CoolGuy9

CoolGuy9

Mage
Mar 5, 2019
524
So as a male and an adult in Finland, you need to either join the military or civil service, but the system is set up strongly in favor of the military. I joined the military and being highly incompetent in there really sucks. You constantly perform weaker than others and are yelled for it all the time. The constant shame of not being good enough really fucking sucks. You try your best and it doesn't even matter.

There was this one time I thought to my self that it's all in my head and i'm performing just fine. That same day we had to rate each other in our barracks. You had to give the rating of 1 to 1 person and a rating of 9 to 1 person. Everyone else had to get a number in between and you couldn't rate yourself. Everybody gave their 1 to me and I would have done the same. I'm such a fucking loser.

Also being anti social sucked. I always felt like I didn't belong. Watching how people made friendships and made plans to hang out outside the military sucked. I knew that such a thing could never happen to me. I also never really felt like a soldier when wearing the uniform. Always felt like a kid pretending to be a soldier

When I left my mum was disappointed so that was like a minor fuck you to all what I had gone through. I actually had one uncle who told me that he was happy that I made a big decision on my own and that really helped me, since it feels like everyone treats me like a retard for leaving.
 
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not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Archangel
Mar 23, 2018
8,907
Sorry for the trouble you are having. :'(
I have always been slower & more clumsy than everyone else.
Work has always been a nightmare... I lose jobs. I don't connect with others at work & really don't hang out with co-workers. Even though some of them do.
I just feel awkward around everyone.:angry:
 
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Rex2019

Rex2019

Can't wait for the summer
Feb 23, 2019
128
So as a male and an adult in Finland, you need to either join the military or civil service, but the system is set up strongly in favor of the military. I joined the military and being highly incompetent in there really sucks. You constantly perform weaker than others and are yelled for it all the time. The constant shame of not being good enough really fucking sucks. You try your best and it doesn't even matter.

There was this one time I thought to my self that it's all in my head and i'm performing just fine. That same day we had to rate each other in our barracks. You had to give the rating of 1 to 1 person and a rating of 9 to 1 person. Everyone else had to get a number in between and you couldn't rate yourself. Everybody gave their 1 to me and I would have done the same. I'm such a fucking loser.

Also being anti social sucked. I always felt like I didn't belong. Watching how people made friendships and made plans to hang out outside the military sucked. I knew that such a thing could never happen to me. I also never really felt like a soldier when wearing the uniform. Always felt like a kid pretending to be a soldier

When I left my mum was disappointed so that was like a minor fuck you to all what I had gone through. I actually had one uncle who told me that he was happy that I made a big decision on my own and that really helped me, since it feels like everyone treats me like a retard for leaving.

sorry to hear your story. life sucks so much. I totally understand what it feels like to be an outsider. Also if you can, don't let physical strength define you. I mean it's like good looks. It's something you are born with, not something you have any control over. it's like lottery. It just comes down to luck and is not earned. So why should you let yourself be defined by it. Someone had to be the weakest and someone the strongest. Just because you were the weakest doesn't mean you can't be average/good at doing anything else in life. Military obviously isn't your cup of tea. Good thing you left it.
 
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L

lymbo

Arcanist
Oct 12, 2019
483
how does the system set up strongly in favor of the military ?
 
Alec

Alec

Wizard
Apr 22, 2019
681
What do you mean as a male you HAVE to join the military? Is it that they are forcing males to join the military?! Because that is fucked up on every level!!!! I hope to god that is not the case, I know there are countries in the world that do it though, it's horrible! And I'm so sorry for how it turned out for you. I think it would've been the very same way for me too, maybe this will make you feel a bit better? I hope so: and your uncle is right, you've made a decision and a big one for yourself and your life and you took charge! Way to go! That's incredible! And you are incredible! I hope you'll find strength to believe in yourself and remember your life is YOURS and no one else's!!!! Some it's only up to you what you do with us and how! I love you!!!❤️❤️❤️
Edit: I just googled it and found out that it IS forced military service! THAT IS SO FUCKED UP!!!! THATS A HIGE VIOLATION OF HUMAN RIGHT!!!! I'm glad you left! It was clearly a right choice!!! I was born in a country that does this too, I had to flee, I left the country after I turned 18 almost right after, and now I can never go back, which is a good thing because I don't ever want to go back to that asshole country!!! To do that is wrong in EVERY WAY!!!! I was lucky and I could leave, I got lucky to run away, I'm sorry you had to go through it!!! That's HORRIBLE!!! I'm so sorry!!! I hope, I sincerely hope you'll find a way to move past it!!! I love you beyond anything!!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
 
