Venting My soulmate died

[lueffy]

hello everyone ! this is kind of a story/venting. i'm not really sure how to start this, but here goes.

my entire life i've struggled with depression and suicidal ideation by myself. it's never been too bad just thinking life is pointless and if i was gone tomorrow i'd be okay with that. 3 weeks ago on easter, also my birthday which is honestly a small detail but i feel like it illustrates how f-ed up life can be, my boyfriend/soulmate died. from what we know rn he was out drinking with his "friends" and they found fluid in his lungs which his mom who's a nurse thinks means he aspirated on vomit. it's been incredibly frustrating for me bc no one called 911, they left him on his back, and his one "friend" told someone they didn't need to take him to the hospital bc he'd sleep it off. he was the only person i'd ever told about my feelings and he was my rock and so supportive of me all the time. now with him gone i find it so hard to want to keep going. i co-signed on his car so now i have two car payments. i got waitlisted for nursing school, i was hoping that getting in would force me to keep trying. i'm in so much debt from my first degree. my parents love me and want to help me, but i don't want to be helped. i feel so bad bc i know if i left it would crush them. but i also don't want to keep living in pain and with these feelings of hopelessness.

 

[LMLN]

I am so so sorry for your loss. I lost my soulmate and husband a year ago. It's horrible. Do you have nay support or grief groups to help you at this time? It has helped me, although nothing has taken away the pain.
We are here to talk. I'm so so sorry.

 

[Schweppes]

So sorry for your loss x x

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is losing a soul mate. I lost my soul mate to suicide and nothing will ever replace him - It's so hard not having the only person you can talk to by your side. It's ok to feel whatever you are feeling. I hope you remember to look after yourself by drinking water and getting some food. Maybe watch your favorite film and have a good cry whilst eating ice cream. I remember when I first found out and I was so numb that I didn't know where I was and barely ate for 3 months. I'm here if you need to talk.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

hello everyone ! this is kind of a story/venting. i'm not really sure how to start this, but here goes.

my entire life i've struggled with depression and suicidal ideation by myself. it's never been too bad just thinking life is pointless and if i was gone tomorrow i'd be okay with that. 3 weeks ago on easter, also my birthday which is honestly a small detail but i feel like it illustrates how f-ed up life can be, my boyfriend/soulmate died. from what we know rn he was out drinking with his "friends" and they found fluid in his lungs which his mom who's a nurse thinks means he aspirated on vomit. it's been incredibly frustrating for me bc no one called 911, they left him on his back, and his one "friend" told someone they didn't need to take him to the hospital bc he'd sleep it off. he was the only person i'd ever told about my feelings and he was my rock and so supportive of me all the time. now with him gone i find it so hard to want to keep going. i co-signed on his car so now i have two car payments. i got waitlisted for nursing school, i was hoping that getting in would force me to keep trying. i'm in so much debt from my first degree. my parents love me and want to help me, but i don't want to be helped. i feel so bad bc i know if i left it would crush them. but i also don't want to keep living in pain and with these feelings of hopelessness.

So sorry for your loss. I don't really have any good advice. I hope you can find peace whatever you decide. Your boyfriend had shitty friends.
How could they at least not turn him over ??? It's a wonder there aren't legal ramifications ???

 

[Deleted member 14177]

I'm so so sorry for your loss. I know there are no words that will ever feel healing enough. Just want to offer you many hugs.

 

[lueffy]

So sorry for your loss. I don't really have any good advice. I hope you can find peace whatever you decide. Your boyfriend had shitty friends.
How could they at least not turn him over ??? It's a wonder there aren't legal ramifications ???

we're still waiting for the official cause but the police were over his house that day so i think they are investigating. they were!!! i wish i would've seen that before hand. this was completely preventable smh

 

[NekoNomNom]

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what that must feel like. I hope one way or another that you'll be okay.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I'm so sorry for your devastating loss. I can't imagine how that must have felt and I wish I had all the answers for you as to what to do. Honestly, I'd say just try and give it a little more time. Grieving needs time, healing needs time. I'm sure he'd want you to live on. The option to ctb will always be there though if you feel like you just cannot keep pushing on. Sending you all my love

 

[KleinerWolf]

hello everyone ! this is kind of a story/venting. i'm not really sure how to start this, but here goes.

