lavenderlilylies
Student
- Sep 24, 2024
- 153
A part of growing up for me was realizing that my parents loved me the only way they knew how. But it kinda stings more, to know that they tried their best, but they were uneducated and very hurt themselves.
It's more so apparent with my mother, since she's the more involved parent and the one i can say i have a relationship with (my dad was always emotionally absent ig). I don't remember most of the hitting, so i won't talk about that. But i do remember that she was extremely mean to me growing up. She made me feel like a thing.
Now i know she actually viewed children as things, not people. But she's capable of reflection. When i tell her you hurt me, she listens, shows signs of regret. When i tell her to please, break the cycle and at least stop hitting my younger brothers, she tries. Sometimes she gets fed up, says she had changed, and to stop bringing it back up. But i hurts still. When i look at her I just feel disappointed and enraged.
It's more so apparent with my mother, since she's the more involved parent and the one i can say i have a relationship with (my dad was always emotionally absent ig). I don't remember most of the hitting, so i won't talk about that. But i do remember that she was extremely mean to me growing up. She made me feel like a thing.
Now i know she actually viewed children as things, not people. But she's capable of reflection. When i tell her you hurt me, she listens, shows signs of regret. When i tell her to please, break the cycle and at least stop hitting my younger brothers, she tries. Sometimes she gets fed up, says she had changed, and to stop bringing it back up. But i hurts still. When i look at her I just feel disappointed and enraged.
