My situation

[SadGirl]

Mother alcoholic from my childhood until today, all unemployed, barely have money to eat, I have deep depression, suicidal tendencies, several failed attempts years ago. I have an incredible girlfriend, she already told me that she would not forgive me if I committed suicide, I love her, but I'm afraid of life, besides not being able to live in this situation anymore, I'm afraid of death too, what would you do in this situation?

 

[AmbleNorth]

If you don't mind me asking - How old are you? Can you get away from the situation with your mother?

 

[whatever1111]

Mother alcoholic from my childhood until today, all unemployed, barely have money to eat, I have deep depression, suicidal tendencies, several failed attempts years ago. I have an incredible girlfriend, she already told me that she would not forgive me if I committed suicide, I love her, but I'm afraid of life, besides not being able to live in this situation anymore, I'm afraid of death too, what would you do in this situation?

do you live with your mother? what is her effect on you, is she bringing you down? I would stick to your gf and try to find a job, and move away if you are with your familiy. that is, this is what comes to my mind first, obviously it's difficult to say with this amount of info. could you move in with your gf? if finding a job is a problem, maybe move to a cheaper country?

 

[SadGirl]

If you don't mind me asking - How old are you? Can you get away from the situation with your mother?

I'll be 20 years old.

 

[AmbleNorth]

I'll be 20 years old.

Not sure where you are, but...If you are in the US, then the ACA would likely have extended medicaid to you given your financial circumstances. You may be able to see a psychiatrist and get some anti-depressant to take the edge off..after that you may be able to hold down a menial job and be able to get a cheap studio apartment. If this all sounds like too much, just try the doctors route first. Often a simple SSRI can help people function in bad situations.

Not trying to dissuade you from taken matters into your own hands - you're an adult with your own autonomy. But that is the route I would go if I were 20 again.

 

[SadGirl]

do you live with your mother? what is her effect on you, is she bringing you down? I would stick to your gf and try to find a job, and move away if you are with your familiy. that is, this is what comes to my mind first, obviously it's difficult to say with this amount of info. could you move in with your gf? if finding a job is a problem, maybe move to a cheaper country?

I'm an only child, I live with my father and my mother, I do not have a job at the moment, I'm from Brazil and I and my girlfriend would like to go to portugal first, but at the moment we do not have the conditions for a plan like this

 

[Marawa]

Also Job Corp is an excellent option for your age housing clothing real skilled job training. I think they even have a mental health component but not sure. I know drugs & violence aren't tolerated but it can give you a decent independent life in a short time

 

[SadGirl]

Not sure where you are, but...If you are in the US, then the ACA would likely have extended medicaid to you given your financial circumstances. You may be able to see a psychiatrist and get some anti-depressant to take the edge off..after that you may be able to hold down a menial job and be able to get a cheap studio apartment. If this all sounds like too much, just try the doctors route first. Often a simple SSRI can help people function in bad situations.

Not trying to dissuade you from taken matters into your own hands - you're an adult with your own autonomy. But that is the route I would go if I were 20 again.

I live in Brazil, and here is a totally weakened country, the unemployment rate has increased in recent months

 

[Carma]

If I don't like a place, I leave it.
You go to a bar, don't like the environment? Then just leave.
That's logic and actual self-preservation, this world is upside-down.
They will understand, with time.

 

[AmbleNorth]

I live in Brazil, and here is a totally weakened country, the unemployment rate has increased in recent months

I see, I'm sorry to hear that. I don't know what the Brazilian laws are and how healthcare works over there, specifically. I do know you have a public healthcare system, so I assume there must be a channel you can reach out to in order to inquire about mental health services. We aren't talking about heavy drugs or a psychiatric hospital stay (do not tell them that you are seriously planning to kill yourself, just that you are depressed), something mild like an SSRI to take the edge off of this situation.

 

[Marawa]

If I don't like a place, I leave it.
You go to a bar, don't like the environment? Then just leave.
That's logic and actual self-preservation, this world is upside-down.
They will understand, with time.

is this sarcasm? Are you under the delusion ppl just choose to stay in bad situations when they could just get up & leave? Did occur to you she me & many others don't have the means to do so?

 

[Carma]

is this sarcasm? Are you under the delusion ppl just choose to stay in bad situations when they could just get up & leave? Did occur to you she me & many others don't have the means to do so?

