lemmeeleev
Still here
- Nov 29, 2018
- 927
Sorry, I'm kind of all over here. I'm just thinking and typing, so it went all over the place. I have no where else to go, and I'm just writing my thoughts down.
None of this matters. It doesn't matter what I do or don't do. It doesn't matter what I say or don't say. It doesn't matter how much I know, how many people I've met, how I did in school. It doesn't matter how I die, when I die, how long it takes to die. Absolutely nothing matters, because it will always end in death. Everyone will die, everyone living right now, and ever will live will die. Everyone leads to the same fate. I don't get how people think life is so special, and will preserve it no matter what. It's like everyone around me is a mindless robot with a smile painted on their face. They all think they are immortal, unless they are dying or suicidal. If you're healthy physically and mentally, then you don't think about dying or existing or any of that. But what's the point? A lifetime is absolutely nothing compared to forever. Time goes on forever, it's infinite. Nothing anyone says or does matters. I wish the whole universe would just get destroyed. I probably sound crazy, but if there's no life, there's no pain. All life is is to be born, survive so you can reproduce, then die. If life is not just pain, why do our bodies break down the older we get? We do we all eventually die? It's like life means nothing. Like it has absolutely no value whatsoever. But everyone only knows themself. We only see through our eyes, so how are we to know if the world around us and the people we know are really real? It all feels like a dream, like I'm just going to wake up one day as something else. This life isn't mine, maybe the only way to "wake up" is to die. If this really is my life, I don't want it, it can't be mine. My life isn't even bad, why do I still want to ctb? But then again, I still dont get why people want to live. In a world like this, how can anyone be happy? Even happiness is an illusion. Just a way to trick us into staying alive so we don't end up killing ourselves because there's no reason to be alive. All religions, goals so we can be successful, the idea there is such a thing as love, etc. It's all so we can tell ourselves that there is a reason we are alive when there is none. Everyone's afraid of death. Everyone thinks they will never die unless they are dying or suicidal, like I said before. No one wants to die because it's pain. But life is nothing but pain. As soon as you exist, you are going to experience pain. So why does everyone keep bring more people into this world. I'm sorry if I upset anyone, but why in the world would anyone want to have a child knowing they too will die? Parents want to protect their child no matter what, protect then from pain. But by giving birth to them, they will have to experience pain, and will eventually die just like everyone else. Where's the logic in that? If you don't want more people hurting, wouldn't you not create another human being in the first place? So why does everyone keep having so many children? If they want children, why don't they adopt? Are we all really just programmed the same, just so we can create more of us? What's the point in that? Nobody ever talks about it, I've never heard anyone say anything about any of this irl.
Does anyone agree with any of what I've said, or am I the only one? Because it sure seems like it. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I feel like I shouldn't be in this world. Like I'm not meant to be here. I feel like I'm trapped in this body. It's always wanting something, and is never happy no matter what I do. This thing isn't me, it's a monster. I'm so sick of living.
None of this matters. It doesn't matter what I do or don't do. It doesn't matter what I say or don't say. It doesn't matter how much I know, how many people I've met, how I did in school. It doesn't matter how I die, when I die, how long it takes to die. Absolutely nothing matters, because it will always end in death. Everyone will die, everyone living right now, and ever will live will die. Everyone leads to the same fate. I don't get how people think life is so special, and will preserve it no matter what. It's like everyone around me is a mindless robot with a smile painted on their face. They all think they are immortal, unless they are dying or suicidal. If you're healthy physically and mentally, then you don't think about dying or existing or any of that. But what's the point? A lifetime is absolutely nothing compared to forever. Time goes on forever, it's infinite. Nothing anyone says or does matters. I wish the whole universe would just get destroyed. I probably sound crazy, but if there's no life, there's no pain. All life is is to be born, survive so you can reproduce, then die. If life is not just pain, why do our bodies break down the older we get? We do we all eventually die? It's like life means nothing. Like it has absolutely no value whatsoever. But everyone only knows themself. We only see through our eyes, so how are we to know if the world around us and the people we know are really real? It all feels like a dream, like I'm just going to wake up one day as something else. This life isn't mine, maybe the only way to "wake up" is to die. If this really is my life, I don't want it, it can't be mine. My life isn't even bad, why do I still want to ctb? But then again, I still dont get why people want to live. In a world like this, how can anyone be happy? Even happiness is an illusion. Just a way to trick us into staying alive so we don't end up killing ourselves because there's no reason to be alive. All religions, goals so we can be successful, the idea there is such a thing as love, etc. It's all so we can tell ourselves that there is a reason we are alive when there is none. Everyone's afraid of death. Everyone thinks they will never die unless they are dying or suicidal, like I said before. No one wants to die because it's pain. But life is nothing but pain. As soon as you exist, you are going to experience pain. So why does everyone keep bring more people into this world. I'm sorry if I upset anyone, but why in the world would anyone want to have a child knowing they too will die? Parents want to protect their child no matter what, protect then from pain. But by giving birth to them, they will have to experience pain, and will eventually die just like everyone else. Where's the logic in that? If you don't want more people hurting, wouldn't you not create another human being in the first place? So why does everyone keep having so many children? If they want children, why don't they adopt? Are we all really just programmed the same, just so we can create more of us? What's the point in that? Nobody ever talks about it, I've never heard anyone say anything about any of this irl.
Does anyone agree with any of what I've said, or am I the only one? Because it sure seems like it. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I feel like I shouldn't be in this world. Like I'm not meant to be here. I feel like I'm trapped in this body. It's always wanting something, and is never happy no matter what I do. This thing isn't me, it's a monster. I'm so sick of living.
