Venting My partner of 10 years wants a divorce.

[mafuyu]

That's it. That's the only thing I was living for.

I can't drive. I don't have a job. I'm a glorified leech. And despite vouching for communication, despite telling me she loved me for all these years even if I couldn't work…


It's over. I don't want anyone else. I don't have any family at all to help me. I always knew that without her I had nothing and nobody, and yet I let it happen. I don't even have any money.

She doesn't want to do marriage counseling. She says she can't make me happy and then I ask her how— she doesn't have a response. I've been working on myself for the past decade, been to loads of therapy, and we had our ups and downs like any other couple. But we loved each other.

I'm serious this time. Hopefully I can rest very, very soon. I am emotionally exhausted. She went over to her parents yesterday and talked shit about me, not sure what exactly. She came home with boxes today. There was no warning, no distance— nothing.

For now I'm just breathing.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Can you get any kind of spousal support? Are there any government programs in your area that can help?
I'm sorry for everything you are going through.

 

[genoke]

That is brutal. I'm really sorry. Do you feel like you 'let it happen knowing she was all you had left' to self-destruct to bring you closer to suicide? Cuz I keep doing that. Sorry man.

 

[Sat]

It sounds nice that you actually had someone that kept you going. And it must be very painful that it's gone now. Idk how to feel or say but my condolences. Loneliness is a bitch that'll consume you.


-someone who never had a good childhood, loving parents, friends, and a partner.

 

[Nikitatos]

That's a tough situation. Breakup are the worst. 10 years is a long time. You have any friends that could take you to the strip club, get really drunk, and bang a working girl?

 

[mafuyu]

It sounds nice that you actually had someone that kept you going. And it must be very painful that it's gone now. Idk how to feel or say but my condolences. Loneliness is a bitch that'll consume you.


-someone who never had a good childhood, loving parents, friends, and a partner.

She's the only only thing I ever had. I literally don't have anything else, so I can relate to the rest of that. I think it was a fluke, just another glitch in the system called life.

That's a tough situation. Breakup are the worst. 10 years is a long time. You have any friends that could take you to the strip club, get really drunk, and bang a working girl?

Haha I wish. I don't have any IRL friends.

 

[Danby]

I am so sorry to hear that. I am going through something similar--my wife of nearly thirty years wants a divorce. I'm trying to cope, but it isn't helping my depression/suicidal thoughts. I worry about finding someone again, especially someone who will put up with my eccentricities/autism.

 

[bringerofdestrution]

I'm so sorry to read this, I'm going through exactly the same thing and feel like there's no way out of the darkness. I tried to CBT just over a week ago and now feel like even more of a failure. Just want it all to go away.

 

[SoulCage]

I fear that I will end up in a situation like yours. My partner of 15 years, we are not married (it should have happened if it weren't for covid and my breakdowns), is still with me, but our interactions get more and more tainted by my behavior.
If he leaves me then I will leave my final message on this forum and CTB.
Sometimes I even wonder if it's not better if I leave him instead and free him from the my burdensome and negative existence.

Do you have an idea why your wife would leave you all of a sudden? Too overwhelmed because she can no longer handle you seemingly endless recovery journey? Or is she also depressed or suicidal and just wants to end it without you falling deeper into the abyss?
I know, only pointless speculations... I am just so curious about her motivation, trying to compare it with my situation :/

I understand that you feel like there is no point to start again from 0 when you have lost it all. Even if you manage to recover, there is no guarantee and you could lose it again and again and again...
I hope you find peace.

 

[Cress]

I had a significant other that I was engaged to and in a relationship for five years. I'm not gonna get into the details as they really don't matter. Eventually things were Different and we had to ignore separate ways. She wanted to remain talking after I moved out but I was very suicidal and had a recent failed suicide attempt that she didn't know about. I realized that if I didn't clean the cut off seeing her that I was going to eventually kill myself and succeed.

I realized that you've explained that this woman is your whole world But you have to realize no single person could ever hold you up when they are your whole reason for living. I don't know the situation or the details on how she ended up being your only relationship of value for all I know maybe she insisted that you have no contact with friends or family out of jealousy. Either way the best thing you could do is to try to make a clean break from the relationship.

If you can't do that Because you've invested all of yourself into your wife and want to get out that's fine I respect your decision. If you ever wanna talk my DM's are always open.

 

[mistymoo]

I'm so sorry you're going through this.
My fiance of 3 years broke things off with me a few months ago. I couldn't even imagine 10 years. I relate with everything you said

EDIT: I really hope you can find some kind of peace soon