annxietty
“Is there no way out of the mind?”
- Mar 27, 2023
- 174
My mom just died, she had a stroke so severe she had to be put in a coma and we were given the choice to either donate the organs or not, 0 chance of her surviving. My sister and I moved to another country so all this was over the phone, we were notified she had a stroke over the phone, and later that she had no chance of surviving, over the phone, last time I saw her was in May, and last time I spoke to her was January 1st to say that I loved her and wish her a happy new year, now she is dead.
Nothing has hurt like this before, Ive had a lot of shit going on for the longest, Ive seen, heard, lived situations that left me so hurt I tried to kill myself once, but nothing has hurt like this. My mother didnt have a good life, my mother was still young, my mother deserved the world, my mother had dreams, my mother shouldnt be dead and yet... she only knew suffering for the last few years, i cant... this is so painful.
I know people in this site have a view of death that may be considered different from the norm, I know people here want to die, god most of the times I do too, this world is so fucking horrible, so unfair... but can someone tell me how the fuck do I go on? how do I wake up tomorrow and go to work? how do I laugh again? She was my favorite person in the world, she meant to me so much... she cant be gone... please someone tell me how the fuck can this be happening...
Thank you for reading, many people hate their parents, and they have good reason for it, but if you love someone, if you love your mom or your dad, dont waste a fucking day not telling them and please make sure they take care of themselves, hug them and if you cant just make them feel loved over the phone, please, so you dont have the regrets I have now, now that she is gone and I will never hug her, kiss her, or feel her presence.
Nothing has hurt like this before, Ive had a lot of shit going on for the longest, Ive seen, heard, lived situations that left me so hurt I tried to kill myself once, but nothing has hurt like this. My mother didnt have a good life, my mother was still young, my mother deserved the world, my mother had dreams, my mother shouldnt be dead and yet... she only knew suffering for the last few years, i cant... this is so painful.
I know people in this site have a view of death that may be considered different from the norm, I know people here want to die, god most of the times I do too, this world is so fucking horrible, so unfair... but can someone tell me how the fuck do I go on? how do I wake up tomorrow and go to work? how do I laugh again? She was my favorite person in the world, she meant to me so much... she cant be gone... please someone tell me how the fuck can this be happening...
Thank you for reading, many people hate their parents, and they have good reason for it, but if you love someone, if you love your mom or your dad, dont waste a fucking day not telling them and please make sure they take care of themselves, hug them and if you cant just make them feel loved over the phone, please, so you dont have the regrets I have now, now that she is gone and I will never hug her, kiss her, or feel her presence.
