Discussion My therapist wants to manipulate / force me into life's goal-seeking behavior but I want to CTB...

[LMFAO FOCKERS]

I would like some opinions both personal (and professional if relevant) regarding a therapist's job as it relates to CTB and therapy.

I am currently 100% sure I will CTB this year. I am clinically depressed and have been for a while. I would call myself functionally depressed for 10 of the past 15 years. Over the last 5 years however I drifted off into completely disabling depression. I rarely get out of bed. I have been through almost all medicines. None of them have worked. I have seen therapists and Drs for almost 20 years and none of the treatment has worked.​

I have 2 therapists. I am actively seeing each for different reasons.

Therapist 1 has "accepted" that I'm going to CTB at some point. Therapist 1 occasionally exercises immediate duty to ask about my plans, etc. I give my canned response which is that I refuse to answer any questions. Nothing can be done so we move on. I am mandated to see Therapist 1 for specific reasons I will not go into (assume that cant change.) I don't talk about anything much with Therapist 1.​

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Therapist 2 whom I've been voluntarily seeing for a few months knows I want to CTB. I believe that Therapist 2 understands my reasons and life but doesnt "GET IT." Therapist 2 really listens and tries to focus on deeper level issues such as abuse, trauma, etc. but I dont care. Therapist 2 expects me to cry etc. about these issues using reading materials, etc. but I dont really care about any of the things that have happened in my life. Some reading materials are ok, others I reject. Therapist 2 is desperately trying to get blood out of a turnip but I am emotionally dead and have been for years.​

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In my last session Therapist 2 indicated that the intent is to push / force me back into chasing or wanting goals in my life like "normal" healthy people do. I think life is a waste of time and goal chasing is meaningless. Therapist 2 stated that anything done in the realm of what I call "manipulation" is supposed to be for my therapeutic benefit. However, I am solely there to talk / dump because I have no one else to talk with. I am very annoyed that the goal is to force me into something I have no interest in...​

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I just realized our interests are NOT aligned. I explained I may not come back. Therapist 2 insists I return.​

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TL;DR:

1. Would you continue going to a therapist that is forcing you to do something you have no interest in doing?
2. Would you just utilize therapy for your purpose of dumping and ignore their plan; or would you discontinue therapy with that practitioner all together?
3. Is manipulation just part of their job?

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[Pinkdonut]

I see a therapist even though I plan to CBT very soon. My reasons are purely to dump my crap and go, dump my crap and go and so on. I don't want or expect her to help me solve my problems or help me see the light and love life.
So to answer your question, my personally, i would see the therapist and ignore what they are trying to force upon myself.. there is a reason you go in the first place so you must get something from it even something small with therapist 2.

 

[k75]

I would get a different therapist. It's your care, and if they aren't willing to take your needs and wants into consideration, there's no reason to stay with them. She can't just insist you keep seeing her. That's your choice, not hers.

I don't think any sort of manipulation is just part of the job. That's a sign that they just don't know what to do and are out of ideas. It's also possibly a sign of inexperience. Or maybe they just don't care.

But good therapists who will work with you do exist. The best I've had asked me upfront what's worked for me and how I'd like to do things. My current therapist specifically asked if I just wanted to talk to her and have her listen or get her input or if I wanted to actively work on things in a different way. That impressed me. But at the same time, if I knew what I needed, maybe I wouldn't need to see her. Some sort of balance must exist.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

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1. Would you continue going to a therapist that is forcing you to do something you have no interest in doing?​

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2. Would you just utilize therapy for your purpose of dumping and ignore their plan; or would you discontinue therapy with that practitioner all together?​

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3. Is manipulation just part of their job?​

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Changed bullets to numbers.​

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1. No. The therapist serves me, not the other way around. Forcing me to do something negates and overrides my autonomy and boundaries. Got enough of that shit from my parents....free of charge. My motto is, people who like/love me, like/love my boundaries. People who dislike/hate my boundaries, dislike/hate me.​

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2. I would find another practitioner with whom I resonated and who showed me respect. The dumping should feel rewarding and freeing to me. I could call a hotline and dump from the comfort of my own home or use a forum.​

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3. No. Practicing healthy boundaries is part of their job. Manipulation is other-control and an overriding of boundaries. Manipulation is part of a politician's or an attorney's job.​

 

[LMFAO FOCKERS]

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Changed bullets to numbers.​

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1. No. The therapist serves me, not the other way around. Forcing me to do something negates and overrides my autonomy and boundaries. Got enough of that shit from my parents....free of charge. My motto is, people who like/love me, like/love my boundaries. People who dislike/hate my boundaries, dislike/hate me.​

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2. I would find another practitioner with whom I resonated and who showed me respect. The dumping should feel rewarding and freeing to me. I could call a hotline and dump from the comfort of my own home or use a forum.​

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3. No. Practicing healthy boundaries is part of their job. Manipulation is other-control and an overriding of boundaries. Manipulation is part of a politician's or an attorney's job.​

This is EXACTLY what I was thinking but I wasn't sure if I was being irrational. THANK YOU!!!!!

 

[Dystopic_Momento]

Was surprised at the above answers.

I didn't think therapists existed who wouldn't manipulate, force you to change your mind, turn you in like you're a danger, ignore it because they think you're lying, or immediately diagnose you with some fresh new thing based solely on mentioning CTB.

But I just did a websearch and it looks like things are maybe changing:
https://www.madinamerica.com/2020/01/new-approaches-working-with-suicidal-people/