Discussion My sexuality is almost universally frowned upon

[A_quietboi]

So I am a bisexual dude. Seems normal right? Not so where I live. My parents threatened to disown me at the mere hint of me being bisexual. I'm also not exactly the most "masculine" man alive (I'm not overly "feminine",either, I'm pretty normal), and they seem to be quite distressed about it.
Now the thing is that they personally would never care about my sexuality, they're pretty chill- society would tear them to pieces, with rumors of " the parents with the girly man" going around. I don't wanted to put them in that position, but I'm also finding it pretty hard to cope. I have to pretend that boys disgust me (kinda), while I have a male love interest- it's SNAFU out here. So I've found myself retreating, and recently I've decreased interacting with them to get them off my case. Any tips on how to cope? Cuz this is getting out of hand now.

 

[puella]

I'm sorry you live somewhere so backwards. Would it be possible to move to a more progressive place? I know moving often isn't feasible; I was lucky to be able to leave an unaccepting area.

Good luck.

 

[Life Is My Coffin]

i have a bisexual friend. he claims even the LGBT are very hostile to people such as him part of it just for being half heterosexual. it's almost seems like you can't win either way. you get hate for being half gay and half straight from both sides. very sorry people you have to live around are such assholes

 

[tiger b]

Ahhh so stupid, it's all irrational. Only tip I have is to laugh at the insanity of it all. Better than becoming bitter.

I'm sorry you have to experience this.

 

[Anonymoususer1234]

Sending hugs your way.

There's no simple answer to dealing with discrimination but I think it helps to remember that there will be people who accept you even when society at large doesn't.

 

[Heartaches]

I'm really sorry for what you're going through. I'm also a bisexual (trans) man but my experience has been different since most my family has no qualms with it. There are many prejudices and assumptions about bi men that prevail to this day unfortunately; love and/or attraction between men is still seen as "wrong", "emasculating" and "shameful" even though there's nothing wrong and it's none of their business. Always remember that it's never your fault.

I would advice to search for online queer spaces, especifically bi communities, such as FB groups or discord servers, though there are many other places. If possible, you could try looking for irl queer comms, but you'd have to be discreet about it. You could look for an LGBT org in your state or country that could connect you with others or find ways to help you with your situation.

Having some sort of community or support network is very helpful in cases of inmediate or looming violence.

Perhaps another thing you could do is read articles or books on other bi men's experiences or fiction books with bi characters in them, they can be a good source of inspiration and hope.

I hope yo can get out of your situation very soon, wish you the best ​

i have a bisexual friend. he claims even the LGBT are very hostile to people such as him part of it just for being half heterosexual. it's almost seems like you can't win either way. you get hate for being half gay and half straight from both sides. very sorry people you have to live around are such assholes

Just wanted to say, bisexuality is not "half hetero, half gay", bisexuality is an attraction to multiple genders, binary or not. Not all bisexuals are cis men or women and not all of those mentioned prior have an attraction to the opposite/same gender. I don't think you meant ill, just wanted to clarify.

But you're 100% right about getting hate for feeling attraction either way, there's a lot of biphobia coming from both ends, Monosexuals (heteros, gays, lesbians; but not all obviously) don't understand our attraction to multiple genders and label us in very negative ways, invisibilize us or reject us from their communities. You really can't win because they'll complain about anything we do or don't do. I'm very sorry for what your friend has had to gone through, I hope he can find a welcoming and supportive community.​

If any other bi siblings are reading this, you're 100% valid and no one has the right to question you for your identity

 

[Life Is My Coffin]

Just wanted to say, bisexuality is not "half hetero, half gay"

Lol that's literally what the "bi" part in bisexual implies

 

[Ashu]

Lol that's literally what the "bi" part in bisexual implies

These concepts and definitions are in very rapid flux in countries like my native Canada.

 

[edu0z]

I'm really sorry for what you're going through. I'm also a bisexual (trans) man but my experience has been different since most my family has no qualms with it. There are many prejudices and assumptions about bi men that prevail to this day unfortunately; love and/or attraction between men is still seen as "wrong", "emasculating" and "shameful" even though there's nothing wrong and it's none of their business. Always remember that it's never your fault.

I would advice to search for online queer spaces, especifically bi communities, such as FB groups or discord servers, though there are many other places. If possible, you could try looking for irl queer comms, but you'd have to be discreet about it. You could look for an LGBT org in your state or country that could connect you with others or find ways to help you with your situation.

Having some sort of community or support network is very helpful in cases of inmediate or looming violence.

Perhaps another thing you could do is read articles or books on other bi men's experiences or fiction books with bi characters in them, they can be a good source of inspiration and hope.

I hope yo can get out of your situation very soon, wish you the best

Just wanted to say, bisexuality is not "half hetero, half gay", bisexuality is an attraction to multiple genders, binary or not. Not all bisexuals are cis men or women and not all of those mentioned prior have an attraction to the opposite/same gender. I don't think you meant ill, just wanted to clarify.

But you're 100% right about getting hate for feeling attraction either way, there's a lot of biphobia coming from both ends, Monosexuals (heteros, gays, lesbians; but not all obviously) don't understand our attraction to multiple genders and label us in very negative ways, invisibilize us or reject us from their communities. You really can't win because they'll complain about anything we do or don't do. I'm very sorry for what your friend has had to gone through, I hope he can find a welcoming and supportive community.​

If any other bi siblings are reading this, you're 100% valid and no one has the right to question you for your identity

You are a very kind person... but I must say, I have repeatedly tried to get help in these types of groups, both online and in real life... and those people have been completely brainwashed.