MinrathousGallus
:3
- Jun 10, 2024
- 11
Unfortunately I had to postponed it until early February due to some family issues, my Mum is currently working overseas and I just got a call that she's going to come back home on February, I know I hate her but I don't want to leave her grieving alone in a foreign country. So knowing about her planned departure, it'd be best for me to at least let her land safely first to lessen the grief.
But anyway, Is it normal to feel like this? I know I had to delayed it for few months, my plan was on 2nd January and I wished I could go sooner. But with the exit plan already on my hand I feel oddly relaxed, euphoric, great and weird at the same time right now. I've also finished my notes, my short autobiography, my wills and some letters to my friends & family. So I'm pretty much already made the peace with dying. I don't even fear death anymore, but the opposite, I'm actually looking forward into it, optimistically.
Optimistically as in curious, like I always been a curious type, and what comes after death is the eternal mystery for humankind, and you know what else is mysterious? It's the outer space, with countless worlds and stars waiting to be discovered someday- and I love space, it's always been my dream to explore them one day. But yeah, death is apparently closer to me than whatever lies beyond the skies. So might just explore that way lol.
Those are probably just a way for me to cope lololol, and yes it does sounds childish. But I'll take anything to give me courage :3 For Now I could only hope that this feeling won't go away until my day come, because I've never felt this happy before in my life.
And I'm sorry for sharing my weird euphoria here. I just feel like I want to talk about it, but don't know where. Soo if you're reading this, thank you soo much for listening to me :3 And forgive me for any grammar mistakes, I'm not a native speaker.
But anyway, Is it normal to feel like this? I know I had to delayed it for few months, my plan was on 2nd January and I wished I could go sooner. But with the exit plan already on my hand I feel oddly relaxed, euphoric, great and weird at the same time right now. I've also finished my notes, my short autobiography, my wills and some letters to my friends & family. So I'm pretty much already made the peace with dying. I don't even fear death anymore, but the opposite, I'm actually looking forward into it, optimistically.
Optimistically as in curious, like I always been a curious type, and what comes after death is the eternal mystery for humankind, and you know what else is mysterious? It's the outer space, with countless worlds and stars waiting to be discovered someday- and I love space, it's always been my dream to explore them one day. But yeah, death is apparently closer to me than whatever lies beyond the skies. So might just explore that way lol.
Those are probably just a way for me to cope lololol, and yes it does sounds childish. But I'll take anything to give me courage :3 For Now I could only hope that this feeling won't go away until my day come, because I've never felt this happy before in my life.
And I'm sorry for sharing my weird euphoria here. I just feel like I want to talk about it, but don't know where. Soo if you're reading this, thank you soo much for listening to me :3 And forgive me for any grammar mistakes, I'm not a native speaker.
