In 2024, me and my ex broke up after a 3 years long relationship. Things were hurting, but me and him were going to heal eventually. He said that maybe me and him could double date when we find someone. He let me ring him whenever I needed to cry...
I miss those days. Even though we broke up, things were normal. I would spend hours online, listening to music and buying myself nice things.
It was 3 weeks into healing when he video called me. I didn't know why he was calling me, but I answered it...
He was in tears and told me he made a mistake, that he still loved me and wanted to get back together. But he couldn't, because we needed to fix things and he told his parents that we'd already split up. His mum didn't want us to get back together.
At this point, I was still freshly healing but he put an end to the break up. Finally, I had my ex back!
He said that if I fixed things, then in a few months he could finally tell his parents we were back together. Our game was to pretend to be friends.
He gave me a list of things to fix, small things but easily doable. I looked at that list and treated it seriously...
I saved up more money, held down a job (after suffering from severe anxiety) and even brought an Xbox One same day delivery so we could play games together.
But this is when things changed, all of a sudden he was cold and distant. He needed space, but whenever I asked him "are we still together? I'm scared" he'd reassure me and tell me we were.
Whenever I am stressed, I lose my appetite and I couldn't sleep at night. I showed him my arms getting skinnier and he told me to "eat a fucking sandwich" and that he "can't make me eat when I want to starve myself, and to see a doctor."
He started to cut off affection. No longer could we video call and he hid me from his parents. Whenever I told him he was hurting me, he'd tell me to be more happy and that I wasn't respecting his emotions.
Now I want to make this very clear, please do not read on if you don't believe in spirits. I have been told that I put people off, speaking about demons and spirits. I've been questioned if I have schizophrenia.
I don't think I have schizophrenia. I just believe in ghosts and got caught up in a situation I never wanted to be in. I've been assessed by a therapist who believes my situation isn't related to psychology at all. I have had an adult social worker who closed my case in one week, because I never needed care.
Now, during our relationship my ex claimed he had something dark attached to him. I didn't think much of it. But he said something had been tormenting him for years. At some point during those 8 weeks of fixing things, I started to feel extremely drained. Not in a normal emotive way, but all of a sudden I felt too weak to walk and could barely stand up.
I started to feel something physically draining me. It felt like a pull and at one point I was hunched over on the floor... one day I woke up with severe palpitations and my heart rate went into the 210s. It was terrifying and I was scared I was going to die.
At one point, I started to develop a fever that wouldn't break. My ex began to develop one too, we wasn't around one another so it wasn't sickness. Other things began to happen, halfway through all of this my mum's personality altered. One day I was talking to my ex, and my mum across the room told me that "I feel a dark presence should I burn some sage?" days later she'd become very abusive towards me.
I was starved by her, called pathetic and treated horribly. Weeks before this, she would offer to take me on holiday so I can forget about my ex and didn't want to leave me at home alone. She changed, just like that.
My ex ended up doing curse work when he was a teenager, he went through a dark phase and would curse those who wronged him. I think this is when the spirit eventually attached to him, others claim that he willingly invited it in.
Whatever it was, I believe started to haunt me somewhere between being emotionally neglected by him and put under a lot of stress. My ex knew my mum was abusing me and offered a safe place to live, only to take it back later on. He thought the hospital stays were just for attention, that I was guilt tripping him into taking me back.
My ex since then, has left me to my own devices. He knows that it has been draining my dopamine, he's aware of how much I've been struggling but is no longer willing to help me. Whenever I tell him how much he's hurt me, he becomes defense and tells me I don't appreciate anything he's done for me. But it isn't the truth.
All I ever wanted was a boyfriend and a baby. That's all I've wanted for the last 3 years this has gone on for, I've been fighting so long and hard.
For some reason, the spirits attacks are personal. Whenever I try to talk to a man I like, it shuts my thoughts down so I can't speak to him. It makes it so no bond ever forms. It isn't an anxiety of mine and I'll never ever claim it, not on my corpse.
People make out I'm crazy, but the truth is... I'm not. I'm just a regular person with a spirit that won't leave her alone. I didn't do anything to deserve this... when my ex told me he had something dark attached, I never judged him or dismissed him. I just listened.
There's more, but I'm too scared to talk about it. It isn't easy talking about things others think are make believe or mental health related.
I'm just so tired...
Feel free to ask questions if you want more info...
