Venting My Rant About Hospice

[Heavenbound]

Sorry if I'm posting too often here. I'm just glad to finally have an outlet to discuss exiting without the fear of being locked up.

I just lost the most important person in my life. They died under hospice care and I was assured that bereavement counseling would be available after the passing. Due to many factors I have been unable to properly mourn the passing and thought that although I still want to ctb, the counseling might be helpful. I see a so called therapist anyway, but I figured that additional counseling especially specific to grief could potentially be a good thing. Long story short, I have contacted their offices and they were to relay my information to a counselor- no response. Contacted their offices again and was given a direct number to the counselor for my area, contacted her directly, twice over a span of two weeks and- no response.
So yeah, they really care about the family, sure. (I have horror stories about hospice, but that doesn't belong here.)
No one really cares. I didn't even get the generic "sorry for your loss".

Anyway, weather or not I get the grief counseling, I still want to ctb. Most of the people I care about are already on the other side, and I want to be with them. I also have health and financial problems that add to the problem and I don't foresee a path forward.
The time isn't right just yet, and I'm still educating myself, and making preparations, but it's comforting in a way to know that the bus is an option!
Screw hospice
Screw the healthcare system
Screw the government
Screw it all

Thank you for allowing me to vent.

 

[SVEN]

I know folk say that "time heals", but I've never found that for myself. For me, time just moves me along a bit from the loss and people think I'm coping better, but I'm not really. So I'd say be as angry, upset and lonely as you want and come on here and scream about it. I doubt any of us have any words of wisdom to ease what you are enduring, however sometimes even just knowing you're being heard by others in similar situations can help a wee bit.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

@Heavenbound I'm sorry for your loss and that you've not got the support you should've had. I feel like support in general when someone is dying or has died is terrible. It's like you have to beg to get help.

I share your sentiment about these services. One of the main reasons I wanna CTB is due to my dad and grandmother's death and lack of support (zero) we got when they both died at home (hospital was terrible as well so either way I probably would've felt guilty) we never should've been put in that position without any help. Fuck em indeed, they don't seem to care. All I can say to anyone else in a similar position is you have to be assertive to get these people moving on stuff, demand they help you-it's the only way because otherwise they just don't bother.
Post as much as you like, we are an empathetic bunch since we are all struggling in one way or another, no one will mind you venting.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's just the reality that people don't care in this cruel world, people are so self centred and are only concerned with what directly affects themselves, it really doesn't surprise me how that person acted in such a way.

 

[Heavenbound]

I know folk say that "time heals", but I've never found that for myself. For me, time just moves me along a bit from the loss and people think I'm coping better, but I'm not really. So I'd say be as angry, upset and lonely as you want and come on here and scream about it. I doubt any of us have any words of wisdom to ease what you are enduring, however sometimes even just knowing you're being heard by others in similar situations can help a wee bit.

Thank you SO much. I really appreciate your response, you're very kind. I don't believe that time heals all wounds either. :)

@Heavenbound I'm sorry for your loss and that you've not got the support you should've had. I feel like support in general when someone is dying or has died is terrible. It's like you have to beg to get help.

I share your sentiment about these services. One of the main reasons I wanna CTB is due to my dad and grandmother's death and lack of support (zero) we got when they both died at home (hospital was terrible as well so either way I probably would've felt guilty) we never should've been put in that position without any help. Fuck em indeed, they don't seem to care. All I can say to anyone else in a similar position is you have to be assertive to get these people moving on stuff, demand they help you-it's the only way because otherwise they just don't bother.
Post as much as you like, we are an empathetic bunch since we are all struggling in one way or another, no one will mind you venting.

Thank you very much for your kind reply. You're very kind. I'm very sorry for the loss of your father and grandmother.

 

[WaitingToGo]

Sorry for your loss and your experience trying to get counseling help. I lost my partner 5 years ago to cancer, I've had no grief counseling consequently I'm suffering loneliness and grief which never goes away. Time doesn't heal, whoever said that was an idiot. I feel the loss every day.
it's why I'm here and like you I want to be with them on the other side, I have the means but don't have the courage. I've set a date for when I'd like to ctb ( 5 years to the exact date and time my partner passed in July this year) but I fear cowardice will set in.

 

[SoftWorries]

I used to work in hospice and there isn't care for the staff either. It's such a strange place.

 

[LateForTheBus]

I'm so very sorry for your loss and the lack of support. We're all here for you, and you can post as much as you need. (Hugs)