cardboard_house
he/him | i'm so tired. so, so tired.
- Sep 17, 2023
- 49
I've been dealing with suicidal thoughts since I was about 12 or 13, or maybe longer, I'm not sure, but I felt it inappropriate to kill myself so i sort of developed a philosophy to interpret my beliefs into something that's not just plain nihilism. It probably won't mean anything to you, but if anyone on here can find solace in it so that they can suffer a little less, I'm happy with that.
It runs on the basic beliefs of nihilism, we're so tiny in the scope of the universe that any actions or achievements we make as humans or a civilization or a special will be equivalent to nothing in the near-infinitely broad scope of the universe. But, because nothing anyone ever does has no value or meaning at all, it means everything that everyone does has equal value, it's just that the value is 0. So spend your time doing things you enjoy, don't worry about what comes after or higher powers or social standings or minor consequences. Things will happen that you want to happen, and things will happen that you don't want to happen. So do what you enjoy, do what you love, be yourself. Nothing matters anyways, and in a few hundred years nobody will even know you ever existed via anything except for maybe a name if you have a resilient tombstone. Don't care about your reputation, don't care about how people think of you. They'll be dead soon, you'll be dead soon. Do dumb shit, have fun, have a good time while you can. And when it's time to go, you'll go. And nothing will ever have mattered.
Again, I doubt anyone will care for this, but if it helps, that's enough.
It runs on the basic beliefs of nihilism, we're so tiny in the scope of the universe that any actions or achievements we make as humans or a civilization or a special will be equivalent to nothing in the near-infinitely broad scope of the universe. But, because nothing anyone ever does has no value or meaning at all, it means everything that everyone does has equal value, it's just that the value is 0. So spend your time doing things you enjoy, don't worry about what comes after or higher powers or social standings or minor consequences. Things will happen that you want to happen, and things will happen that you don't want to happen. So do what you enjoy, do what you love, be yourself. Nothing matters anyways, and in a few hundred years nobody will even know you ever existed via anything except for maybe a name if you have a resilient tombstone. Don't care about your reputation, don't care about how people think of you. They'll be dead soon, you'll be dead soon. Do dumb shit, have fun, have a good time while you can. And when it's time to go, you'll go. And nothing will ever have mattered.
Again, I doubt anyone will care for this, but if it helps, that's enough.