de_sparrow
NowIKnow
- Jan 25, 2020
- 2
Hi. I have just joined and am relieved to have found a place to be amongst others, even if meeting here isn't under the best circumstances. I am in my 40's and for as long as I can remember, I have never been "happy". At one point I was successful and high-functioning, however, due to increasing emotional and physical pain (stenosis in neck due to degenerative disk disease and trauma)it is all I can do to care for my three dogs, whom I love so very dearly that they are most of the reason why I am still here.
Been in therapy off and on since age of 15, and prescribed everything from Amitriptoline at 16 to Cymbalta at 35. Currently taking Wellbutrin for depression and Xanax for anxiety, and am also prescribed pain medication. Ironically, I am very careful in taking pain meds after I learned the hard way not to go through them too soon.
Opiate withdrawal is so bad that trying to CTB via O.D. scares the bejeez out of me. If I tried and failed, I would be screwed.
I have self medicated all my life as well.
My outside support network is nill with the exception of my childhood friend who knows, but doesn't really get how serious I am. My boyfriend and I have drifted apart, and when I expressed to him—let's just say that he compares himself to Homer Simpson. He and I are total opposites as far as depth goes. The most he said was that maybe I should talk to someone. That's what brought me here.
Been in therapy off and on since age of 15, and prescribed everything from Amitriptoline at 16 to Cymbalta at 35. Currently taking Wellbutrin for depression and Xanax for anxiety, and am also prescribed pain medication. Ironically, I am very careful in taking pain meds after I learned the hard way not to go through them too soon.
Opiate withdrawal is so bad that trying to CTB via O.D. scares the bejeez out of me. If I tried and failed, I would be screwed.
I have self medicated all my life as well.
My outside support network is nill with the exception of my childhood friend who knows, but doesn't really get how serious I am. My boyfriend and I have drifted apart, and when I expressed to him—let's just say that he compares himself to Homer Simpson. He and I are total opposites as far as depth goes. The most he said was that maybe I should talk to someone. That's what brought me here.
