Venting My mother told me she wishes I was dead

[AbusedInnocent]

How the fuck can some people be so evil, she never misses an opportunity to beat me while I'm down, always scolding me for being depressed.

Somehow when she sees that I'm sad she only cares about how this inconveniences her and never gives a shit about how I'm feeling.

She always makes all my problems including depression strictly my fault and never offers any support except financial, I have no need for money anymore except buying suicide methods.

I told her that she's pushing me towards suicide and she said she wishes I was dead.

And somehow she convinces everyone that she's the victim and I'm hating her unfairly, some people even told me I'm obligated to respect her just for feeding me.

I think I'm going to sleep with a knife under my pillow from now on, maybe I can find comfort in its sharp blade, I know I can stab myself in the neck and succeed if I put my mind to it, I look forward to sharpening this knife first though, I hope the sight of me dead covered in blood haunts her for the rest of her life.

I really wish I had a gun, I think a handgun is actually man's best friend, it's the universal solution to every problem and the escape from every situation, I'll have to settle for a knife for now though which is more like a cat honestly.

 

[theboy]

Awful!
She shouldn't treat you that way. I suggest you ignore her or simply run away from home to a close family member or friend.

 

[uglyugly]

So, so sorry. That is an awful way for a mother to talk to their child. I know from experience that ignoring a parent's behavior is nearly impossible, but I'd try putting as much distance as possible between the two of you. You don't deserve to be treated that way by anyone.

 

[Brokensaddle]

abusive relationship are like parasites simbiosis relationship. Get as far and fast away from her because she makes you sick enough to be in the hospital

 

[dagyu]

shes a terrible mother and projecting her insecurities and self-hate onto you. you don't deserve any of it.

 

[Worndown]

Well, won't she be surprised when you are!

 

[maniac116]

That's an awful thing to say to anyone, let alone their own child.
I'm sorry you were on the receiving end of that hurtful tirade. Thats mental abuse!

 

[FuneralCry]

That truly is so cruel, it's so horrible to me how some humans just create way more suffering. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[AbusedInnocent]

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who took the time to reply to this thread or at least reacted, it really means a lot to me.

I might be able to find a way to live away from her by next year, if I'm still alive by then.

Love you all and thanks for the support.

 

[Tesha]

She is sadistically ill and undeserving of having children. You however are strong.

Please try everything you can to get away from her - if this community can offer support or advice, I'm sure we will.

She's not worth your emotional energy - keep it for yourself.

 

[CatLvr]

I am so sorry she is your mother. No child deserves to be spoken to like that.

 

[Jeav]

I had to deal with verbal and physical abuse


So i understand you :) and send you love

 

[Hanaga]

Your mother is horrible. I understand how terrible it is when the person who is supposed to love and protect you says such disgusting things. I understand firsthand how you feel, as all of my 'family' members have said they would feel great joy if I killed myself. The best advice would be to cut her out of your life as she is likely the cause of your depression. People who tell you to respect her for feeding you are complete assholes.

 

[maniac116]

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who took the time to reply to this thread or at least reacted, it really means a lot to me.

I might be able to find a way to live away from her by next year, if I'm still alive by then.

Love you all and thanks for the support

 

[NotesFromTheShadow]

How the fuck can some people be so evil, she never misses an opportunity to beat me while I'm down, always scolding me for being depressed.

Somehow when she sees that I'm sad she only cares about how this inconveniences her and never gives a shit about how I'm feeling.

She always makes all my problems including depression strictly my fault and never offers any support except financial, I have no need for money anymore except buying suicide methods.

I told her that she's pushing me towards suicide and she said she wishes I was dead.

And somehow she convinces everyone that she's the victim and I'm hating her unfairly, some people even told me I'm obligated to respect her just for feeding me.

I think I'm going to sleep with a knife under my pillow from now on, maybe I can find comfort in its sharp blade, I know I can stab myself in the neck and succeed if I put my mind to it, I look forward to sharpening this knife first though, I hope the sight of me dead covered in blood haunts her for the rest of her life.

I really wish I had a gun, I think a handgun is actually man's best friend, it's the universal solution to every problem and the escape from every situation, I'll have to settle for a knife for now though which is more like a cat honestly.

Sounds like some decent narcissism to me. So sorry you have to go through this.

I have people who behave like that in my family too. The worst is when they gaslight you so hard that you question all the time whether they are right and YOU are actually the fucked up one here, who is doing everything wrong. And then they can't respect your boundaries even if you make them crystal clear. It's just as if they decide to not hear anything you're saying - ever. This shit frustrates me so hard.

Also, those people will never change, the only thing you can really do is walk away from them and cut all contact.