Agent_PS
Member
- Jan 19, 2025
- 30
It's vile and disgusting and unfortunately the coping mechanism on which I rely the most. I'll turn 23 years old next month and I'm still what you'd call a khhv(its a term people in the incels forum use to mean kissless hugless handholdless virgin), well the hugless part could technically be ruled out because I did receive one hug in the past from a person whom I considered important or whatever. Anyways I'm disgusted at myself. I obv do live a life outside of just sitting on my chair watching porn or playing AVN but its impossible for me to try and pursue anyone anymore. I can go into details as to why but I believe I'm beyond saving atp.
The thing is, I can abstain from it if I try my best but I do spend an unhealthy amount whenever my brain or body demands doses of dopamine or distraction in the form of pleasure. I'm not confused because I know what's wrong with me. I just don't see any reasons to give it up. I think if more people openly hated me then it'd be easier for me to rationalize the unworthiness of my existence when the time comes.
The thing is, I can abstain from it if I try my best but I do spend an unhealthy amount whenever my brain or body demands doses of dopamine or distraction in the form of pleasure. I'm not confused because I know what's wrong with me. I just don't see any reasons to give it up. I think if more people openly hated me then it'd be easier for me to rationalize the unworthiness of my existence when the time comes.