my entire life i've struggled with depression and suicidal ideation by myself. it's never been too bad just thinking life is pointless and if i was gone tomorrow i'd be okay with that. 3 weeks ago on easter, also my birthday which is honestly a small detail but i feel like it illustrates how f-ed up life can be, my boyfriend/soulmate died. from what we know rn he was out drinking with his "friends" and they found fluid in his lungs which his mom who's a nurse thinks means he aspirated on vomit. it's been incredibly frustrating for me bc no one called 911, they left him on his back, and his one "friend" told someone they didn't need to take him to the hospital bc he'd sleep it off. he was the only person i'd ever told about my feelings and he was my rock and so supportive of me all the time. now with him gone i find it so hard to want to keep going. i co-signed on his car so now i have two car payments. i got waitlisted for nursing school, i was hoping that getting in would force me to keep trying. i'm in so much debt from my first degree. my parents love me and want to help me, but i don't want to be helped. i feel so bad bc i know if i left it would crush them. but i also don't want to keep living in pain and with these feelings of hopelessness.

Dear lueffy,

I'm so sorry for your loss, it is heartbreaking for you as much as for us, hearing how much a rock he represents in your life.
His friends are not the best and for the rest of their lives, they will have the consequences of knowing they contributed to the death of your bf.

It is a tragic situation, but in this difficult time, you need to acknowledge that when a person passes away, a part of us dies with them.
It's normal for you to grief but please don't feel obliged to put a timeframe on how long you should heal because the wounds take months, years to heal.

Talk to your parents.
Ask them for help, during this difficult time, especially emotional support.
Your parents are there for you. Just like you will be there for them.

Things are upside down, but bit by bit, you will get through it.
It's only been 3 weeks, but it's a heartbreaking event, anyone in your situation will be devastated, I can only imagine how strong you are and the immense strength you have shown.

Please talk to your parents. They will understand
and they will offer you support like the lighthouse,
guiding you through this difficult time towards safety and recovery.

I believe in you.
You are strong enough to get through this!

 

[Lorntroubles]

I don't know what to say to make it better. It's one of the most painful things a person can go through. You're not alone. Plenty of us are willing to help you compartmentalize your pain if you allow it. Take care.

 

[Lostandfound7]

hello everyone ! this is kind of a story/venting. i'm not really sure how to start this, but here goes.

my entire life i've struggled with depression and suicidal ideation by myself. it's never been too bad just thinking life is pointless and if i was gone tomorrow i'd be okay with that. 3 weeks ago on easter, also my birthday which is honestly a small detail but i feel like it illustrates how f-ed up life can be, my boyfriend/soulmate died. from what we know rn he was out drinking with his "friends" and they found fluid in his lungs which his mom who's a nurse thinks means he aspirated on vomit. it's been incredibly frustrating for me bc no one called 911, they left him on his back, and his one "friend" told someone they didn't need to take him to the hospital bc he'd sleep it off. he was the only person i'd ever told about my feelings and he was my rock and so supportive of me all the time. now with him gone i find it so hard to want to keep going. i co-signed on his car so now i have two car payments. i got waitlisted for nursing school, i was hoping that getting in would force me to keep trying. i'm in so much debt from my first degree. my parents love me and want to help me, but i don't want to be helped. i feel so bad bc i know if i left it would crush them. but i also don't want to keep living in pain and with these feelings of hopelessness.

OMG honey. I'm so sorry..My heart dropped as I read this cuz it sounds almost identical to how my beloved nephew/son passed on Mar.21. Same thing..He went out drinking with friends n cousins. He was dropped off at his gf house at 2am (he lives with me 45 min away). She said that he got in n woke her up, was talking to her as she got ready for work. They walked outside n he stopped at Rite Aid for a toothbrush, brought her to the train, n went in her apt to sleep. When she got home from work hrs later, he was in the bed. Gone.
When I got the call, my husband n I raced across town n he was laying in the bed on his back. He also vomited n seemed like he had been foaming at the mouth. The coroner called me the next day n said his organs were perfect, he was healthy (physical trainer), but he had fluid on the lungs which could have been from intoxication. We won't know his blood results for at least 3 months..

My deepest condolences. I feel ur pain. Everyday is a struggle. Your sentiments echo those of his gf in losing her best friend n soul mate. Esp since it just makes no sense n so sudden..My heart goes out to u..♡

Feel free to pm me. I'm here if u need me♡

 

[muffin222]

I'm so sorry for your tragic loss. I hope you're not going through this tragedy alone. Please take good care of yourself to the best of your ability during this time

I wish there was more we could do to help you