Venting My only friend is going on vacation when I have to exit💔

[Tortured Existence]

Things have gotten so bad with my health, that I have to go this week. My only friend, who's done so much for me since I've known them, is leaving for a long-planned trip with their sibling who live about 5 miles from each other.

They're both in their mid-late 60s, respectively (I'm in my 50s) and obviously are in good health since they're going to be in a plane (not first class for some reason) for like 12 hours, to go and get drunk every single day, and I can hardly move around my small home.

I may have no right to feel hurt and resentful, but this person knows I just 4 days ago found out I probably have cancer again. This type even worse than the last and extremely painful. They also know that my tinnitus reached a new intolerable level over a week ago…(and my countless other health issues).

Lastly, they know that I'll be drinking my N, and I'll be history within a day or 2 of when they're leaving (in a couple days).

They literally told me that not disappointing their sibling is more important than my life or death.

I hate people, and I truly can't wait to exit this horrific existence. I only wish I could stop crying. It feels like I'm being rejected by my relatives again, one by one…just because.

 

[Jrmull1993]

I can't imagine a disappointment like that during a time of need. I'm incredibly sorry to hear that you'll be alone for your final moments, and your feelings are more than appropriate.

While I know it is nowhere near the same thing, I can assure you in just my short time of being on this forum, there will be people on here to listen to you.

Regardless of who is or isn't there when you CTB, I wish you luck, and that the day is as peaceful as possible.

I'm sorry for the situation you've been put in, through no fault of your own.

❤

 

[FuneralCry]

To me, people really can be so disappointing. I guess it just shows that you cannot really rely on others. It sounds so horrible the situation you are in, life is just too cruel and I'm sorry that you have had to endure so much suffering. I hope that you find freedom from what you are going through.