Help My only CTB option scares the sh** out of me

[Velvet Fortress]

So basically I chickened out of using SN because I failed at getting dopamine blockers. The only other option I got is this rope I've had for a while.

I tried the noose, pulled with some force upwards for testing and immediately panic started settling in, and I found the feeling of the rope choking me horrible and terror inducing

I really want to do partial hanging but I just can't get over that feeling despite really wanting to die. I wanted to choose SN or Nitrogen because they are way more peaceful and I could die while lying in bed, hugging pillows, but obviously I'm clapped by difficulty of access. I just can't bring myself to hang myself lile this and I hate it.

I'm considering getting really drunk to get over the survival instinct but something tells me I probably won't follow through either.

Does anybody have suggestions?

 

[Evelyn Lane]

So basically I chickened out of using SN because I failed at getting dopamine blockers. The only other option I got is this rope I've had for a while.

I tried the noose, pulled with some force upwards for testing and immediately panic started settling in, and I found the feeling of the rope choking me horrible and terror inducing

I really want to do partial hanging but I just can't get over that feeling despite really wanting to die. I wanted to choose SN or Nitrogen because they are way more peaceful and I could die while lying in bed, hugging pillows, but obviously I'm clapped by difficulty of access. I just can't bring myself to hang myself lile this and I hate it.

I'm considering getting really drunk to get over the survival instinct but something tells me I probably won't follow through either.

Does anybody have suggestions?

Were you trying partial or full suspension hanging?

 

[okuhvtuji]

here to offer you support through your problems

 

[Velvet Fortress]

Were you trying partial or full suspension hanging?

Partial

You can order Phenobarbital and MCP on the darknet. It's the option I want to use. You should die peacefully with that, it's used for assisted suicide. Also google exitbag. But please consider thoroughly. Why do you want to die?

I'm not sure I'm equipped to navigate the darknet safely. But I'll consider it, thank you. I've also considered it for many years, it's not something I'm taking lightly. There are many reasons

 

[okuhvtuji]

Partial


I'm not sure I'm equipped to navigate the darknet safely. But I'll consider it, thank you. I've also considered it for many years, it's not something I'm taking lightly. There are many reasons

I used to have a crush on gaara when I was a kid, lol
I'm weak myself and I feel you, but if you want to open up about what brought you to this decision, I'm here

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

You can order Phenobarbital and MCP on the darknet. It's the option I want to use. You should die peacefully with that, it's used for assisted suicide. Also google exitbag. But please consider thoroughly. Why do you want to die?

Where is it on the dark web? What is mCP? I have searched for phenobarbital on the dark web and I didn't find it. They sell liquid phenobarbital? Please private message to me if you don't want to say it publicly.

 

[ur8ndom]

I can't pm you. Can you pm me? Why do you want to die?

 

[Lost Magic]

I'll be honest, Survival Instinct is a bitch (even with less scary options and pills). I tried hanging once, and it scared the shit out of me. Maybe hold off for a while and/or try to find other methods.

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

I can't pm you. Can you pm me? Why do you want to die?

No you don't have enough activity your account isn't old enough etc.

I can't pm you. Can you pm me? Why do you want to die?

Did you get phenobarbital or pentobarbital? Did you actually get either one? Off the dark web?

 

[Lost Magic]

Yes it feels impossible if it's not out of impulsivity. I read that like 29 out of 30 survivors who jumped from the golden gate bridge regretted immediately when they jumped. Life is a gift actually and often the problems are just in our head. There are so many homeless or disabled people who don't kill themselves.

Yes, I ordered 10g phenobarbital and MCP drops on asap market but it doesn't exist anymore. But I'm sure the vendor is also on other markets. It were tablets. I threw them away in a clear moment and actually found my way out of the dark place I was in just to ruining it again.

Life is a gift? Okay, well it's not a gift I would have chosen. Each to their own though.

 

[ur8ndom]

It is, it just depends what you make out of it.
When you get out of depression, everything is just glowing and shining. Food tastes so good and everything is so colorful.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

It is, it just depends what you make out of it.
When you get out of depression, everything is just glowing and shining. Food tastes so good and everything is so colorful.

You shouldn't be encouraging, or discouraging, people's decisions. Your life problems are unique to you. You have no idea why others choose to end their lives, nor is it for you to cast judgment on others. If you were able to escape your depression and heal, that's great. Others may have more serious issues than you. Pushing pro-life, anti-choice mantra is not going to get it on here. If you want to do that, I suggest you find a pro-life website to espouse those views. This site is pro-CHOICE - autonomy over one's own body and life.

