CoolGuy9
Mage
- Mar 5, 2019
- 524
So as a male and an adult in Finland, you need to either join the military or civil service, but the system is set up strongly in favor of the military. I joined the military and being highly incompetent in there really sucks. You constantly perform weaker than others and are yelled for it all the time. The constant shame of not being good enough really fucking sucks. You try your best and it doesn't even matter.
There was this one time I thought to my self that it's all in my head and i'm performing just fine. That same day we had to rate each other in our barracks. You had to give the rating of 1 to 1 person and a rating of 9 to 1 person. Everyone else had to get a number in between and you couldn't rate yourself. Everybody gave their 1 to me and I would have done the same. I'm such a fucking loser.
Also being anti social sucked. I always felt like I didn't belong. Watching how people made friendships and made plans to hang out outside the military sucked. I knew that such a thing could never happen to me. I also never really felt like a soldier when wearing the uniform. Always felt like a kid pretending to be a soldier
When I left my mum was disappointed so that was like a minor fuck you to all what I had gone through. I actually had one uncle who told me that he was happy that I made a big decision on my own and that really helped me, since it feels like everyone treats me like a retard for leaving.
There was this one time I thought to my self that it's all in my head and i'm performing just fine. That same day we had to rate each other in our barracks. You had to give the rating of 1 to 1 person and a rating of 9 to 1 person. Everyone else had to get a number in between and you couldn't rate yourself. Everybody gave their 1 to me and I would have done the same. I'm such a fucking loser.
Also being anti social sucked. I always felt like I didn't belong. Watching how people made friendships and made plans to hang out outside the military sucked. I knew that such a thing could never happen to me. I also never really felt like a soldier when wearing the uniform. Always felt like a kid pretending to be a soldier
When I left my mum was disappointed so that was like a minor fuck you to all what I had gone through. I actually had one uncle who told me that he was happy that I made a big decision on my own and that really helped me, since it feels like everyone treats me like a retard for leaving.