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Animaniax

Member
Nov 25, 2024
20
I said something inappropriate but that wasn't my intent. I have ocd and I was trying to prevent a future problem. I do that, but what I bring up isn't usually a problem so my attempt to fix it blows up in my face.

My therapist was super important to me, but she won't see or speak to me. All I got was an email. I've been emailing trying to fix everything but she tells me to stop and talk to her supervisor or she'll report me. I'm devastated. I can't move on. The supervisor isn't helpful. Now they both are telling me to stop. All I want is a closing conversation.

And I live in my car as of late which isn't helping matters. I'm completely isolated. And now it's like I don't want to die because this situation is nagging at me constantly. There's nothing to move onto.

This happened weeks ago and every day it's super painful. I have ptsd so broken attachments is especially painful.

What's weird is she could be really kind and caring and then cold and mean. It was confusing. But not always in the same sessions
 
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Nikki_Music

Nikki_Music

I only paint in red now
Sep 28, 2024
35
A lot of therapists are useless. They either shouldn't be therapists or will drop you the second you express anything beyond feeling sad occasionally. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
 
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Animaniax

Member
Nov 25, 2024
20
A lot of therapists are useless. They either shouldn't be therapists or will drop you the second you express anything beyond feeling sad occasionally. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Thank you. It's hard because she was my only social connection while living in an abusive environment. Now I have no one and live in my car which is unpredictable. I'm thinking of suicide but I really just want to see her again more than I want death.
 
savory

savory

Member
Nov 25, 2024
20
It's a hard realization that therapists are human beings of various dispositions, limitations, and motivations for getting/staying in their field of work. I don't know about anyone else, but no one cautioned me of that when I was a young teen going into therapy. The impression I got was that I'm sick and they are not. They're enlightened/superior beings and my issues won't phase them (unless I mention a plan to CTB or am in danger/danger to someone else).

The innate power dynamic in therapy is problematic, though, and especially risky for you the "consumer". I don't care much what you said that was taken as inappropriate because I feel it's more important to simply support you because you're the one here and clearly in distress.

I'm sorry you're having such a time, therapists turning against you is a special kind of betrayal. Particularly when they can put whatever information they want on your medical record and that can be used against you. Be safe
Thank you. It's hard because she was my only social connection while living in an abusive environment. Now I have no one and live in my car which is unpredictable. I'm thinking of suicide but I really just want to see her again more than I want death.
This also. Therapy can foster emotional dependency and therapists are taught to temper this, to have boundaries and remain some degree of detached to prevent these kind of outcomes. It sounds like she ought to have referred you to someone else before it got to this point.
 
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Animaniax

Member
Nov 25, 2024
20
It's a hard realization that therapists are human beings of various dispositions, limitations, and motivations for getting/staying in their field of work. I don't know about anyone else, but no one cautioned me of that when I was a young teen going into therapy. The impression I got was that I'm sick and they are not. They're enlightened/superior beings and my issues won't phase them (unless I mention a plan to CTB or am in danger/danger to someone else).

The innate power dynamic in therapy is problematic, though, and especially risky for you the "consumer". I don't care much what you said that was taken as inappropriate because I feel it's more important to simply support you because you're the one here and clearly in distress.

I'm sorry you're having such a time, therapists turning against you is a special kind of betrayal. Particularly when they can put whatever information they want on your medical record and that can be used against you.
I talked with another therapist who said she would've asked for an explanation before dropping me. She also said I was too attached to her and it was hurting me. She became my reason for living. But her unwillingness to talk with me just one more time doesn't make sense. She really cared and knew this would destroy me. The therapist said it's not her. It's her supervisor taking control of the situation. It doesn't matter. It's still killing me daily. I don't know to recover from this.
It's a hard realization that therapists are human beings of various dispositions, limitations, and motivations for getting/staying in their field of work. I don't know about anyone else, but no one cautioned me of that when I was a young teen going into therapy. The impression I got was that I'm sick and they are not. They're enlightened/superior beings and my issues won't phase them (unless I mention a plan to CTB or am in danger/danger to someone else).

The innate power dynamic in therapy is problematic, though, and especially risky for you the "consumer". I don't care much what you said that was taken as inappropriate because I feel it's more important to simply support you because you're the one here and clearly in distress.

I'm sorry you're having such a time, therapists turning against you is a special kind of betrayal. Particularly when they can put whatever information they want on your medical record and that can be used against you. Be safe

This also. Therapy can foster emotional dependency and therapists are taught to temper this, to have boundaries and remain some degree of detached to prevent these kind of outcomes. It sounds like she ought to have referred you to someone else before it got to this point.
She didn't start with boundaries until almost a year into it. Imagine being close and then she suddenly becomes cold and distant. I said she seemed cold and she said, "That's your perception." I guess but not necessarily wrong either.
 
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