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Draconian Alone
Member
- Jul 20, 2024
- 7
I was talking to my therapist about the nightmares I've been having. They're usually pretty violent and have elaborate plots. She said that if you have violent thoughts it'll affect your dreams. She finally pressured me into telling the truth about how I have violent thoughts. I just have them to cope with the loneliness. And I like the anger, it keeps me sharp. But after I admitted I have violent fantasies, I had to practical grovel and downplay them, saying bullshit like, "but I know I'll never act on them!" And, "If it becomes more intense, I'll get actual help!"
Then, she said the thoughts were okay because they were a coping mechanism for my isolation. She promised not to tell anyone. She also said I'm really creative and I can use this stuff in my stories.
Fuck! Is she trying to trap me into a situation I can't escape? How do I gaslight her into not thinking I have these thought?! At the end of the session, I thought she was gonna write this stuff down in a file or database or something, but when I asked, she joked, "oh I'm gonna call the police and they're gonna arrest you" I scowled and walked out of the office.
Then, she said the thoughts were okay because they were a coping mechanism for my isolation. She promised not to tell anyone. She also said I'm really creative and I can use this stuff in my stories.
Fuck! Is she trying to trap me into a situation I can't escape? How do I gaslight her into not thinking I have these thought?! At the end of the session, I thought she was gonna write this stuff down in a file or database or something, but when I asked, she joked, "oh I'm gonna call the police and they're gonna arrest you" I scowled and walked out of the office.