My mother knows I'm suicidal

[PAfb_640]

Literally just now, after I posted a WhatsApp Status "What should I do before my life ends?", my mother responded and I replied to her in a straight up, direct, and frustrated tone:

Mother: Are you okay?

Me: No. I Want to kill myself.

Mother: Allahu, why?

Me: Why not. The World is a mess.

Mother: Which mess specifically?

Me: Thousands of inconveniences piling up to one huge anxiety. BTW, I've done research, I can easily buy the tools I need online.

Mother: Want to share your thoughts? What are those inconveniences? Do you want to go home? Take a break from college?

Me: I'll stay here. Train is expensive. And the inconveniences are.... (I just tell all the fucked up things in the world as much as I can. I did not share anything personal with her. I don't trust her)

Now I'm waiting for her reply. She's taking some time I think. Should I tell her I've been browsing suicide forums. A part of me really wants to make her worried.

 

[bobblong]

Just tell her the truth , I can tell she's a caring mother.

 

[Rogue Proxy]

If you are serious about ending your life, then refraining from mentioning this site, your plans, and sources would be the wisest decision. There's also a high chance of her siccing the cops on you, and them forcing you into psychiatric "treatment."

 

[StillBreathing]

Call her or meet her in person. This is not a conversation to be made with texts.. Just my opinion.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that it's a terrible idea being so open about being suicidal if one actually wishes to leave this world. We exist in a society where so many are against the right to die after all, and being open about wanting to die could mean that others could potentially interfere in suicide plans or force someone into a horrific psych ward as already said. It's very unfortunate how people cannot discuss the subject of suicide openly without risks but this is just the reality.

 

[stermc]

My mom knows absolutely everything about my suicidal ideation. She first found out about it when I was 12 and she saw some cuts on my arms, and since then we talk about it openly. She didn't understand it in the beginning, but I kept insisting and because of that I have a lot of support.

I think it is important to kind of "read" the person before you actually tell them and also think about what kind of relationship you have with them (do they respect your individuality? Stuff like that).
My mom even knows I have SN. I live with her and she has never tried to take it away, for example.
She always says she doesn't approve my decision to ctb, but she understands that I have tried and that I am tired.