with ADHD. Better than medication for ADHD alone.
I live it.
I've lived with ADHD for over 60 yrs, I've also had 161 yes 161 different jobs since I was 16 yrs old sometimes in my late teen years I'd start and quit 3 jobs in a single day. I was married for 28yrs when my wife passed away and we raised 4 Kids. My wife was either a SAINT or very stupid, personally I think she was a saint, I put my family through hell, I couldn't hold a job, I developed a gambling problem, we had to depend I public assistance a couple times was homeless once for a couple months yet my wife stood by me. I know some people don't believe in God, but I do, God sees you through your HEART not so much your actions. God has put people into my life and miracles have happened. Things started to change for me after I had taken a semester of phycology 101 ( I think everyone with ADHD should take this course) you could do this at your own pace online.
So the first thing I had to figure out was what we're my comfort zone. I learned drinking coffee and listening to music I enjoyed help me focus easier, then I had to find a job that satisfied these needs, for me it was becoming an over the road truck driver, at times I found anti anxiety medication worked better then the medication prescribed for ADHD worked, the last medication for ADHD I was on was vivance until I had a heart attack and was taken off of it. I was in my late 30's when I figured it out, my wife has been gone for 10+ yrs now and I'd say the last 10 years of her life she had everything she needed and wanted, I became a home owner and lived in that house for 21yrs, I recently sold it and moved to another state.
I guess the first thing I had to learn was to stop pleasing other people and learn what I was capable of and not capable of, example, my friends could stay out till 4 am get 2 or 3 hours sleep and get up to go to work, I still can't do that, I need a MINIMUM of 6 hrs sleep and I need to get up 2 hours before I leave for work so I could wakeup an ease into my day. Before I learned this I'd say I went through 60 jobs because it would be time to get up and go to work and I'd say screw it I quit and of course I wouldn't call and tell them, I'd just not show up, of course a couple days later I'd regret it, some jobs gave me a few chances when I'd explain my situation.
I could continue to tell you my story, but you'd lose interest and not finish reading it
sorry I couldn't resist.I'll add this comment to your post but it applies to everyone.... Most ADHD people are very smart and figures things out rapidly do to the way our brains work. If you could except the fact that you have a disability, like a diabetic, and not use it as an excuse, you could learn to work with it rather than against it, you can change your life.
Anti anxiety medication work great with anti depression medication for people with ADHD. Better than medication for ADHD alone.
I live it.
Read my replies and post they might help you
ADHD and depression go hand in hand one reason is it takes a lot of energy to act "normal" people don't understand
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