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CravingPeace

It’s only a matter of time
Feb 19, 2025
80
As of this morning. Tracking stalled for 6 days and I was getting real worried something happened. Now I'm feeling weird that it truly is on the way. In my EMDR therapy today I admitted that there is a strong mental barrier to improving my life, like I know the things I need to do to make things better but I simply don't have the energy, like an cell phone with a battery that doesn't reach 100% charge anymore, I feel like I max out at 20% now.

It feels overwhelmingly daunting to take action to improve my life. I'm glad my SN will be here soon so that I can truly consider an exit if I cannot overcome my "freeze" response to making positive change.
 
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SchrodingerIsDed

SchrodingerIsDed

Strength fades; Trust Shatters in Shadows of Fear.
Feb 17, 2025
307
I feel that way when I'm not eating enough. Zaps my energy entirely. Is there something causing the freeze responses? Were you punished for it in the past? Or is it just energy based?
 
Throsby_Geneva

Throsby_Geneva

Member
Dec 14, 2024
6
In my EMDR therapy today

May I ask how you find EMDR? My therapist tried it on my a few times, around 20 years ago. She hadn't used it on a patient before and wanted to have a go - apparently it was a relatively new and unproven treatment at that time. I've never heard of it being used since then.
 
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CravingPeace

It’s only a matter of time
Feb 19, 2025
80
I feel that way when I'm not eating enough. Zaps my energy entirely. Is there something causing the freeze responses? Were you punished for it in the past? Or is it just energy based?
I feel it is more of a "spiritual" energy, like my morale is deeply bruised from past rejection from family (and others) and that genuinely starting to help now is a futile effort. I guess. Idk
May I ask how you find EMDR? My therapist tried it on my a few times, around 20 years ago. She hadn't used it on a patient before and wanted to have a go - apparently it was a relatively new and unproven treatment at that time. I've never heard of it being used since then.
It's interesting. Usually it is in 2 hour sessions but we do 1 hour, 1x/week. It has definitely been more impactful than normal therapy. Seemingly surface-level issues end up delving into childhood experiences that shaped my current behavior, and we are already (it's been about 6 weeks now) getting into things that I only dreamt of discussing with my past therapists. Lots of things I don't consciously think about daily but know deep down are root issues.

It's pretty cool, but lately with deeper topics I've found the 1 hour sessions are leaving some things "unresolved" until the next week, which is pretty traumatizing lol.
 
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TransTaxEvader

TransTaxEvader

March 31st 2025
Feb 22, 2025
63
why choose sn? it looks awful. the videos I've seen, the people look so disoriented, confused, and sick before beginning to gasp for air.
 
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CravingPeace

It’s only a matter of time
Feb 19, 2025
80
why choose sn? it looks awful. the videos I've seen, the people look so disoriented, confused, and sick before beginning to gasp for air.
I've only seen one video. But from what I have read it's fairly peaceful. Most reach unconsciousness before reaching the "gasping for air" phase.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
40,797
I understand feeling so tired of it all, I wish you the best in what you decide.
 
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CravingPeace

It’s only a matter of time
Feb 19, 2025
80
I understand feeling so tired of it all, I wish you the best in what you decide.
Thank you friend. I truly grieve my early 20s when I had the spiritual capacity to feel motivated and driven towards a goal. Now at 29 I have trouble getting out of bed in the morning, almost angry that I have to endure another day of unease and hyper vigilance.
 
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tartvinegar

Member
Feb 14, 2025
98
As of this morning. Tracking stalled for 6 days and I was getting real worried something happened. Now I'm feeling weird that it truly is on the way. In my EMDR therapy today I admitted that there is a strong mental barrier to improving my life, like I know the things I need to do to make things better but I simply don't have the energy, like an cell phone with a battery that doesn't reach 100% charge anymore, I feel like I max out at 20% now.

It feels overwhelmingly daunting to take action to improve my life. I'm glad my SN will be here soon so that I can truly consider an exit if I cannot overcome my "freeze" response to making positive change.
Mine is still stalled with no updates since the 26th, it arrived in my city on the 22nd. I'm 99% sure it's been confiscated
 
divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2024
3,892
Thank you friend. I truly grieve my early 20s when I had the spiritual capacity to feel motivated and driven towards a goal. Now at 29 I have trouble getting out of bed in the morning, almost angry that I have to endure another day of unease and hyper vigilance.
The hypervigilance is the worst
 
LifeIsASadist

LifeIsASadist

Worthless loser
Oct 16, 2024
77
Nice! It likely got through the ICE phase so thank goodness for that.
Now once I move I can safely order SN without needing to worry about ICE
Btw did you by chance use a debit card for the 100% conventional purchase method or a gift card?
 
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