Story My VSED experiences (Pretty detailed-ish)

[Chili]

I'm sharing my experiences with VSED since I had attempted it in the past and never shared how it went. No idea what you'd get from this. Obviously, it did not work and was much more trouble than it was worth. It had always been a goal of mine to die from starvation, but it was never practical.

I've had an eating disorder since I was in high school, and it has continued after college. At the time I was attempting to die from starvation, I started low-calorie Mondays through Fridays and fasted on weekends until my BMI was low enough. I took a week off of work, skipped all my classes, dedicated myself to not eating that week, tossed all food in my house in the donate bin or the trash, and locked myself in my home for seven days. I just watched YouTube. I wrote and read some pretty delirious poems (I don't even like poetry). I made some purchases I regret now. It honestly felt like that week passed by quickly. I drank water and green tea during this week.

And I survived. I felt like shit, though. I had taken the week off and had to work double the hours I had done prior weeks to give other workers a break in a pretty labor-intensive job. So, I went to work and did probably the worst job I've ever done. It was pretty obvious something was off, so no one said a word to me. Halfway into that next week, I drop and have a heart attack. I get whisked off in an ambulance. Apparently, not eating can cause heart arrhythmias, and it was downhill from there. It's pretty easy to tell someone hasn't eaten in a week when they're at the hospital.

I tried again as soon as I was not under watch with alcohol and weed, same year. I gave up straight up starving because it was only making things worse. I honestly can not remember how much I drank or smoked, but I didn't get up from my bed. I ordered pizza (why the fuck not), got up to get pizza, made it to the door and blacked out. I woke up what felt like seconds later, grabbed the pizza, got inside, and then blacked out again. I gave up. I just sat there until I woke up, vomited, and went to sleep.

I wouldn't recommend it, honestly.

 

[TenThousandTrees]

Thanks for recounting your experience. I think a lot of us who have eating disorders or who struggle with finding motivation to eat during depressive episodes find the idea of this particular "passive exit" alluring, but the more I read about it, the more awful it sounds. The heart attack you experienced is particularly mortifying and I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

 

[Chili]

Thanks for recounting your experience. I think a lot of us who have eating disorders or who struggle with finding motivation to eat during depressive episodes find the idea of this particular "passive exit" alluring, but the more I read about it, the more awful it sounds. The heart attack you experienced is particularly mortifying and I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

I just always found people treated me so nicely when I was a lower weight. I figured how ironic that I'd die from starvation when it was the only reason people were kind to me. What a society, I'd think as I'd put on my pseudo-joker mask. Once you have starved yourself long enough, you don't really feel the pain of hunger, per se, but everything else starts to shut down. I DID have headaches, and a ton of them. Think I had trouble hearing at some point. I also had no idea heart attacks were even possible, but where I had an eating disorder for so long, it had taken its toll, I guess.

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

As soon as I read your were drinking water and tea and only gave yourself a week I knew you wouldn't make it. If you were having just water it would take no less than 3 weeks in extreme conditions. I tried this method 3 times myself and documented the last attempt on here as I was attempting. I did a week with no food or fluid and was still lucid. The myth is that it only takes three days without water but I was well past that and still thinking clearly so I wrote off the entire method.

VSED only works if you're already terminally ill and in hospice, or in extreme climates while overexerting yourself daily.

Still, sharing your experience is valuable to everyone coming here and considering it as a valid method. It isn't and it's helpful for people to know that.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me personally that sounds really dreadful and like it just leads to more suffering, I really wish it's not so difficult to be free from this existence. But anyway I wish you the best.