I have no reason to stay here any longer. It was stupid, but I stayed because of my girlfriend. She means the world to me, and she decided an hour ago that she didn't see the point anymore. I think it hurt more that she knows I want to ctb and still left me. She said she hasn't felt right in a while, an it's her choice. I just don't know if she realises how close I was. So, in the next few weeks, or maybe after Christmas, I gotta get this sorted. I have an idea and a very rough plan, it time for the details. Or, it's time for someone to notice my shit and send me to fucking hospital. Either way, I want to die. or rather, I want to not live. I just don't care anymore. anyone else find they see a difference in wanting to die and wanting to not live/exist? because I find the difference between the two is so very vast.
BurningLights
He killed himself with his own mind
- Jul 2, 2018
- 709
Sorry about your situation, I totally agree, the difference is vast.
I haven't wanted to exist in a long, maybe longer than I think, I always wanted things to be different, ALWAYS. However wanting to die is a passing feeling, it comes and goes. Its easy to get them confused, I think that may be the reason some of us fail and can't CTB, we thought we wanted to die, but we just don't want the life we have.
I haven't wanted to exist in a long, maybe longer than I think, I always wanted things to be different, ALWAYS. However wanting to die is a passing feeling, it comes and goes. Its easy to get them confused, I think that may be the reason some of us fail and can't CTB, we thought we wanted to die, but we just don't want the life we have.
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