nux_walpurgis
Me, my whispers and a broken God
- Oct 18, 2023
- 139
I am fucked.
I will have to talk to her about my suicidal ideation now, and I am afraid she will not take me seriously because I am not depressed.
How do I make her understand that this life and especially my future as an adult is indifferent, brings me only stress and tiredness and the prospect of having a life that everyone considers normal and inevitable and concluded, a life with a 9-5 job and no extended holidays and not enough free time, just isn't worth the effort for me.
I fear she will tell that I am no one special that should require exceptions and this is the life countless of people live on this earth and others have it even way worse, and I will have to just suck it up and deal with it.
Goodness, I don't even know what my parents are going to think about me now that they know I am suicidal. They brought everything upon me and I hate that I have to turn to them for help and I hate that they now know how vulnerable I am.
I wanted them to know the least amount possible of my private life and now they know my deepest and darkest secret. Everything is derailing dear God have mercy
I will have to talk to her about my suicidal ideation now, and I am afraid she will not take me seriously because I am not depressed.
How do I make her understand that this life and especially my future as an adult is indifferent, brings me only stress and tiredness and the prospect of having a life that everyone considers normal and inevitable and concluded, a life with a 9-5 job and no extended holidays and not enough free time, just isn't worth the effort for me.
I fear she will tell that I am no one special that should require exceptions and this is the life countless of people live on this earth and others have it even way worse, and I will have to just suck it up and deal with it.
Goodness, I don't even know what my parents are going to think about me now that they know I am suicidal. They brought everything upon me and I hate that I have to turn to them for help and I hate that they now know how vulnerable I am.
I wanted them to know the least amount possible of my private life and now they know my deepest and darkest secret. Everything is derailing dear God have mercy