Take your time. Don't rush anything. Do everything you want to do first. Like write a letter, say goodbye to your loved ones, whatever you want to be done, do it calmly and without any urge. I think when you will have set all these things right, your peace of mind will come. And then, again, when you do it, if you do it, take your time to be sure all is well prepared.
If you have second thoughts, then again, take your time to be absolutely sure that's what you really really want. If it's not what you want, then put the SN in a closet. It's very normal and natural to have the whiling to live, even when our world is messed up.
Remember, you don't have to do anything, the choice is only yours to make. And to make the right choice, you first need to calm down and think with objectivity.
If you need to talk, if you have any questions at all, we are here. We will support you the best we can, whatever you chose to do.