EDIT: for more info... my ex knows I've got a spirit attached to me. In the past he's tried to help with wards which worked for a while, even doing a banishment. The banishment backfired horribly. I got hurt while he managed to recover.
Nowadays, it tries to make me live in isolation. It punishes me by not letting me watch TV or listen to music, by slowly draining my dopamine and increasing stress levels. I'm not stressed because I'm stressed, but because the entity feeds on positive emotions. The only way my dopamine steadily returns is when I don't watch TV or listen to music, just doing nothing.
Last year I tried to go offline for 4 months, to see if my dopamine and spiritual defenses would come back enough to push the spirit off. It didn't work. Once I came back online things worsened slowly.
It causes my POTS symptoms to flare up and I get palpitations daily. I've been to a spiritualist for this, who did reiki, energy healing and a full reset. This only worked temporarily and I suddenly felt a weight lifted off my shoulders, the spirit wasn't there. Until I came back home and felt the darkness creep back in.
Everything that's happening feels so in line with what my ex thinks or feels. I can't find a date or a relationship easily, whereas before I had no issues dating or finding love. This is because if I had love, it'd be such a pure level of energy that the spirit wouldn't be able to live. Whereas my ex is able to move on and find someone immediately.
He knows that for 3 years I haven't lived, only existed. He's aware that I can't date because the spirit blocks my thoughts so I can't even share with a guy who I am. He's aware that it drains my dopamine and causes my health to worsen. But he doesn't care any more.
I can't find any other help for this, because when I have tried to... people either assume it's my ex doing this (he's put a ghost onto you, he doesn't want you to find anyone because he wants you to himself - which isn't the case) or they downplay the spirit's impact and abilities.
This spirit, was likely attached to my ex, and if so he's the only one who understands it enough. Which hurts a lot, because he's the last person I want in my life. I don't even love him any more. I don't want him, yet I can't get away.
All the talk about ghosts is too much. I was never heavily into witchcraft, I was forced to look into it. I was forced into focusing on ghosts, when all I want is a normal life again.
When we first broke up, things were normal. I was doing normal things, relaxing and I had a future.
It isn't even caused by trauma, because I've been through far worse. I've seen my mum get kidnapped. I've never been like this before.
I have a lot of happiness, but it gets drained by the entity. I have a lot of love and joy, but it gets drained.
My ex has left me to rot.
I miss those days. Even though we broke up, things were normal. I would spend hours online, listening to music and buying myself nice things.
It was 3 weeks into healing when he video called me. I didn't know why he was calling me, but I answered it...
He was in tears and told me he made a mistake, that he still loved me and wanted to get back together. But he couldn't, because we needed to fix things and he told his parents that we'd already split up. His mum didn't want us to get back together.
At this point, I was still freshly healing but he put an end to the break up. Finally, I had my ex back!
He said that if I fixed things, then in a few months he could finally tell his parents we were back together. Our game was to pretend to be friends.
He gave me a list of things to fix, small things but easily doable. I looked at that list and treated it seriously...
I saved up more money, held down a job (after suffering from severe anxiety) and even brought an Xbox One same day delivery so we could play games together.
But this is when things changed, all of a sudden he was cold and distant. He needed space, but whenever I asked him "are we still together? I'm scared" he'd reassure me and tell me we were.
Whenever I am stressed, I lose my appetite and I couldn't sleep at night. I showed him my arms getting skinnier and he told me to "eat a fucking sandwich" and that he "can't make me eat when I want to starve myself, and to see a doctor."
He started to cut off affection. No longer could we video call and he hid me from his parents. Whenever I told him he was hurting me, he'd tell me to be more happy and that I wasn't respecting his emotions.
Now I want to make this very clear, please do not read on if you don't believe in spirits. I have been told that I put people off, speaking about demons and spirits. I've been questioned if I have schizophrenia.
I don't think I have schizophrenia. I just believe in ghosts and got caught up in a situation I never wanted to be in. I've been assessed by a therapist who believes my situation isn't related to psychology at all. I have had an adult social worker who closed my case in one week, because I never needed care.
Now, during our relationship my ex claimed he had something dark attached to him. I didn't think much of it. But he said something had been tormenting him for years. At some point during those 8 weeks of fixing things, I started to feel extremely drained. Not in a normal emotive way, but all of a sudden I felt too weak to walk and could barely stand up.
