Smashingairwaves

Smashingairwaves

misery factory
Nov 15, 2018
193
Holy shit, it has arrived. I can't open it until thursday night because my partner is home and I'm not risking it.


I am terrified that this won't work. I have no idea how pure it is. I have no idea how effective this method is. I don't care though, I am determined to go, and this way is minimal hassle.

I am meant to have surgery on the 5th, and I have no idea if I should do it before or after.

If I do it before and it doesn't work then I'll be put in psych, and my surgery will be postponed, leaving me in more pain. When they finally do it they probably won't let me access much pain relief.

If I do it after surgery I'll have to deal with the pain of it. And if it fails I'll be in pain with no pain relief, stuck in an unfamiliar place.

I don't know what to do. What if it doesn't work? What if it damages me and I go blind or some shit? I am very scared.

I was trying not to laugh when the postie arrived. Poor guy had no idea what he was carrying. He was obsessed with my cat though.

I'm scared. I'm so scared
 
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P

Philip

Specialist
Oct 23, 2018
318
I wish you the best of luck whatever you decide to do......I am excited too as mine is going to arrive by the end of the month.....I am a little scared, but I need to try......I am in too much pain
 
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Smashingairwaves

Smashingairwaves

misery factory
Nov 15, 2018
193
I wish you the best of luck whatever you decide to do......I am excited too as mine is going to arrive by the end of the month.....I am a little scared, but I need to try......I am in too much pain
Thank you, and you too. Good luck
 
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meaningisgone

meaningisgone

Student
Feb 17, 2019
112
Have you heard any stories of people surviving and going blind? I don't know much about sodium nitrate yet, but from what I've read it seems like it has a high success rate. I don't really know if I'd use it before or after surgery... Whatever you decide, I truly wish you the best. Someday soon maybe I'll be making a similar post to this, and I am sure I'll have to hold back a laugh when the mail carrier arrives too.
 
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Smashingairwaves

Smashingairwaves

misery factory
Nov 15, 2018
193
Have you heard any stories of people surviving and going blind? I don't know much about sodium nitrate yet, but from what I've read it seems like it has a high success rate. I don't really know if I'd use it before or after surgery... Whatever you decide, I truly wish you the best. Someday soon maybe I'll be making a similar post to this, and I am sure I'll have to hold back a laugh when the mail carrier arrives too.
Never heard of anyone going blind from it, I've just seen failed sucides where people ended up disfigured or wheelchair bound and I'd rather not end up like that. My fear gets the best of me. Thank you for your well wishes though
 
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meaningisgone

meaningisgone

Student
Feb 17, 2019
112
I understand that. I wager I'd be gone by now if it weren't for fear of surviving in a heinously disfigured state. And you're welcome. I gotta say, I get the weirdest feels in this forum. Being able to talk about this stuff without the lingering societal stigma is liberating.
 
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NorthAmericanQc

NorthAmericanQc

Experienced
Feb 5, 2019
227
Never heard of anyone going blind from it, I've just seen failed sucides where people ended up disfigured or wheelchair bound and I'd rather not end up like that. My fear gets the best of me. Thank you for your well wishes though

Disfigured !?!?
 
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W

wiroho

Student
Jan 27, 2019
156
It's good method. Do it before. You have meto?
 
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NorthAmericanQc

NorthAmericanQc

Experienced
Feb 5, 2019
227
Ugh my SN didn't move in two days. Almost three. Stuck in Vancouver.

I hope cold temperatures doesn't affect the quality of SN.
 
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JustOverIt

JustOverIt

Experienced
Nov 8, 2018
270
Holy shit, it has arrived. I can't open it until thursday night because my partner is home and I'm not risking it.


I am terrified that this won't work. I have no idea how pure it is. I have no idea how effective this method is. I don't care though, I am determined to go, and this way is minimal hassle.

I am meant to have surgery on the 5th, and I have no idea if I should do it before or after.

If I do it before and it doesn't work then I'll be put in psych, and my surgery will be postponed, leaving me in more pain. When they finally do it they probably won't let me access much pain relief.

If I do it after surgery I'll have to deal with the pain of it. And if it fails I'll be in pain with no pain relief, stuck in an unfamiliar place.

I don't know what to do. What if it doesn't work? What if it damages me and I go blind or some shit? I am very scared.

I was trying not to laugh when the postie arrived. Poor guy had no idea what he was carrying. He was obsessed with my cat though.

I'm scared. I'm so scared

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/im-still-alive.12002/
^^ Here's a link to a member that drank 15g SN with DMSO and reported her experience. She was found an hour and a half after ingesting the SN and suffered no major injury. Hope this clears up at least some doubt.
 
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Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,627
Holy shit, it has arrived. I can't open it until thursday night because my partner is home and I'm not risking it.


I am terrified that this won't work. I have no idea how pure it is. I have no idea how effective this method is. I don't care though, I am determined to go, and this way is minimal hassle.

I am meant to have surgery on the 5th, and I have no idea if I should do it before or after.

