I have a suggestion.
I noticed you called it "my self harming problem." I would suggest you try changing your language, even if it feels awkward. Something like, "Self harming is. I experience problems related to self harming. I am not the problem, and it is not mine. Self harming just is, and I am no longer owning it, nor allowing it to own me. From now one, we may still interact from time to time, but we are separate."
I used to binge and purge. I felt awful about it and out of control. I stopped beating myself up over it. If I overate, I experienced the results, like the sensations of being full. It took the power away from purging. If occasionally I still purged, then okay, it happened. I experienced the purging, I experienced the feelings such as burning throat and heart palpitations. And I moved on. That shift helped, and over time, both acts lost power and control over me. If I occasionally made a mistake and gave in to either compulsion, okey dokey then. It was one compulsion, one mistake. I'm not perfect. And I can recover from it, I already have many times, each time more in control, less affected, and able to give my attention to things I actually want to.