lost_one
Once
- Nov 3, 2024
- 26
For the sake of not creating a thousand different threads I will see if from now on I use this one thread for all my rants, vents, and screams into the void
Can you imagine all you want to do is lay in bed and sleep all day, but your parent or boss, is just standing next to you screaming that you NEED to get things done, and they won't shut up until you get them done...
and even after "see it wasn't that hard"; "it didn't take that long"; "Why did it take you so long to do this"....
Just constant turmoil, constant arguing.
If I don't do things I feel like shit, if I do them I still feel like shit. It removes any joy I could possibly feel doing anything, everything is a burden, everything is a work to get done...and for what? there is nothing waiting on the other side. There is no point to any of it. powering throught things and getting nowhere.
I need to brush my teeth (I don't want to cause the right side of mouth hurts when the sold tap water hits it)
I need to do the dishes ( Just go do the dishes you animal!)
I want to punch the wall and SH.
I need to sweep the floor
Feed the dogs
Water the plants
Do the stupid little excercize my therapist gave me.
Can I just sit and cry? No! Toughen up!
Go do the paper for college that you have until midnight to deliver
Read the articles
Exercize
I don't want to do anything! You don't have a choice, so shut up and get it done!
And I like a little submissive robot get it all done, my felling don't matter, I don't matter. I am afterall a piece of shit, Kill yourself or shut up and get things done, do the bare minimum.
Being Highly functional with depression is a curse! My brain will scream at me until I get something done, literaly repeating in my head until I do it... I swear I will have hour long arguments in my head over things.
Can you imagine all you want to do is lay in bed and sleep all day, but your parent or boss, is just standing next to you screaming that you NEED to get things done, and they won't shut up until you get them done...
and even after "see it wasn't that hard"; "it didn't take that long"; "Why did it take you so long to do this"....
Just constant turmoil, constant arguing.
If I don't do things I feel like shit, if I do them I still feel like shit. It removes any joy I could possibly feel doing anything, everything is a burden, everything is a work to get done...and for what? there is nothing waiting on the other side. There is no point to any of it. powering throught things and getting nowhere.
I need to brush my teeth (I don't want to cause the right side of mouth hurts when the sold tap water hits it)
I need to do the dishes ( Just go do the dishes you animal!)
I want to punch the wall and SH.
I need to sweep the floor
Feed the dogs
Water the plants
Do the stupid little excercize my therapist gave me.
Can I just sit and cry? No! Toughen up!
Go do the paper for college that you have until midnight to deliver
Read the articles
Exercize
I don't want to do anything! You don't have a choice, so shut up and get it done!
And I like a little submissive robot get it all done, my felling don't matter, I don't matter. I am afterall a piece of shit, Kill yourself or shut up and get things done, do the bare minimum.
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