antinatalist
Shoot me if I'm still here in July
- Jun 2, 2021
- 11
Hey everyone!
I've only discovered SS last week and I've been looking around, reading all your posts and it's been very comforting. I've never found a group of people who can relate to me and what I'm going through as much as you guys. I've also come across some goodbye posts that have been absolutely heartbreaking. My only hope is that everyone finds peace the way they want.
I want to share my story and how I got to be here. I come from a very ordinary, seemingly perfect family with two extremely loving parents and an equally amazing brother. My brother has always been extremely intelligent and better than me in all ways. Because of that I started to develop a feeling of inferiority and not being good enough from a young age. Although my parents were extremely supportive of me and never compared me to my brother, I always felt like I was the black sheep of the family. Although I might seem like a high-achieving person to everybody else I was never happy with any of my accomplishments. I could never live up to my own expectations for myself and for whatever reason that led me to be depressed for the past 6 or so years. And now I have reached a point in my life where I have made many mistakes I continued to make them and I continue to hit rock bottom one after another. I have been dishonest and deceitful to the people I love the most. Things have been getting so bad consistently that I no longer see any point in living. there is nothing that I do that I enjoy anymore and I don't see myself being happy in the future.
one of my favourite movies (and book) was "it's kind of a funny story". I always feel like the writer, Ned Vizzini knew exactly what depression was and his books always ge me hope for recovering from depression. ln 2015 I decided to look up what he was up to and I found out that he had killed himself by jumping off a building two years before. this was a huge shock to me and ever since then I knew that someday the same fate awaits me. it seems like that time has come for me. I've decided to CTB by the end of this month. The reassurance that my suffering is gonna come to an end has alleviated the much of my anxiety. SS has helped me a lot in that respect. So thank you to all you guys who share your stories and RIP to our fallen friends.
I've only discovered SS last week and I've been looking around, reading all your posts and it's been very comforting. I've never found a group of people who can relate to me and what I'm going through as much as you guys. I've also come across some goodbye posts that have been absolutely heartbreaking. My only hope is that everyone finds peace the way they want.
I want to share my story and how I got to be here. I come from a very ordinary, seemingly perfect family with two extremely loving parents and an equally amazing brother. My brother has always been extremely intelligent and better than me in all ways. Because of that I started to develop a feeling of inferiority and not being good enough from a young age. Although my parents were extremely supportive of me and never compared me to my brother, I always felt like I was the black sheep of the family. Although I might seem like a high-achieving person to everybody else I was never happy with any of my accomplishments. I could never live up to my own expectations for myself and for whatever reason that led me to be depressed for the past 6 or so years. And now I have reached a point in my life where I have made many mistakes I continued to make them and I continue to hit rock bottom one after another. I have been dishonest and deceitful to the people I love the most. Things have been getting so bad consistently that I no longer see any point in living. there is nothing that I do that I enjoy anymore and I don't see myself being happy in the future.
one of my favourite movies (and book) was "it's kind of a funny story". I always feel like the writer, Ned Vizzini knew exactly what depression was and his books always ge me hope for recovering from depression. ln 2015 I decided to look up what he was up to and I found out that he had killed himself by jumping off a building two years before. this was a huge shock to me and ever since then I knew that someday the same fate awaits me. it seems like that time has come for me. I've decided to CTB by the end of this month. The reassurance that my suffering is gonna come to an end has alleviated the much of my anxiety. SS has helped me a lot in that respect. So thank you to all you guys who share your stories and RIP to our fallen friends.