Last edited:
6000qqq

6000qqq

Member
May 13, 2019
24
I know it won't mean much, but for all it's worth, I'm proud of you. It shows a lot of your character that you put everything you had into something you didn't choose to do. I know things didn't work out perfectly for you in the end, but I'm still so glad you're out of there now. Your happiness is more important than your training, and you leaving the military isn't the end of the world. You deserve to be somewhere you want to be, and if your friends and family can't see that.. I'm sorry.
I know this is a suicide forum and all, but if you're staying with us, I hope you reach a day where you're okay with yourself and your life sometime in the near future.
 
P

Pan

Paragon
Oct 24, 2019
914
I completely agree.you ought to pride yourself on your service; that takes guts, strength and determination. Kudos to you for your bravery.
 
R

Ross

Member
Jul 7, 2019
62
So as a male and an adult in Finland, you need to either join the military or civil service, but the system is set up strongly in favor of the military. I joined the military and being highly incompetent in there really sucks. You constantly perform weaker than others and are yelled for it all the time. The constant shame of not being good enough really fucking sucks. You try your best and it doesn't even matter.

There was this one time I thought to my self that it's all in my head and i'm performing just fine. That same day we had to rate each other in our barracks. You had to give the rating of 1 to 1 person and a rating of 9 to 1 person. Everyone else had to get a number in between and you couldn't rate yourself. Everybody gave their 1 to me and I would have done the same. I'm such a fucking loser.

Also being anti social sucked. I always felt like I didn't belong. Watching how people made friendships and made plans to hang out outside the military sucked. I knew that such a thing could never happen to me. I also never really felt like a soldier when wearing the uniform. Always felt like a kid pretending to be a soldier

When I left my mum was disappointed so that was like a minor fuck you to all what I had gone through. I actually had one uncle who told me that he was happy that I made a big decision on my own and that really helped me, since it feels like everyone treats me like a retard for leaving.

you may not be the under performer or worst. If they all socialise course they're gonna vote the person they know least with the 1... it's all give your besties the high scores
What do you mean as a male you HAVE to join the military? Is it that they are forcing males to join the military?! Because that is fucked up on every level!!!! I hope to god that is not the case, I know there are countries in the world that do it though, it's horrible! And I'm so sorry for how it turned out for you. I think it would've been the very same way for me too, maybe this will make you feel a bit better? I hope so: and your uncle is right, you've made a decision and a big one for yourself and your life and you took charge! Way to go! That's incredible! And you are incredible! I hope you'll find strength to believe in yourself and remember your life is YOURS and no one else's!!!! Some it's only up to you what you do with us and how! I love you!!!❤❤❤
Edit: I just googled it and found out that it IS forced military service! THAT IS SO FUCKED UP!!!! THATS A HIGE VIOLATION OF HUMAN RIGHT!!!! I'm glad you left! It was clearly a right choice!!! I was born in a country that does this too, I had to flee, I left the country after I turned 18 almost right after, and now I can never go back, which is a good thing because I don't ever want to go back to that asshole country!!! To do that is wrong in EVERY WAY!!!! I was lucky and I could leave, I got lucky to run away, I'm sorry you had to go through it!!! That's HORRIBLE!!! I'm so sorry!!! I hope, I sincerely hope you'll find a way to move past it!!! I love you beyond anything!!!!!❤❤❤❤❤
Not fucked at all. I wish they'd bring national service back here
 
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
Just keep doing the best u can and don't let this failure in the military define u or your full potential. Just because u aren't the best fit for the military doesn't mean you are a loser for life. Being a good order follower does not necessarily make u a good person. Don't give up :hug:
 

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