No, I didn't want it to appear this way, I know it's very hard, this society is designed around 'life is greaat! whoever doesn't agree is mentally ill and has to loose their freedom and are dangerous, selfish and evil incarnate!".

I tried to say that it's normal to dislike this world, and that we whould have the freedom to leave.

 

[neveranyhope]

I am so sorry, I don't have any idea what that must feel like. I'm sending you hugs, you deserve so much better. I'm so glad you at least have your girlfriend.

Is there any way you and your girlfriend can leave your city together? Is she in school? I think getting up and going is always easier if you can do it with someone, you can have someone to help you through it. I wish I could give you better advice. I feel like anything I say, I think, I coudlnt' do that when I was suicidal, why could she? Stick by your girlfriend. I wish I'd had someone at that age. I wish I'd had the courage to run away sometime a long time ago. Are you able to live in Portugal? Sending you peaceful thoughts, and I hope you can get out of your situation soon. I'm so sorry about your mother and your situation.

 

[Marawa]

No, I didn't want it to appear this way, I know it's very hard, this society is designed around 'life is greaat! whoever doesn't agree is mentally ill and has to loose their freedom and are dangerous, selfish and evil incarnate!".

I tried to say that it's normal to dislike this world, and that we whould have to freedom to leave.

I'm sorry if it came out the wrong way on my end too. I'm just hella nervous @& defensive.

 

[Sick Boy]

Is there any possibility you go to live with your gf?does she live with her parents?traveling to Portugal sounds very expensive at the moment

 

[Jean Améry]

Mother alcoholic from my childhood until today, all unemployed, barely have money to eat, I have deep depression, suicidal tendencies, several failed attempts years ago. I have an incredible girlfriend, she already told me that she would not forgive me if I committed suicide, I love her, but I'm afraid of life, besides not being able to live in this situation anymore, I'm afraid of death too, what would you do in this situation?

I'm sorry to hear you have to live in such dreadful circumstances. Your girlfriend sounds like an amazing woman: hold on to her, cherish her and try to live for her if you can. You should try to find some type of work: money will solve a lot of your problems and allow you and your gf to be together.

I know this sounds a lot easier than it is but I remember when I felt absolutely useless and crappy because I was unemployed. It took an enormous amount of willpower but when I finally got a job I felt much better. Of course I'm here now so maybe I'm not the best person to give advice on this.

As to your mental problems: I'd advise to talk it over with your gf and maybe friends you can trust. Expressing your feelings may make them bearable.

Know you're not to blame for this and you got dealt a shitty hand. The best of luck to you.

 

[SadGirl]

I am so sorry, I don't have any idea what that must feel like. I'm sending you hugs, you deserve so much better. I'm so glad you at least have your girlfriend.

Is there any way you and your girlfriend can leave your city together? Is she in school? I think getting up and going is always easier if you can do it with someone, you can have someone to help you through it. I wish I could give you better advice. I feel like anything I say, I think, I coudlnt' do that when I was suicidal, why could she? Stick by your girlfriend. I wish I'd had someone at that age. I wish I'd had the courage to run away sometime a long time ago. Are you able to live in Portugal? Sending you peaceful thoughts, and I hope you can get out of your situation soon. I'm so sorry about your mother and your situation.

In Portugal, I'm unemployed, but I'm going to live for her, thank you for the empathy, you're very kind, I wish you everything twice better and better than the universe can give (sorry for English, I do not know very well

Is there any possibility you go to live with your gf?does she live with her parents?traveling to Portugal sounds very expensive at the moment

she live with parents, and siblings

I'm sorry to hear you have to live in such dreadful circumstances. Your girlfriend sounds like an amazing woman: hold on to her, cherish her and try to live for her if you can. You should try to find some type of work: money will solve a lot of your problems and allow you and your gf to be together.

I know this sounds a lot easier than it is but I remember when I felt absolutely useless and crappy because I was unemployed. It took an enormous amount of willpower but when I finally got a job I felt much better. Of course I'm here now so maybe I'm not the best person to give advice on this.

As to your mental problems: I'd advise to talk it over with your gf and maybe friends you can trust. Expressing your feelings may make them bearable.

Know you're not to blame for this and you got dealt a shitty hand. The best of luck to you.

Thanks for the advice, I just have to thank you for having people like you here that understand what I'm going through.