If I do it before and it doesn't work then I'll be put in psych, and my surgery will be postponed, leaving me in more pain. When they finally do it they probably won't let me access much pain relief.

If I do it after surgery I'll have to deal with the pain of it. And if it fails I'll be in pain with no pain relief, stuck in an unfamiliar place.

I don't know what to do. What if it doesn't work? What if it damages me and I go blind or some shit? I am very scared.

I was trying not to laugh when the postie arrived. Poor guy had no idea what he was carrying. He was obsessed with my cat though.

I'm scared. I'm so scared
It feels so good doesnt it ?
We now have the means to ctb at our fingertips.
It somehow does not feel real until we have what we need and its natural for the nerves to set in and feel scared x
 
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NorthAmericanQc

NorthAmericanQc

Experienced
Feb 5, 2019
227
Mine will arrive today. Status has changed for "Out for delivery today"
 
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NorthAmericanQc

NorthAmericanQc

Experienced
Feb 5, 2019
227
What the freaking f**K! It says delivered an hour ago and I didn't get anything. I think the guy delivered at a wrong adress.
 
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A

Awe

Member
Feb 6, 2019
89
What the freaking f**K! It says delivered an hour ago and I didn't get anything. I think the guy delivered at a wrong adress.
Mine still says it's at customs !!!!
 
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D

DyingToCTB

Member
Jan 20, 2019
70
You guys got nothing to worry about because it's a totally legal product. I'm awaiting my SN too.
 
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K

Kingkelly

Mage
Dec 3, 2018
532
Holy shit, it has arrived. I can't open it until thursday night because my partner is home and I'm not risking it.


I am terrified that this won't work. I have no idea how pure it is. I have no idea how effective this method is. I don't care though, I am determined to go, and this way is minimal hassle.

I am meant to have surgery on the 5th, and I have no idea if I should do it before or after.

If I do it before and it doesn't work then I'll be put in psych, and my surgery will be postponed, leaving me in more pain. When they finally do it they probably won't let me access much pain relief.

If I do it after surgery I'll have to deal with the pain of it. And if it fails I'll be in pain with no pain relief, stuck in an unfamiliar place.

I don't know what to do. What if it doesn't work? What if it damages me and I go blind or some shit? I am very scared.

I was trying not to laugh when the postie arrived. Poor guy had no idea what he was carrying. He was obsessed with my cat though.

I'm scared. I'm so scared
Literally having same thoughts like what if it doesn't work. I'll be in worse off situation.
 
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NorthAmericanQc

NorthAmericanQc

Experienced
Feb 5, 2019
227
What the freaking f**K! It says delivered an hour ago and I didn't get anything. I think the guy delivered at a wrong adress.

I'm so fucking infuriated. And feel like crying. Ugh.
 
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J

JustAboutDone

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2019
3,532
What the freaking f**K! It says delivered an hour ago and I didn't get anything. I think the guy delivered at a wrong adress.

Has it been hidden in a "safe place" like behind a plant pot?
 
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K

Kingkelly

Mage
Dec 3, 2018
532
I just don't want to be found too soon.
 
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NorthAmericanQc

NorthAmericanQc

Experienced
Feb 5, 2019
227
Has it been hidden in a "safe place" like behind a plant pot?

No. It's nowhere. And there's snow everywhere. It can't be hidden.

My mom was also waiting for post today, it's also marked as delivered and she didn't get anything. That pretty much confirm it's been delivered elsewhere.. I contacted post office and they opened a ticket.

But. UGHHH.
 
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J

JustAboutDone

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2019
3,532
No. It's nowhere. And there's snow everywhere. It can't be hidden.

My mom was also waiting for post today, it's also marked as delivered and she didn't get anything. That pretty much confirm it's been delivered elsewhere.. I contacted post office and they opened a ticket.

But. UGHHH.

Oh ffs. That's gutting. :-( and your mum definitely hasn't taken it?
 
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NorthAmericanQc

NorthAmericanQc

Experienced
Feb 5, 2019
227
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NorthAmericanQc

NorthAmericanQc

Experienced
Feb 5, 2019
227
I wanted to use it tonight..im so fucking desperate. Why this has to happen to me.
 
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T

Trulysorry

Member
Dec 31, 2018
95
I wanted to use it tonight..im so fucking desperate. Why this has to happen to me.

It might still come. They deliver until 8 pm in my area.. maybe it's a matter of them marking it delivered when it's just out for delivery still. Will keep my fingers crossed for you.
 
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NorthAmericanQc

NorthAmericanQc

Experienced
Feb 5, 2019
227
It might still come. They deliver until 8 pm in my area.. maybe it's a matter of them marking it delivered when it's just out for delivery still. Will keep my fingers crossed for you.

They deliver until 4pm here. It is 510pm
 
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Kirkscoobz

Kirkscoobz

Experienced
Feb 8, 2019
219
His does this get used please, Message me,
Thanks.
 
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