I started to feel something physically draining me. It felt like a pull and at one point I was hunched over on the floor... one day I woke up with severe palpitations and my heart rate went into the 210s. It was terrifying and I was scared I was going to die.
At one point, I started to develop a fever that wouldn't break. My ex began to develop one too, we wasn't around one another so it wasn't sickness. Other things began to happen, halfway through all of this my mum's personality altered. One day I was talking to my ex, and my mum across the room told me that "I feel a dark presence should I burn some sage?" days later she'd become very abusive towards me.
I was starved by her, called pathetic and treated horribly. Weeks before this, she would offer to take me on holiday so I can forget about my ex and didn't want to leave me at home alone. She changed, just like that.
My ex ended up doing curse work when he was a teenager, he went through a dark phase and would curse those who wronged him. I think this is when the spirit eventually attached to him, others claim that he willingly invited it in.
Whatever it was, I believe started to haunt me somewhere between being emotionally neglected by him and put under a lot of stress. My ex knew my mum was abusing me and offered a safe place to live, only to take it back later on. He thought the hospital stays were just for attention, that I was guilt tripping him into taking me back.
My ex since then, has left me to my own devices. He knows that it has been draining my dopamine, he's aware of how much I've been struggling but is no longer willing to help me. Whenever I tell him how much he's hurt me, he becomes defense and tells me I don't appreciate anything he's done for me. But it isn't the truth.
All I ever wanted was a boyfriend and a baby. That's all I've wanted for the last 3 years this has gone on for, I've been fighting so long and hard.
For some reason, the spirits attacks are personal. Whenever I try to talk to a man I like, it shuts my thoughts down so I can't speak to him. It makes it so no bond ever forms. It isn't an anxiety of mine and I'll never ever claim it, not on my corpse.
People make out I'm crazy, but the truth is... I'm not. I'm just a regular person with a spirit that won't leave her alone. I didn't do anything to deserve this... when my ex told me he had something dark attached, I never judged him or dismissed him. I just listened.
There's more, but I'm too scared to talk about it. It isn't easy talking about things others think are make believe or mental health related.
I'm just so tired...
Feel free to ask questions if you want more info...
EDIT: for more info... my ex knows I've got a spirit attached to me. In the past he's tried to help with wards which worked for a while, even doing a banishment. The banishment backfired horribly. I got hurt while he managed to recover.
Nowadays, it tries to make me live in isolation. It punishes me by not letting me watch TV or listen to music, by slowly draining my dopamine and increasing stress levels. I'm not stressed because I'm stressed, but because the entity feeds on positive emotions. The only way my dopamine steadily returns is when I don't watch TV or listen to music, just doing nothing.
Last year I tried to go offline for 4 months, to see if my dopamine and spiritual defenses would come back enough to push the spirit off. It didn't work. Once I came back online things worsened slowly.
It causes my POTS symptoms to flare up and I get palpitations daily. I've been to a spiritualist for this, who did reiki, energy healing and a full reset. This only worked temporarily and I suddenly felt a weight lifted off my shoulders, the spirit wasn't there. Until I came back home and felt the darkness creep back in.
Everything that's happening feels so in line with what my ex thinks or feels. I can't find a date or a relationship easily, whereas before I had no issues dating or finding love. This is because if I had love, it'd be such a pure level of energy that the spirit wouldn't be able to live. Whereas my ex is able to move on and find someone immediately.
He knows that for 3 years I haven't lived, only existed. He's aware that I can't date because the spirit blocks my thoughts so I can't even share with a guy who I am. He's aware that it drains my dopamine and causes my health to worsen. But he doesn't care any more.
I can't find any other help for this, because when I have tried to... people either assume it's my ex doing this (he's put a ghost onto you, he doesn't want you to find anyone because he wants you to himself - which isn't the case) or they downplay the spirit's impact and abilities.
This spirit, was likely attached to my ex, and if so he's the only one who understands it enough. Which hurts a lot, because he's the last person I want in my life. I don't even love him any more. I don't want him, yet I can't get away.
All the talk about ghosts is too much. I was never heavily into witchcraft, I was forced to look into it. I was forced into focusing on ghosts, when all I want is a normal life again.
When we first broke up, things were normal. I was doing normal things, relaxing and I had a future.
It isn't even caused by trauma, because I've been through far worse. I've seen my mum get kidnapped. I've never been like this before.
I have a lot of happiness, but it gets drained by the entity. I have a lot of love and joy, but it gets drained.
My ex has left me to rot.
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