 

[itsactuallyover127]

dopamine blockers aren't needed for SN
it's mainly antiemetics that are recommended with it

 

[Velvet Fortress]

dopamine blockers aren't needed for SN
it's mainly antiemetics that are recommended with it

Yeah I meant those as well. Anything needing a prescription really I'm not able to secure

 

[itsactuallyover127]

Yeah I meant those as well. Anything needing a prescription really I'm not able to secure

antiemetics are sold OTC here in my country but if they require prescriptions for you, you can get them easily by telling a doctor you have headaches and nausea. it's such a safe medication that doctors will hardly give you trouble for it
but also, you can ctb with only SN and nothing else. it will still work, you just might have to drink multiple cups of the dosage in case you throw up.
read up the Vizzy megathread on SN in the resources thread, it's helpful
if you already have the SN itself, it's such a waste leaving it in my opinion for a harsher method like hanging

 

[Velvet Fortress]

antiemetics are sold OTC here in my country but if they require prescriptions for you, you can get them easily by telling a doctor you have headaches and nausea. it's such a safe medication that doctors will hardly give you trouble for it
but also, you can ctb with only SN and nothing else. it will still work, you just might have to drink multiple cups of the dosage in case you throw up.
read up the Vizzy megathread on SN in the resources thread, it's helpful
if you already have the SN itself, it's such a waste leaving it in my opinion for a harsher method like hanging

Yeah the thing is I'm not fond of the idea of spending a good 45 minutes battling a gag reflex and cycling between barfing SN and chugging more. Especially because the inability to keep it down means there's a good chance I'll wake up some hours later in a pool of vomit. The whole ordeal sounds like torture by itself.

The whole point of SN for me was just dosing once and then drifting off peacefully.

It's still something to consider as opposed to hanging, but the hanging at least would make me pass out fairly quickly

And unfortunately yeah, I'd have to go and sell crap to a doctor to get the stuff, which is very very difficult for me to do atm

 

[itsactuallyover127]

Yeah the thing is I'm not fond of the idea of spending a good 45 minutes battling a gag reflex and cycling between barfing SN and chugging more. Especially because the inability to keep it down means there's a good chance I'll wake up some hours later in a pool of vomit. The whole ordeal sounds like torture by itself.

The whole point of SN for me was just dosing once and then drifting off peacefully.

It's still something to consider as opposed to hanging, but the hanging at least would make me pass out fairly quickly

And unfortunately yeah, I'd have to go and sell crap to a doctor to get the stuff, which is very very difficult for me to do atm

i mean some people have dosed once without anything except the SN and succeeded. unless you know you are naturally a person who easily throws up, i doubt you'd have that problem.
you can try asking for anti-emetics from online pharmacies or online health services that allow you to issue a prescription online if those exist for you

 

[Velvet Fortress]

i mean some people have dosed once without anything except the SN and succeeded. unless you know you are naturally a person who easily throws up, i doubt you'd have that problem.
you can try asking for anti-emetics from online pharmacies or online health services that allow you to issue a prescription online if those exist for you

I'll look into those. Thank you

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Something else to think about is animal medication is the same medication that people take, just different dosages. That includes AE's. Do all online animal pharmacy websites require a presciption? Just something to think about......

 

[emma99]

You shouldn't be encouraging, or discouraging, people's decisions. Your life problems are unique to you. You have no idea why others choose to end their lives, nor is it for you to cast judgment on others. If you were able to escape your depression and heal, that's great. Others may have more serious issues than you. Pushing pro-life, anti-choice mantra is not going to get it on here. If you want to do that, I suggest you find a pro-life website to espouse those views. This site is pro-CHOICE - autonomy over one's own body and life.

It seems to be an issue iv only recently noticed on this site. - People coming on here thinking they can just force people to wear life vests.

Its almost like meeting a religious fanatic whose all like "lets talk about my god?" and act like they care, but just try to brainwash you then

If people cant stay true to their word (as in the reason you want to join this site) then they should be banned. - thats just my opinion anyway.

Yeah the thing is I'm not fond of the idea of spending a good 45 minutes battling a gag reflex and cycling between barfing SN and chugging more. Especially because the inability to keep it down means there's a good chance I'll wake up some hours later in a pool of vomit. The whole ordeal sounds like torture by itself.

The whole point of SN for me was just dosing once and then drifting off peacefully.

It's still something to consider as opposed to hanging, but the hanging at least would make me pass out fairly quickly

And unfortunately yeah, I'd have to go and sell crap to a doctor to get the stuff, which is very very difficult for me to do atm

I agree with you 100%.

you'll find dangerous opinions floating about this site from time to time.
I mean does anyone even know what happens in a failed SN attempt.

I mean the Peaceful pill handbook was written by a doctor. but lets just pretend like we know better.

i mean some people have dosed once without anything except the SN and succeeded.

Source Please?

 

[locked*n*loaded]

It seems to be an issue iv only recently noticed on this site. - People coming on here thinking they can just force people to wear life vests.

Its almost like meeting a religious fanatic whose all like "lets talk about my god?" and act like they care, but just try to brainwash you then

If people cant stay true to their word (as in the reason you want to join this site) then they should be banned. - thats just my opinion anyway.

They were reported and have been banned.

 

[emma99]

They were reported and have been banned.

thankyou