Venting My uncle committed suicide

[snailboy]

Just found out this afternoon that my uncle committed suicide. He jumped off a tall building. He lives far away overseas so there's not even anything my family can do until he's cremated and his ashes are sent to us I guess.

I was planning on possibly ctb by jumping so this hit me hard, seeing my family cry and mourn over him. Makes me feel guilty for even thinking about it, idk.

 

[Octavia]

I'm sorry

 

[AngryDog]

I'm so sorry for your loss, seems like your family really cared for him. You must be going through a lot right now.

 

[Seven Threads]

That's a natural response, and totally understandable. Most people don't want to hurt the ones they care about, even when they want things to end.

In any case, I'm sorry for the position it's put you in. I don't imagine you're in the best place right now, but I hope you and your family have the peace to grieve and to heal.

If i may ask, what kind of relationship did you have with your uncle? Were you close?

 

[Octavia]

Perhaps that now would be a good time to see if therapy can be helpful, if you have never tried it? I am assuming that your entire family would be going through therapy for their bereavement. Most professionals would not send you to the Sadness Jail unless that you express suicidal thoughts that may become reality in the *very* near future. As long as the official version is that you do not have a precise date in mind and would probably make it to your next few appointments, you should be good.

 

[snailboy]

That's a natural response, and totally understandable. Most people don't want to hurt the ones they care about, even when they want things to end.

In any case, I'm sorry for the position it's put you in. I don't imagine you're in the best place right now, but I hope you and your family have the peace to grieve and to heal.

If i may ask, what kind of relationship did you have with your uncle? Were you close?

we weren't close, he struggled with drug and alcohol addiction and because of that my parents chose to keep me and my sibling away from him when he lived closer. he moved overseas to hawaii so the last time i saw him was over zoom during thanksgiving a couple years ago. it mostly just hurts seeing how affected my mom is, he was her brother.

Perhaps that now would be a good time to see if therapy can be helpful, if you have never tried it? I am assuming that your entire family would be going through therapy for their bereavement. Most professionals would not send you to the Sadness Jail unless that you express suicidal thoughts that may become reality in the *very* near future. As long as the official version is that you do not have a precise date in mind and would probably make it to your next few appointments, you should be good.

i do have a therapist and am currently seeing her weekly, trying to get better but it seems like my suicidal ideation is always in the back of my head. thank you for the concern <3

 

[Seven Threads]

In that case, probably the best thing you can do right now is to try and be there for your mom. I know you probably have complicated feelings about that, given your ideations, but try not to think about that too much. That's a conflict to be resolved in the future, if and when you're ready. Right now, being together with your family and doing what you can to heal together is the most natural thing you can do.

Things are going to be kind of awful for a little while, but I hope they get better.

 

[Tobacco]

I'm sorry. This must make you feel more trapped.

 

[Cabbiesevvie]

My thoughts are with you. Trying to heal from this must be extremely difficult.
I hope your life will better.

 

[Viranamari]

That must be very difficult. Negative feelings are perfectly normal in situations like these. After someone commits CTB, it's hard on their loved ones. I hope things get better for you if you need more help, you might consider seeking your therapist more frequently.

 

[FuneralCry]

Jumping sounds like a terrifying method to me, but I've always admired those who have the courage to succeed. It could never surprise me that so many decide to ctb in this world, at least to me I guess that it would make sense to wish to prevent unnecessary suffering and take control over when we die as after all, we are all destined to die anyway. Rest in peace.

 

[Hotsackage]

my condolences. seeing others reaction to my death is why im still here. so i understand your guilt

 

[LateForTheBus]

I'm sorry about your uncle. I know that's a lot to deal with. (Hugs)

 

[Luminousjelly]

Sorry to hear that, hope your okay. I knew someone who was similar and it was a bit of a shock.

 

[lionetta12]

Just found out this afternoon that my uncle committed suicide. He jumped off a tall building. He lives far away overseas so there's not even anything my family can do until he's cremated and his ashes are sent to us I guess.

I was planning on possibly ctb by jumping so this hit me hard, seeing my family cry and mourn over him. Makes me feel guilty for even thinking about it, idk.

Suicidal tendencies can be inherited according to scientific data and research being made on it https://www.hhs.gov/answers/mental-...-the-risk-for-suicide-be-inherited/index.html

It runs in my family too and all my exes who were suicidal had suicide running in their families also.

 

[snailboy]

Suicidal tendencies can be inherited according to scientific data and research being made on it https://www.hhs.gov/answers/mental-...-the-risk-for-suicide-be-inherited/index.html

It runs in my family too and all my exes who were suicidal had suicide running in their families also.

i figured, my family seems to have a history of mental illness and it's pretty evident even in those that are undiagnosed. my dad has pretty bad anxiety and panic attacks so im pretty sure that passed on to me lol

 

[Tobacco]

my condolences. seeing others reaction to my death is why im still here. so i understand your guilt

My family is the main reason I'm still here. I feel trapped.

 

[lifeisabuse]

My family is the main reason I'm still here. I feel trapped.

Same here. While at the hospital mourning a family members suicide, I made a promise to my cousin who said he would promise to never kill himself, to spare the family of this grief again.

I don't think I can keep that promise, as much as I want to.

Yet every time I start to feel bad, I feel even worse for breaking my promise to get better. Why would I make such a stupid choice like saying something like that out loud to another person when I know I can't keep the promise ?

It haunts me.